nuclearskull

Nuclear Skull-n-Bones Society

2012-02-03T20:15:00.000-08:00

I may have mentioned this before. It bears repeating considering the updates coming to the website:

In 2006 or so I applied for the US Trademark "Nuclear Skull and Bones" and sent in the form with a check for $250 or so. Now keep in mind that THIS was not my first dance with the US Trademark Office and I had up to this point had successfully filed 2 or 3 applications receiving ownership of Trademarks for use in commerce.

So after a couple months of submitting my application I started getting these emails stating "We're The only Skull-n-Bones and we are Yale and blah, blah = DELETED who cares, Go Fuck...I get alot of emails and over half are spam & get the treatment and I didn't give it a second thought.

Time goes by and I realized I had not heard from the Trademark Office on this application and write them inquiring on its status. Now here's the Punchline: They cashed my check for the application and stated that they sent me a letter inquiring about the application and I failed to reply = Application trashed.

OK, No problem with my other Trademark applications and now all of a sudden I get this?

I figure someone in Washington saw that the "Mark" had been registered and they made a phone call to someone connected to this Closet FAGGOT Blue Blood Yale Fraternity and another phone call was made and someone at the Trademark Office was told to make it go away. Problem Solved.

Problem Solved?....Meet MutherFucker.....I AM Mutherfucker:

\m/ THE Nuclear Fuckin Skull \m/

My answer to the situation is ASK: WWLD? (What Would Lemmy Do?)

So I got my cock out & am waving it in their faces with the NUCLEAR SKULL-n-BONES SOCIETY CD & subsequent "Balls to the Wall" promotions......I NEVER would have gone all "SOCIETY" with it until these fucks came pushing on me...So Thanks assholes...

Suck on MF'ers.

2012

2012-01-17T21:18:00.000-08:00

Madness had leaked into the Insanity in the purest sense of its form.
The entire thing began to fester and boil spitting blood from the sky.
Nothing else mattered any more.
NOTHING.

Christmas isnt a good time for me because---->

2011-12-20T21:57:00.000-08:00

------>This one time when I was about 8, I was playing Santy Clause with my little sister and her sleep over friends and I got stuck in the fireplace and the people who were my parents at the time decided to start a fire and I almost got burned alive and those little fucking girls were just goinna watch and let it happen.....So I really dont like Christmas all that much. Its NOT a good time for me ok? You believe me dontcha?

Walking down Las Vegas Blvd the other day.....

2011-12-20T21:44:00.000-08:00

.....My penis, well its wasn't really my penis but one I had found laying beside the road. Anyway, I was holding it up and shaking it at these Christian Jackasses protesting sin or some shit and all of a sudden a Big Hawk swooped down and grabbed it out of my hand and flew away. THAT was totally CRAZY!!....You believe me right?

The PERFECT Girl

2011-12-06T02:12:00.000-08:00

We had finally found the perfect girl for the part and she had the greatest personality and was smart and full of what seemed like unending energy, but of course she needed a nose job and she was a little plump so we had to do some minor alterations which took a few months and that was a huge cost to the studio BUT just as we were about to go into Production we FINALLY found the Perfect girl and she was so full of life and read all her lines perfectly BUT of course she needed her teeth fixed and.....

I must not run in the halls OR is it "talk in class"???

2011-09-09T18:17:00.000-07:00

I guess to tell the truth, I was a BAD kid and I guess in alot of ways I still am. I have always had the mentality that "I'm goinna do what I want to do and NOTHING is going to stop me." Of course this got me into ALOT of trouble as a young kid in school and the punishment was usually being sent to the Principals Office for "Licks" (These were the days they could beat on you) or writing sentences OR Both. I had my share of BOTH let me tell you. Nevertheless, It DID NOT change me one bit - as if beating a horse will change it from being a horse right? I am a Hellion and I always will be. PERIOD.

