Short Story of the Month JULY 2008 : ViDEOHHHH Safari to ALASKA: NuclearFUCKINskull-N-Bones

So I finally hooked up wt a new Video Intern and as it turns out the crazy son of a bitch is loaded to the piont his brains gone numb on him. In anycase, This person applied for the job and you buy the ticket you take the ride.....And so WE talked video and IDEAS (Which are a dime a doz.) and So you get What you get with the upcoming videos WE will have for you CRAZY people..... Its all about mixing all your passions into one life dontcha think?

Video Safari 1 : Abraham Lincon Bear: You see the problem is getting the dosage of the dart right, too much you can kill them.. too little and he'll get upset that you are trying to put 25 yds of pink spandex all around him or as in this case ABRAHAM LINCLON BEAR.

Black tarp and velcro suit, top hat, beard...just add the ZZ TOP "sharp dressed man" sound bite and we have a winner....Thats one sexy, angry bear... a very distinguished bear...

Video Safari 2: The Meryll Lynch and Mountain Dew DeeRssssss : Again, its all about the dosage- too much ya kill'em to little ya get gored shaving and spray painting "Tide" on the side of the son of a bitch angry fucker.....Shit you crazyMUTHERfucker anybody can kill an animal, its dressing them up and improving them that the key. Oh sure I've killed more than one to eat and like i said, ANYONE can strangle a chicken and fry it.NBD. Its dressing it up in a 70's disco outfit wt platform shoes that makes all mankind step aside and say....GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY MUTHAFUCKA!!!......this is not some FAMILY GUY cartoon BUT THE "REAL DEAL".....

Vid Safari 3: The chase is better than the catch.......Well this ones all about us plowing through the bush getting the shots. Trying not to draw too much attention...OH YEAH Right!...we dont want a permit to kill animals, we want a permit to drug them to sleep and paint FEDex on thier sides and heads......I can just see that one: "Ok can you hold on while I go get my boss..." So its all covert and UNDERcover as the vid shows.

VID 4: Ballerina Bear.....Problems and not enough DRUGS to put on the tutu...

Vid 5. ESCAPE FROM Devils IslandD.....

Vid 6. The "Trip" To the NW, incl. San Fran Bay Area, Seattle, Portland, Vancouver, Anchorage Footage = drinking, eating, rockin it wt the locals.

anyway its all in mixing and production stages. The HARD part is done. No more Cutting out suitss snd jackets for bears and beavers and ANYway it should be available on YOUTUBE real soon plus @ our disgusting site and all the other major rager places that you've come to know and love.....


Work in progress to spell check/add

Short Story of the Month JUNE 08

Back in 1938 (or was it 39?) No matter, it was around that time frame, that 2 men were setting on a park bench in some un-named, minor European city. One enjoyed a pipe while taking in the scenery. The other enjoying the paper and the fresh breezed being warmed by the spring sun. Neither knew the other and it was random that it had come about that they were there at that particular time. ....

..Just then a mother strolled by only to stop and comfort the baby who was crying. "There, there." she said adjusting a pillow and turning the child, placing the pacifer back in its mouth." The man on the left said aloud to no one in particular other than himself, "I love that baby" and quickly went back to reading the article of some high court Judge caught taking bribes. The lady had returned to pushing the stroller, returning in the direction she had come, when the man on the left looked in astonishment to the other man and said "I BEG YOUR PARDON!!" The other man stopped reading his paper and just stared at it thinking to himself "No, This Mutherfucking Son of a Bitch is not Talking to me". The other man stared callously in the direction of the one "reading" the paper. The silence was a dramatic build of what the world was about to become....Then the man put his paper down and looked matter of factly to the other and said "I LOVE THAT BABY!"...

...The HATE and down right animosity burned in the mind and eyes of the other man, " You don't even know that fucking babies name! I LOVE THAT CHILD!!" He proclaimed spitting his words as he said it, clearly aggitated. The other man threw his paper to the ground standing up in his defense, "I LOVE THAT BABY!! I LOVE THAT FUCKING CHILD!" It was a shout heard all around the park clearing birds from thier roost and alerting others calmnly and silently enjoying thier day in nature. A constible was soon alerted.

The argument went on and on and escalated with manacing and threatening glares "I LOVE THAT CHILD! You dont even know its NAAAAAME!!! " One would proclaim loudly, only to be followed by the other just as loud if not louder... Insults were exchanged, threats were made. Each side very capable of carrying out such threats. Names were named. Identities were revealed. Sides were clearly marked.Names were taken.....

......Hours later phone calls were made involving others on each side. Battle groups were put on HIGH ALERT. Warships were re-routed. Salvos were exchanged on the high seas, Pilots and troops were assembled, briefed and put into immediate action. This was TOTAL FUCKIN WAR!!....and it went on for years and years, battle after battle. A surge here, a break in the line there. A TOTAL outright fight to the DEATH. Retreat was NOT an option on either side as the millions and millions of dead bodies piled up, mainly innocent civillians though.

