Short Story of the Month - APR 06
Recently the flu paid me a visit. Yee-Haa! Eboli, SARS, The Bird flu, The next big booga-boo. Are you scared yet? Yeah, me neither. You have to be afraid of dying to be scared. As our song goes "I look around and I see all these things, I wanna wake up, Its just a bad dream, its just a bad dream, I wanna wake up..." So ontop of it all, I had the flu. Wonderful. In the daze of it all, popping this pill and that pill, labels promising liver disease if you drink 3 or more drinks a day. Who the fuck does'nt drink 3 or more drinks a day? Here's to em' ! they've got more stamina than me.
So in my daze, I happen upon Steve, the ex-Navy seal medic (or so he claims) and the spa owner in the condo where I work, and I promptly thank him for the chocolates that he and his wife gave me for Christmas, (oh I'm sorry "The Holidays") and proceeded to tell him about my current state of disheval, when he suggested a product called ZYCAM. I did'nt know it that morning that I was going to be on the search for this product, but by gaad there I was in the middle of CVS pharmacy on Linclon Rd, "THE" CVS you always see multiple shoplifting arrest in the crime section of the paper and its ALWAYS some weird ensamble the shoplifter has decided to shoplift. A bag of chips, a comb and sunglasses. 50 candy bars and some hair gel. ALWAYS some kind of shit like that. And here I am in my dazed flu stupor in the middle of all these petty theives, and it looks like the fucking circus just got off the bus from a 300 mile straight drive. Freaks, tourist, beast. Complete madness all around me.
I finally found the ZICAM and it comes in 3 forms and its spelled ZICAM. I get the spray labeled mint flavoured hoping for the best as Steve said "the stuff tasted like shit". Mint? I defy ANYONE to tell me they taste mint! After consuming this stuff I imagined some Animal Testing lab down by the docks in New Jersey and to maximize profits they had started collecting various animal urine soaked in monkey shit for good measures. Stirred. Filtered and strained and bottled for the unsuspecting public. ZICAM.
After looking at the label I owe the Jersey boys down by the docks an apology as the nasty stuff is conjured up in Pheonix, AZ. Ok I gotcha, methamphetimines, ZycaM, THE DESERT, MegaDeth, mountains, dust and cactus, that sorta vibe. A filtered ape shit by product nevertheless. Then the effects hit you. Like swollowing shards of glass every time you swallow compounded by the wonderful feeling of a pain in the middle of your forhead like a vaccum is sucking your brains out.
In all fairness To the ZICAM people, thier shitty bottle of ZICAM quit working and I returned the it to the store I bought it from, and the replacement product actually did have a mintish-like flavor. Still the needles in the throat feeling though.
The piont of all this is: I took the OTC medicine to make me feel better. Is'nt this why anyone takes any drug? To feel better or to feel good? Whats so wrong about wanting to feel good? I think its a positive step forward. However, our goverment, which does not reflect the will of the majority of people, demonizes certain drugs that people take to feel better? Why? Answer in short: MONEY. Look at the prison system and those who have a majority interest in the business of keeping it well stocked. Would it shock you to learn that our President owns
stock in a major business supplying goods to the prison sytems in many states? No, drugs such as marijuana and others must be demonized to keep the system at overflowing capacity. Can't we ALWAYS count on the goverment to make desicions that is in the best of its intrest instead of the people? You bet'cha. Never do they make logical decisions that are truley for the people. Will it ever change? Doubtful. Will we EVER see the evil weed legalized in our lifetimes? Don't hold your breath.
I used to hardly get colds. Then the last two years - Bam! WTF? Anyway Eboli, Sars, the fucking Bird Flu and the NEXT big Booga - Boo....see you next month when we'll have a NEW EP "THE VENGEFUL LEGIONS" wt new music and we're presently editing our 1st punk literaty effort "THE GREAT AMERICAN (sex) NOVEL" in which I, the author, escort you, The reader, to the source of all the present day madness. A modern day Alice-n-Wonderland if you will. Will you? We're shopping it around to several publishing houses and if we don't get any takers we will "DIY and let it fly" and have it up on the site for "print on demand" . We don't fuck around, but you ALREADY knew that.....