I think I have mentioned this in a previous blog here, in anycase to repeat, I threatened to smack my 1st black teacher I ever had in the head with my black George Foster Louisville Slugger Baseball bat if she didnt let me go out for recess with all the other kids. I'm guessing she didnt want the bat because she let me go out and play. However, when recess was over I was sent to the Principals Office and they called my parents and said "Come pick up your kid". The options were State Reform School or Private School......and thus began my illustrious stint in Private Christian School.

Private Christian School was basically a concentration of the worst of the worst male kids and it must have been a real feast or famine for the females looking back on it. So there I was going to church 5 days a week and it all effected me none the least, I was still the Hellion I always was and of course this was frowned upon and I got beat and had to write punishment sentences.

So there I am doing what I do best - raising Hell and there they were doling out the punishment due. At one particular point I had emassed some unimaginable amount of lines to write - something like 5,000 or some shit. Well one night my mother came into my room and saw that instead of doing my homework I was doing this writing and I explained to her if I did not get it done I wouldnt be allowed to go out to recess. I'm sure she looked at the huge figure and surmised that I'd probably be 40 yrs old by the time it was completed and that I'd NEVER see the light of day on a playground ever again. So imagine my mothers point of view paying something like $500 a month (in 1970's dollars) and here I am NOT getting an education BUT tasked to do this repetitious punishment writing. She was pissed and rightfully so. Phone calls were made to other parents and the outrage snowballed.

Alot was going on that I wasnt privy to, but I distinctly remember my big sister who worked as a para-legal coming to me telling me to write the punishment lines on each side of a sheet of paper and then giving it to her. Then the following day I received a HUGE stack of papers that she had made copies of and I was instructed to take them to the teacher which I did = "HERE. Heres your papers." dropping them on the desk with a thud. (I was ONLY in the 6th grade and I think because I was so small my venom was concentrated).

All Hell broke loose with the male teacher protesting that it wasnt written and my mother countering that it wasnt typed and he had asked for 5,000 written lines and there they were. And that was that as others followed the lead producing similar copied papers and we had a full playground of happy screaming kids.

Now as you might have already guessed, this freedom did not last long and little Hellions will be little Hellions and there we were back indoors writing - this time entire paragraphs of shit out of books chosen at random each day. Teacher Check and Mate right?.... Not so fast. Several small battles do not win wars and at the end of the school year ALOT of the parents removed their kids from the school, including mine, siteing this incident and this particular teacher as the reason. Well do the math @ $500 a kid per month x 8 months x 8 or 10 kids and THIS is costing Jesus ALOT of "Jesus Money". I heard the teacher was fired but it still didnt matter as we all marched across town to the other Private Christain School where we did what we did and found ourselves in another square walled room writing punishment lines during recess and before and after school.

The moral to this story????.......Evil Never Dies? You cant change the color of the Sun? Dont bite the hand that feeds?.....I dont know, take from it what you will. All I know is that it was ALL a big waste of time and I'm not referring to just the punishment writing but school in general. I have probably learned way more from watching The History & Discovery Channel & National Geographic than I ever did in 11 yrs of school. Thats right- 11yrs. I realized it was all bullshit and told my parents as much and told them I was joining the Navy where I promptly was taught to type, computer literacy all the while taking college classes rehashing the same BS from High School & getting paid to do it and see the world. Meanwhile I imagine that some of my friends were left behind in a square walled room writing away "I must not talk in class"
I must not talk in class
I must not talk in class
I must not talk in class
I must not talk in class....

My Dream Woman

2011-08-18T15:07:00.000-07:00

Alot of guys go for the Hot chick with the big tits and nice ass. NOT ME. Dont get me wrong, I like those kind of features in a woman and to be frank the ONLY kind of woman to actually "be with" takes care of herself and is in physically fit shape.

However, my ultimate dream woman is an obese bed ridden pig who's so heavy her legs cant hold her up. THIS is marriage material providing she has a Life Insurance Policy. She's a dream that I'd feed bacon to EVERY meal and ALL of her drinks would have a reserve of bacon fat in them. I would have her nurse, who I'm more then likely have hot passionate sex with, feed her non-stop until her heart could not take it anymore and she stopped.

