Did You Know that......

......It is a historical fact, albeit a little known one, that Abraham Lincoln (Inventor of the Hot Dog & The "Sausage Fest" as we know it today) corpse crawled out of his tomb countless times presenting itself in an array of lewd sexual suggestive positions?
In fact, tired of these antics, the powers that be ordered the corpse to be shackled and clamped down to the granite tomb flooring so that it could never get out again in hopes of finally putting an end to all the gay accusations and rumors.
Of course all this did was fan the flames of the fire even more so. Most alive today have completely forgotten about this point in history and even more couldn't even tell you who Abe Lincoln was (a Baseball player?).
All you kids out there interested in learning more ask your teachers in school. They'll tell you all about it providing Local and State Laws allow it.