So in my daze, I happen upon Steve, the ex-Navy seal medic (or so he claims) and the spa owner in the condo where I work, and I promptly thank him for the chocolates that he and his wife gave me for Christmas, (oh I'm sorry "The Holidays") and proceeded to tell him about my current state of disheval, when he suggested a product called ZYCAM. I did'nt know it that morning that I was going to be on the search for this product, but by gaad there I was in the middle of CVS pharmacy on Linclon Rd, "THE" CVS you always see multiple shoplifting arrest in the crime section of the paper and its ALWAYS some weird ensamble the shoplifter has decided to shoplift. A bag of chips, a comb and sunglasses. 50 candy bars and some hair gel. ALWAYS some kind of shit like that. And here I am in my dazed flu stupor in the middle of all these petty theives, and it looks like the fucking circus just got off the bus from a 300 mile straight drive. Freaks, tourist, beast. Complete madness all around me.
I finally found the ZICAM and it comes in 3 forms and its spelled ZICAM. I get the spray labeled mint flavoured hoping for the best as Steve said "the stuff tasted like shit". Mint? I defy ANYONE to tell me they taste mint! After consuming this stuff I imagined some Animal Testing lab down by the docks in New Jersey and to maximize profits they had started collecting various animal urine soaked in monkey shit for good measures. Stirred. Filtered and strained and bottled for the unsuspecting public. ZICAM.
After looking at the label I owe the Jersey boys down by the docks an apology as the nasty stuff is conjured up in Pheonix, AZ. Ok I gotcha, methamphetimines, ZycaM, THE DESERT, MegaDeth, mountains, dust and cactus, that sorta vibe. A filtered ape shit by product nevertheless. Then the effects hit you. Like swollowing shards of glass every time you swallow compounded by the wonderful feeling of a pain in the middle of your forhead like a vaccum is sucking your brains out.
In all fairness To the ZICAM people, thier shitty bottle of ZICAM quit working and I returned the it to the store I bought it from, and the replacement product actually did have a mintish-like flavor. Still the needles in the throat feeling though.
The piont of all this is: I took the OTC medicine to make me feel better. Is'nt this why anyone takes any drug? To feel better or to feel good? Whats so wrong about wanting to feel good? I think its a positive step forward. However, our goverment, which does not reflect the will of the majority of people, demonizes certain drugs that people take to feel better? Why? Answer in short: MONEY. Look at the prison system and those who have a majority interest in the business of keeping it well stocked. Would it shock you to learn that our President owns
stock in a major business supplying goods to the prison sytems in many states? No, drugs such as marijuana and others must be demonized to keep the system at overflowing capacity. Can't we ALWAYS count on the goverment to make desicions that is in the best of its intrest instead of the people? You bet'cha. Never do they make logical decisions that are truley for the people. Will it ever change? Doubtful. Will we EVER see the evil weed legalized in our lifetimes? Don't hold your breath.
I used to hardly get colds. Then the last two years - Bam! WTF? Anyway Eboli, Sars, the fucking Bird Flu and the NEXT big Booga - Boo....see you next month when we'll have a NEW EP "THE VENGEFUL LEGIONS" wt new music and we're presently editing our 1st punk literaty effort "THE GREAT AMERICAN (sex) NOVEL" in which I, the author, escort you, The reader, to the source of all the present day madness. A modern day Alice-n-Wonderland if you will. Will you? We're shopping it around to several publishing houses and if we don't get any takers we will "DIY and let it fly" and have it up on the site for "print on demand" . We don't fuck around, but you ALREADY knew that.....
Labels: Humerous Cold/FLU blog
posted by Mark Scott at 10:27 AM
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