Then I would have a bulldozer knock out the side wall of her bedroom and have it haul her massive carcass off to the creamatorium and uncerimoniously incinerated. The next day I'd make a trip down to the Insurance Company and have them cut me a check.

And "The process" would repeat itself.

Did You Know that......

2011-08-08T10:04:00.000-07:00

......It is a historical fact, albeit a little known one, that Abraham Lincoln (Inventor of the Hot Dog & The "Sausage Fest" as we know it today) corpse crawled out of his tomb countless times presenting itself in an array of lewd sexual suggestive positions?
In fact, tired of these antics, the powers that be ordered the corpse to be shackled and clamped down to the granite tomb flooring so that it could never get out again in hopes of finally putting an end to all the gay accusations and rumors.
Of course all this did was fan the flames of the fire even more so. Most alive today have completely forgotten about this point in history and even more couldn't even tell you who Abe Lincoln was (a Baseball player?).
All you kids out there interested in learning more ask your teachers in school. They'll tell you all about it providing Local and State Laws allow it.

The Next Generation of Killers

2011-08-07T23:05:00.000-07:00

Decatur, AL. 1988 - I was "working" with my then girlfriend at her brothers country store as the breakfast & lunch cook which was a vacation for me considering the GM job I had just resigned from that had me working at an 80 hr week slave wage. One afternoon I happened to walk out the side door just as these two boys probably 7 yrs old, one white the other black, lit a little red wagon with its bed half full of gas with a medium size snapping turtle in it. The turtle wasnt having any of it and was quickly over the side of the wagon and tumbling onto the pavement. One of the boys, I dont remember which one, picked the turtle up and was going to put it back into the flames before I stopped him. You dont have to go looking for Horror. It will find you.

I wonder what those two have been up to since that time......The Next Generation of Killers

I Live In Sin City

2011-07-20T19:45:00.000-07:00

......And I admit I have NOT been very Sinful. I mean I drink, cuss, play loud Rock-n-Roll Music, Rip Lifes Ass,,,But I havent Killed anyone, I havent carjacked some old lady & then made her suck me off & cum in her face while I pushed her out into the Desert (NOw THATS SINFUL!!) and then going back to my CRAZY Hooker Casino Cocktail Waitress Girlfriend and beat her within an inch of her life because of her little dog crapping all over my rug, and WHEN she screams as I'm beating her "I Dont HAVE a Little Dog!!" - Hand her a puppy Rescued from the pound & say "Heres your Little Dog"....

......And just Do more EVIL like that 24-7

.......I dont KNOW whats WRONG wt me.......... I guess I'm just Lazy....Besides where am I going to get a CRAZY HOOKER CASINO WAITRESS GIRLFRIEND?

Sombody told me THEY Grown on Trees?

I want mine to be a ZOMBIE!!

Bus Ride

2011-07-20T19:19:00.000-07:00

Riding a Bus thru the desert today reading my new Razorcake. Back of the Bus (where else?) The Driver swerved a few times making wonder what he was swerving for....
And Death Got Up & Walked.

\m/ Nuclear Fuckin Skull-n-Bones \m/

PS. I do this for you. (Add Smiley Face here.)

The Coca-Cola Machine American Nightmare

2011-06-22T20:59:00.000-07:00

I was in the break room and had seen him place the drooping, awkwardly budging black Heafty bag into the Coke Machine.

I had been on my 10 minute break and thought nothing of it major at the time only that it was a little strange. My main thought upon seeing the Coke man coming to refill the machine was a disdain for that company as a whole due to their business tactics during WWII:

While families were forced to ration all sorts of goods during WWII, including SUGAR - These Coca-Cola Fucking ASSHOLES were selling product to the European NAZI market and even went as far as to invent FANTA ORANGE SODA specifically for them!!.... Are You Fucking Kidding Me!!!???

