Short Story of the Month DEC 2008

What will we do next???.... Hmmmm. December = Santa Claus, Sweet little baby in a manger sleepy time now SSHhhhh ! QUIET!! YOU FOOL!! We just got him down for his nap, HE's been crying all day and my nerves are a wreck and PUT OUT That fucking cigarette are you trying to catch the Manger ON FIRE?!! You moron, YOU KNOW how FIRE follows you around!!! LoL!.....How can we put it in a blender and whip it all around into some perverted twisted nightmare thats more a tribute to " Degenerate Society @ large, and its insatiable quest for more violence and debauchery"???....thinking. something SEASONAL....... Something Special......... hmmmm.......

Hey! If I wanted to be LAZY I could just say: There's yer Short Story of the Month right HERE. A rant thinking about what to write next wt a Christmas/Hanakah/4 Kings Day/Kwanza twisted twist to make others punch walls and fist and others to roll on the floor LoL......

AND TO make it a MYSTERY I can say:

"Is THAT it??!!"

And ITS 2009 Already?!! Geez I thought we'd all be like the Jetsons by now, flying around in Cars and a PERFECT WORLD except for the Dog Walker Machines...call a Personal Injury Attorney!! LoL!! So that's it? THAT's the Dec 08 Short Story of the Month???

The Mystery continues.............Planet Earth 2009 .....

Short Story of the Month Nov 2008

It had taken a while but FINALLY I had got God and SATAN together at the same table. "Whats the Big Problem?" I asked "Can't we ALL just get along? I mean, WE ALL make mistakes @ some point! IF you hadn't of made SATAN", I said to GOD "He wouldnt admire you so much that He wants to be you" Just then an angel standing along the wall farted and the tension was broken as we all laughed quite loudly.....
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....And then, to make things more complicated and chaotic the WORLD GOVERMENT commanded that ALL occupants of Earth names would be change to a goverment issued name. George Washington became Terry Richardson. Mick Jagger became Hank Johnston. Martha Stewart became Anna Marie Charmicheal and so forth and so on.

-What'd you get?

* Bill Parker. What about you?

- Steve Lawton..... Wanna trade?

* I dont think it works like that Darrell!!

- Its Steve... Steve Lawton.

* Oh yeah, sorry. I forgot.

SHort Story of the Month: Oct 2008: LA Food scenes and Trends

I've been making trips to LA on and off for the past 2 months and on one of my trips there I was with one of my "Bff Jills" and we had been out walking under the guise of looking for apartments for me to rent, and I mentioned that I was getting hungry. So she says "what do you want to eat?" I thought about it for a second or two, "I dont know?" I replied "Mexican. A chicken burrito?" And heres where it gets good. She says "Ask that guy right there" pionting towards some middle aged latino man. "Where a mexican place is?" I asked wondering if she wanted me to ask the man where a place to eat was.

I didnt get an answer but a "nevermind" instead, before she began to walk off in the direction of the man. I followed. "2 chicken burritos por favor?" she said to him. "Si" he said in response and began unbuckeling his belt revealing a lining of aluminium foiled burritos around his waist hanging from strings tied to his belt. He pulled off 2 and said something in spanish. "You want hot sauce" bff Jill asked. At this point I was just stunned. ANOTHER Twilight Zone moment. "What the Fuck?" I asked totally in disbelief? "He keeps'em in his pants to keep them warm" she said handing me a warm aluminum foil log. She handed the man $2 and began unwrapping her chicken burrito and taking a bite saying "mmmmm This is good!" between chews. Suddenly I wasnt that hungry.

I wished I could have seen the expression on my face. PRICELESS. My mind was racing with all kinds of thoughts and I asked "What if I wanted a chicken Taco?" and to my amazement she replied matter of factly and as casual as can be "They got them too." She said "Pollo taco?" to the man and he replied again "Si". "You want a chicken taco too?" she asked. Hey @ this piont I was game for whatever was coming next. "Sure" I said. "2" she said to the man at which point he whistled to a lady standing up against a wall. She walked over opening her purse revealing tupperware bowls of cheese, tomato and an aluminum foil ball of chicken, whereupon she began to assemble the 2 chicken tacos. And to push it, I asked for chips and salsa. She had that too.

I ate my chicken burrito and taco, chips and salsa and it was good. Later I learned from my bff, that this is a common thing in LA. I'm world travelled and I had never experienced anything like this before. I mean roadside taco stands in Tijauna -Yes. This - No. I'm betting this will never be on a FOOD NETWORK show!! If you dont beleive me and you are in the LA area just go up to any latino person on the street, with money in your hand, and ask them for a Taco salad or whatever it is you are hungry for. I guarentee if they dont have what you want on them, someone near by does. Truely Amazing Ingenuity and Entreprenuership.

So it was no surprise later in ChinaTown when I asked if we could get a simular "street" meal and the reply was "affermative". And sure enough when I timidly asked a small oriental man for 2 eggs rolls the process was repeated complete wt both duck and sweet-n-sour sauce options. I also had A piping hot egg drop soup complete wt the crispy noodle topping. And while I wasnt that hungry, I was told that if, in fact, I wanted an entree there were people within shouting distance to provide everything from Peking Duck to Chicken Lo Mein and in some cases a man with a wok set up welded to his bike for some blazin sizzling Vegatable Beef. Again AMAZING!!

I havent moved yet, but I think I'm goinna like this town. I already do.