Christmas isnt a good time for me because---->

------>This one time when I was about 8, I was playing Santy Clause with my little sister and her sleep over friends and I got stuck in the fireplace and the people who were my parents at the time decided to start a fire and I almost got burned alive and those little fucking girls were just goinna watch and let it happen.....So I really dont like Christmas all that much. Its NOT a good time for me ok? You believe me dontcha?

Walking down Las Vegas Blvd the other day.....

.....My penis, well its wasn't really my penis but one I had found laying beside the road. Anyway, I was holding it up and shaking it at these Christian Jackasses protesting sin or some shit and all of a sudden a Big Hawk swooped down and grabbed it out of my hand and flew away. THAT was totally CRAZY!!....You believe me right?

The PERFECT Girl

We had finally found the perfect girl for the part and she had the greatest personality and was smart and full of what seemed like unending energy, but of course she needed a nose job and she was a little plump so we had to do some minor alterations which took a few months and that was a huge cost to the studio BUT just as we were about to go into Production we FINALLY found the Perfect girl and she was so full of life and read all her lines perfectly BUT of course she needed her teeth fixed and.....