So whenever I see anything COKE related I begin to snarl my lip and growl.

This was the case when the Coke Man was doing his thing on the day I was in the break room and saw him put the contorted weird black Heafty bag of "liquid?" into the Coke Machine.

A week later while I was coming to work and putting my lunch in the refrigerator in the break room I noticed one of the trash cans beside the Coke Machine had been moved and a pool of dark liquid that I assumed was Coke was beside the machine. I thought nothing of it as it was not my problem.

Later I noticed the same thing with the Coke Machines in the Public areas and still thought nothing of it mainly because the size of the leaks did not warrant the attention. It was only later as I was in the break room having my lunch and one of the Custodians was mopping up the leak around the Coke Machine that I even mentioned it to anyone, and in doing so learned through this Custodian that ALL the Coke Machines were leaking in this fashion and some more than others. The Custodian said he was calling the Company to fix them.

So when I came to work the following day and yellow Police"Do Not Cross" tape was draped practically everywhere I was thinking there had been a shooting OR there had been an accident. Upon checking into the office I learned that it was discovered that there were Heafty bags of body parts and remains in all the Coke machines. LOVELY

I'm sure you all saw it on your Local and National News that this Coke route man had butchered his wife and kids and stuffed them all in Heafty bags and placed them in the many Coke machines along his route because he was "underwater" on his mortgage and was facing the eventual loss of everything he had ever worked for. The American Dream turned into the American Nightmare. Chalk up another one for the devastation that the greedy Wall Street Jews have caused.

When the guy was taken in and asked why he chose to put the body parts in the Coke Machines he said it was because he loved them so much and wanted them around him because he didn't want to part with them. Oh boy.......I'm just wondering how long he thought he could keep them in there? A year? 2? 3?More?

I guess if we all can learn anything from this it is - DON'T drink Coke products and if you must stuff your loved ones, OR anyone else for that matter, into Heafty trash bags its best to Double bag them - maybe even Triple bag'em.

Chasing the Sun

2011-04-27T20:10:00.000-07:00

....And these are our brightest minds. The Idea Makers, The Deal Makers, The Undertakers in a Perfect World, in a Perfect State, In a Perfect Place in a Perfect Town except for the Street Gleaners that howl down the lanes every hour cleaning it of every foul on the landscape, scaring all the little kids and the unsuspecting....But how could a proper Civilized Society live without them? Rather....

You want more of the story dont you? Well, I have plenty more, but you dont appreciate me. You dont Love me. I can say the feeling is quite mutual.

FUCK YOU

There are THINGS out there -Apr 2011

2011-03-09T01:33:00.000-08:00

Civilized Society is pretty much safe and secure and well protected from things other than ourselves....Oh sure, somone will jog or bike off into the hills and fall prey to a mountain lion hungry for meat and blood of any sort that comes along its stalking lair and then BAM!!

Modern Man meets Primate.

There ARE things out there that will GET YOU. As humans immerse themselves deeper and deeper into technology we get farther and farther away from this underlying Primal Fear and Darkness that has been with us since day one of our inception on this Earth...

...There ARE things out there that will GET YOU.

Imagine yourself faced in an enclosure with a King Cobra....FORGET a King Cobra, Lets say a Rattlesnake....who's winning that battle? Whos dying and whos living to fight another day?

Mankind as a WHOLE - "Civilized Society" If you can call the Animals we've become "Civilived", has become weak...while the THINGS THAT WILL GET YOU have remained the same.....

Matched one on one, MY bet is on the Snake because FEAR isnt runing through its veins....

ITS just living and doing what its ALWAYS done.

Behind The 8 Ball March 2011

2011-03-09T00:59:00.000-08:00

Usually I am in front of it and have already Scored......Time has caught up wt me and now I am behind the 8-Ball...Time does that and it eventually catches up and overcomes us all....