AnyFUCKINway, the maimed and wounded numbered into the hundredes of millions....When anyone had brought up the subject as to WHY THEY WERE FIGHTING in the first place, One would scream out more as a question than an answer, in this case a soldier speaking in a southern dilect "something about the "Neggards..?" Another immediatly correcting the southerner matter of factly "NO! Its the JEWS!" In the corner a recruit quietly asked his platoon leader what a "Neggard" was, though the platoon leader couldnt quite say outright he answered anyway "I dont rightly know, I think its someone from "The NeggerLANDs". ..."Where's THE NEGGERLANDs?" another soldier listening in on the conversation asked while they all cleaned thier guns to a shine. Others said, correctly I might add, it was over 2 men in a park fighting over "who loved a baby that neither of them had ever seen before, much less knew what its name was or what it looked like, or wether it was a boy or girl, or its mother for that matter. But that was dismissed, as it was just too absurb to believe. Certainly they were fighting for HONOR, PATRIOTISM, and NATIONALISM and extreme LOVE for country..

..the bodies mounted and the occupants of each side sacrificed for the cause....Anyway kids This is how World War II was started.If you were like me, in High School they would get to the end of the Civil War in one school year and the next restart from the Revolutionary war all over again. So NOW you know, THANX TO ME (You're WelCome!) how WWII was STARTED and if you dont believe me, just go ask some old person, They'll tell ya! Go ahead ask your Grand Pa or Grand Ma they'll tell ya too. The Japanese even got involved crashing airplanes into ships and digging tunnels. ...go ahead ask'em, It was hell on living earth!

and in closing, I love that baby more than any of you fuckers. . So THERE....Got a problem with it?

Short Story of The Month May 2008

To them it was just another "situation". Full blown peckerheads in "full-on operational mode". Peacocks dressed up for the parade. They had NEVER seen the likes of him. But he would show them.

Now completely "barracaded" in the house, he decided it was time to let two of his hostages go. All part of the plan.

They had the place completely surrounded. 4 officers down :) They had him cornered with nowhere to go. There was NOWAY he was getting out of this one alive. And then two hostages came running out of the house. Then two more and finally, the last. It was time to move in and take this fucker out!!

He had planned this for years. The tunnels, the explosives, the carnage, The DEATH, the destruction. Yep, he was a man with a plan.

They moved in. He watched them. They cleared one room and then another. He patiently watched them on his laptop. They cleared the house and no-one was to be found. They even did an infrared and NOTHING except a mouse in a wall . The house was empty. He watched them as they investigated the crime scene as they got more and more comfortable. And thats when he hit the switch.

They thought they were in charge. They always do. He had lured as many of the peices of shit into the house as he could. Rats in a trap. And then he hit the switch.

"oh my Gaa..." was the lead sound bite on CNN from the reporter who HAD BEEN on the scene, now several hours dead and vaporized, as the entire house exploded in a ball of flame and the cameras went dead and the studio bitch panned in with her talking head. He watched the tv as he casually sipped his coffee saying to no-one in particular "Thats just terrible".

He hated cops. No, you SHUT THE FUCK UP!! You hate cops because you got a speeding ticket because you were speeding. He had endured years of thier bullshit. Give a man a badge and watch as the heads roll. Yeah, they had fucked him over good on more than one occassion. They really showed him who was boss. He veiwed them as nothing more than "high School chump bullies" and now he dealt with them as such.

He had stood deep in thier den of snakes and iniquity and fought them with venemous anarchy. He spit venom. They hated it. He put his coffee down and turned and left the diner.

He watched them as they went through the rubble. They had eventually found the caved in tunnel. It took them 8 months to figure that one out and even then if it had not been for some bitch with her dog tied to the sagging telephone pole to tip them off they otherwise would still be scratching thier heads.

Yes, he watched them as they held thier Scottish bagpipes blowing a sorrowful mournful tune. Weepy whiney. Boo fuckin whoo and a river of tears and all that bullshit. He laughed so hard he almost cried himself!! A fucking deluge it was. A freakin waterfall!! So many "heroes" lost. How many was it at last count not including the families loss and broken hearts and total devestation?

ANSWER: The VENGEFUL LEGIONS never started counting from the very start so take your fucking guess....Alpha...Omega....get you some. :)

Short Story of The Month APRIL 2008

It was a mammoth smoking steaming machine that you could see from outterspace. Gargantuous.

People came from miles and miles around just to pay 25 cents to stick thier genitails inside it. ORGASMATRON. The ULTIMATE. FINAL. COMPLETE!! We can ALL die NOW!

And like salmon swimming upstream they came, most blowing thier load pre-maturely, others rithing and convolsing in the grips of it.....

...they lined up for miles and miles, as far as the naked technologically advanced eye could see...ORGASMAfuckinTRON.