My Dream Woman

Alot of guys go for the Hot chick with the big tits and nice ass. NOT ME. Dont get me wrong, I like those kind of features in a woman and to be frank the ONLY kind of woman to actually "be with" takes care of herself and is in physically fit shape.

However, my ultimate dream woman is an obese bed ridden pig who's so heavy her legs cant hold her up. THIS is marriage material providing she has a Life Insurance Policy. She's a dream that I'd feed bacon to EVERY meal and ALL of her drinks would have a reserve of bacon fat in them. I would have her nurse, who I'm more then likely have hot passionate sex with, feed her non-stop until her heart could not take it anymore and she stopped.

Then I would have a bulldozer knock out the side wall of her bedroom and have it haul her massive carcass off to the creamatorium and uncerimoniously incinerated. The next day I'd make a trip down to the Insurance Company and have them cut me a check.

And "The process" would repeat itself.

Did You Know that......

......It is a historical fact, albeit a little known one, that Abraham Lincoln (Inventor of the Hot Dog & The "Sausage Fest" as we know it today) corpse crawled out of his tomb countless times presenting itself in an array of lewd sexual suggestive positions?
In fact, tired of these antics, the powers that be ordered the corpse to be shackled and clamped down to the granite tomb flooring so that it could never get out again in hopes of finally putting an end to all the gay accusations and rumors.
Of course all this did was fan the flames of the fire even more so. Most alive today have completely forgotten about this point in history and even more couldn't even tell you who Abe Lincoln was (a Baseball player?).
All you kids out there interested in learning more ask your teachers in school. They'll tell you all about it providing Local and State Laws allow it.

The Next Generation of Killers

Decatur, AL. 1988 - I was "working" with my then girlfriend at her brothers country store as the breakfast & lunch cook which was a vacation for me considering the GM job I had just resigned from that had me working at an 80 hr week slave wage. One afternoon I happened to walk out the side door just as these two boys probably 7 yrs old, one white the other black, lit a little red wagon with its bed half full of gas with a medium size snapping turtle in it. The turtle wasnt having any of it and was quickly over the side of the wagon and tumbling onto the pavement. One of the boys, I dont remember which one, picked the turtle up and was going to put it back into the flames before I stopped him. You dont have to go looking for Horror. It will find you.

I wonder what those two have been up to since that time......The Next Generation of Killers