...I'm NOT that far behind yet though....QUESTION & ANSWER Time:

QUESTIONS:

1. Why do I do this?

2. Who reads these blogs?
__________________________________________________________
ANSWERS:

1. I'm a WRITER and I write.

2. People because Animals cant read (yet)
___________________________________________________________
Summary:

I DO what I DO.....IF you Like it - GREAT!......IF you DON'T - GREAT!

Either way, it effects me NONE in the least. I AM NOT getting paid for this and even if I was, what would that mean, MORE money $$$???......WHAT would I do with IT?....Buy STUFF I dont need? Horde it?.......I'm NOT an Avoristic Fat overweight Lazy GREEDY AMERICAN PIG or a stereotypical Money Hungry Jew OR any animal of it likeness in various shapes and forms in Russian, German, French or any other that you see raping the landscape for MORE than it needs and STILL wants more until POWER is the ONLY thing that will feed it. ULTIMATE POWER and DOMINATION.

I DO what I DO because I DO IT.....

....IF you like it then READ on.....

...IF you DONT, then DONT.......

Nobodies making you read this.

Jibber Jabber, Jibber Jabber, Jibber Jabber,...Nov 2010

2011-01-14T23:21:00.000-08:00

It was my day off, the first in days, OR was it months? I couldn't remember....

... Still in a daze and a pocket full of money unknowing what to do with myself, I momentarily came out of my stupor in the MAIN STREET CASINO buffet in front of a plate half full (OR half empty??) of brownies and the middle aged weary waitress giving me fowl looks as others in the background seemed to look on as well. EVERYBODY staring at me. Cooks with tall white hats, busboys, ALL glaring with disdainful scowls on their faces. WHAT THE HELL HAD I DONE THIS TIME? I didn't see SECURITY so it must not have been too bad. NEVERTHELESS, The looks on every ones faces glaring at me told me IT WAS TIME TO MOVE ON.

How many brownies had I eaten? And Why was I eating BROWNIES? I mean I like them, they're ok, 1 or 2 at a time, BUT A WHOLE PLATE FULL and crumbs everywhere on the table and floor, What had I done?

I got the hell out of there as quick, but orderly and calmly as I could and once exited from the place found myself climbing the steps to the Bar overlooking the casino. My mouth was parched dry like a man crawling out of the desert into an oasis OR like someone who had a caked rim of Brownie crust lining the inside of their mouth. I felt weird,.. weirder than the NORMAL WEIRD I normally feel.... 1000 miles an hour of the JIBBER JABBER, JIBBER JABBER compounded by the NON-Stop incessant noise of 300 slot machines all going wicky wacky at once!! And WHO where these people yanking and cranking and spitting and cussing in front of these dreadful machines anyway,AND WHY ARE THESE PEOPLE IN THE BACKGROUND STILL STARING AT ME?

On pure instinct and instinct alone, followed by a gut feeling compounded by my mood and the voices in my head, I ordered 2 draft Budweisers in frosted mugs, a Frozen margarita with no salt and a shot of Jack Daniels and the largest glass of water available OR a pitcher, if at all possible, while faining intense interest in some Football sports channel rerun playing on one of the large screen TV's behind the bar....Run, you son of a bitch! Run with that ball!! Yeees!!

The fantasy dream like euphoria sent a panic over me making me wonder what day it was! Was I late for work? A quick look at my cell phone brought me back to reality just as the now ominous witch looking bartender brought me my drinks. "What had this BITCH put in my drinks? Was she trying to poison me? Was she in Cahoots with the staff from the kitchen giving me dirty looks. Surely she knew them" I thought as I thirstily poured one of the 2 cold frosty beers into my dry mouth and down my throat. I tried to act normal and was wondering to myself if I was. Paranoia had me by the balls, AND Why does EVERYONE keep looking at me?

I don't know what happened afterwards, I just know that THIS is what happens to a man who works to many days in a row in a new and strange town. I know I woke up in the middle of some
construction site or desert Field (How can anyone tell the difference? Abandoned construction site-Desert?) on the far south end of the Las Vegas strip covered in dust, sand and dirt miles from my last memory at that bar in front of all those drinks. IS THIS WHAT this town does to people? HOW THE FUCK CAN ANYONE LIVE HERE? Is this what EVERYONE does?

October 2010 - LAS VEGAS!!!

2010-10-13T11:46:00.000-07:00

I finally said "Enough of the bullshit!!" and after 21 years moved out of the Miami, Fl area. Good riddance to a 3rd world hellhole of a place run by a bunch of shit cowards that floated into this country on a rubber raft. Good riddance to an area that pays its workers a wage from over 20 yrs ago. GOOD RIDDANCE to it ALL!!

It feels GREAT to be back in the USA again and especially nice to be around some mountains and new surroundings. Within a week of being here I found a nice apartment 4-5 times bigger than the one I had in South Beach for $150 less!! And within a week I had an interview with a major hotel "working" at the Pool for $15 an hour. And even though I did not get that job, within a months time I did land a decent paying job with a Security Company that pays its workers a living wage and offers advancement opportunities and stability. This was actually my main reason for moving, forget that I hated the people and the surroundings, I refused to work for $7 an hour and I saw online the jobs here in Las Vegas paid a decent wage.

As I write this (10/12/10) the only problem I have encountered is a dry throat that actually hurt to swallow for a few weeks because of the desert climate. I'm adjusting fine though and this was just a minor bump in the road and ultimately no big deal. Then there was the surly drunk talking cat at the hotel I was staying at the first week I was in town across from the Mandalay that was upset because he couldnt cross the street to get to the good tourist trash because of all the traffic. I'd have offered to carry him across but he stunk real bad and had an attitude to match. And there was the GIANT RAT the size of a sofa that was snuggled up next to me to keep warm in my new apartment one morning. I estimate that it weighed at least 300 lbs and was 6 ft or taller had it stood up on its hind legs!! I thought it was a bear at first. I got up quickly and ran out of the apartment into the yard and realized my phone to call 911 was inside and when I went back inside the thing was gone. I havent seen it since but you can imagine going to sleep is a touch and go situation around my place. I still have no idea how such a big creature got into my apartment in the first place!!

Other than that, overall, no problems or weirdness or confusion for the most part and I figured my way around within the first week as this is not such a big place compared to where I moved from. The transit is alot better and the buses run frequently and are alot nicer and some are even double deckers and provide a very scenic ride. And while I am actually having to pay for a monthly pass and veterans dont ride for free like in Miami, I love it!! I just wish I had made this move sooner.

And so now as I start a new job, in a new town, making new friends and aquaintences, I will also start regrouping the band for its next phase. Exciting times so stay tuned here for more weirdness coming your way from Fabulous, Exciting LAS VEGAS, Nevada!!

Sept 2010 - SPS

2010-03-17T12:03:00.000-07:00

Alot of strange and bizarre things have happened to me in my lifetime. Recently this one incident had to rank at the very top of the list, if not #1 itself. Where to even start??...

...I had to take a physical exam for a License to legally carry a handgun. Why this is I have no idea other than this is Florida and its a backwoods "yahoo" state with antiquated and archaic laws. So in my search to find the most economical place to have this done in the shortest time possible, I made an appointment at The Miami Catholic Hospital. The price was right and unlike the VA hospital, which had a better price, they could see me right away instead of a month.

And so on the scheduled day I showed up and dressed in that silly paper like hospital gown with the open back they always give you and of course the place was freezing cold. THIS turned out to be the least of my worries as the much dreaded finger up the asshole moment came.

For me this is an "Exit ONLY" area and quite frankly I'd rather die than have anyone stick their finger up my ass. With technology today is THIS even still a necessity?!! So as I'm enduring this humility the Doctor, who I might add was one creepy looking fuck with his wild unkept mad scientist grey eyebrows and hairs growing like weeds out of his ears, is probing his finger up in my ass like he's finger fucking me!! I quickly turned around and no uncertain terms said "What the fuck are you doing ASSHOLE an exam or finger fucking me?!" This is when I noticed he wasnt wearing any surgical gloves. WHAT THE FUCK?!

I asked him "Why arent you wearing any gloves?" And he replies "I groom my fingernails and its optional." Are you fucking kidding me?!! Now this was bad enough and I almost left right then and their and IF it wasnt for this Gun License and a high paying job I'd have said "FUCK THIS!" and left.

The doctor left the room, without washing his hands I might add, and a nurse cam in and made notations on a clip board telling me "we're almost done". It was then this creepy fucking Doctor came back into the room and I swear I saw him smelling his finger he just had up my ass. Maybe he washed his hands outside, I dont know. Nevertheless, WHY wasnt he wearing gloves in the first place?!!

So the creep tells me "Ok lay on your back". I comply and he takes the skimpy paper gown and pulls it aside exposing my dick whereupon this piece of shit says (and I quote) "Ok make it stand up for me." At this point I'm like "What the fuck?" and I'm objecting raising all kinds of hell requesting another Doctor because this is INSANE and on and on. Whereupon, "Doctor Creepy Fucker" tells me "we can just end the Exam now and you wont get your Physical qualification."

At this point I was sorry that I had not waited an extra few weeks and gone to the VA Hospital to have this done. Nevertheless, I continued to object stating matter of factly that "I've had several Physicals and NO ONE has ever ask me to get my dick hard!!" Whereupon he asked me when was the last time I had and exam and went on to state that things had changed and this was standard procedure in determining how my circulation was and if I had "SPS" or "E.D.". I, of course, asked what "SPS" and "E.D." And I quote here his response - word for word: "Sleepy Peepee Syndrome" OR "Erectile Dysfunction".

I went OFF! I'm like "Well cant you take my blood pressure to determine THAT!?" And he reverted to his spiel about "we can just end the exam now and you wont get your qualification and..." And for this humility and bullshit I had already spent $120 dollars non-refundable. I debated leaving in my mind telling myself that if I left I could still deduct the expense on my 2011 taxes. Still, I told him "I'm not getting my dick hard for you, you fucking pervert!" And he got up and left.

I then sat up and got off the exam table to put my clothes on when a nurse walked into the room and told me that I was almost done and this last phase was the end of the exam, and went on about how the Doctor was not some kind of sexual deviant and blah, blah and just relax and have a seat on the table and were almost done and maybe this will help and blah blah on and on.

So listening to her female reasoning, I got back up on the exam table but still objected to the entire thing stating that I thought it all to be highly unorthodox and that I wasnt some kind of pervert myself that goes around getting a hard dick on at the drop of a dime. Whereupon, she said that maybe this was cause for alarm and I might have "SPS" which could be an indicator of some other more serious problem. And I assured her that under the right NORMAL circumstances, I had no such problems. NOW as if things couldnt be insane enough, this is when it REALLY gets weird!!

As I lay on the table, she removes the gown exposing my dick and takes one of those "Popsicle stick" things and tapes my dick to it AND I SHIT YOU NOT -takes a fine point magic marker out of her pocket and draws a two eyes and a smile on my dick!! Like I said, THIS fucking takes the cake as far as "bizarre things that have happened to me".

Then, Doctor Creepy Perv, who I had not seen enter the room, startled the fuck out of me as he came from behind the nurse and says "lets see what we have here" and takes the "Popsicle stick" that my dick is taped to and starts jiggling it around and says to me "feeling anything yet?" I replied "This is BULLSHIT!!" and went to get up and he put his arm on my chest stopping me and the nurse has what at first looked to me like electrical probes but turn out to be what I can plainly see are earbuds and a Walkman" cassette player and he says "you just need a little stimulation". Whereupon Doctor Creepy fuck tapes the earphones to each side of my dick and presses play.

But wait, HE's NOT DONE YET! He then says "maybe the "Little Man" is cold and needs a coat for warmth?" and he tears a piece of the paper off the exam table and wraps it around my dick with more tape and announces "There he's got a robe to make him nice and warm". And the nurse has a piece of cotten and proceeds to stuff it inside the piece of paper and says "Now he has a beard" laughing and the Doctor snaps a picture with his cell phone.

OK lets review: I'm in this "Insane Asylum" to get a Physical Exam. I've already had this creepy faggot Doctor stick his un-gloved finger up my ass and poke it up and down like he's "finger fucking" me. NOW I'm laying on the exam table with my dick taped to Popsicle stick with a happy face on it while Guns -n-Roses "Sweet Child of Mine" plays loudly through earphones taped to it while these two mutherfuckers are having a puppet show as though this is the most normal thing in the world and they do it everyday.

THAT was IT! I pushed that faggot asshole out of my way and got the hell out of there dressing as I walked down the hall and out of that place! I've never been so pissed off and humiliated in my life. I'm presently contacting attorneys who will hear my story and hopefully file suit against these assholes. Meanwhile I'm trying to get this "smiley face" magic marker markings off my dick. You can only scrub it so hard you know?! And yes I have pictures to show lawyers and NO you may not see them! Use your imagination = a dick taped to a Popsicle stick with a smile face on it OK?!!

ONLY in MIAMI, ONLY in the BANANNA REPUBLIC! do these type of things happen!!

August 2010 - Into the Void

2010-03-17T11:59:00.000-07:00

1970's baseball cards,
peices of cardboard with random names and faces on them,
most much like alot of us,
not worth a casual mention on the evening news upon our deaths,
Just faces and names in a long long line falling into the void of time.
never to be seen or heard from on this Earth again
Into the Void.

July 2010 - The Human Mind

2010-02-18T20:29:00.000-08:00

Its funny how THE HUMAN MIND works.

Today out of nowhere it was like a stranger had put a quarter in my mind, like a Jukebox, and press selection D5 and The B52's "Rock Lobster" started playing. There was no music playing in the room I was in, so this was not brought on by any outside music - it "just happened". I didn't mind and just thought that it was strange that this random song would just come "out of the blue" like this and start playing in my mind.

This has happened to me before and I'm sure it happens to alot of you as well.

Then there is the sort of opposite of that where a song plays and you think of a place you were, or a person you were with. That happens to us all for sure. Today that happened as well, but it was a spoken word that had this effect on me as I was on the bus and someone said "Greek Week".

As soon as I heard these words "Greek Weak" I was taken back to 1992 or so working as the Guest Activities Supervisor/Pool Manager at the Pan American Radission Hotel in Sunny Isles, Fl. I was sitting inside the Pool Office and a co-workers little blonde haired 3 year old daughter had approached the doorway and said what I thought was "week week". In fact she had said "aqua" as she was thirsty and wanted water.

At this same time, a lady, who was a hotel guest, had walked upon the scene and as the little girl repeated herself shyly rubbing her balled up hand in her eye, with her head down with her chin in her chest. I didn't understand what she wanted and looking back I still don't know how I got "week week" out of "aqua". The only thing I can think of is that I was having some sort of a bad acid flashback at her expense. I don't know.

So as I asked her what she wanted, the hotel guest said "Oh isn't she cute? She wants water." And this was all the cue I needed to run with it and "be me" and have fun as I said without any hesitation an authoritative voice "NO FOR YOU! FOR ME!" Her reaction was almost predictable and so funny as she slumped down even more in her defeat leaning up against the wall almost breaking into a cry, if not actually crying. And the lady, laughing, knowing I was only playing says "Oh your so mean".

And of course at this time her dad, my co-worker/friend/employee walks up and asks "Whats going on?" And the lady proceeds to tell him "she wants water and he wont give her any." And he, Chris, says all serious "Your such an asshole!" which of course just made the situation all the more hysterical to me and I was laughing even harder about it as he finally got the poor thirsty child some water.

Greek Week....Week Week....

Its funny how the Human Mind works

(Btw I would have eventually given her some water had not Chris come into the office. I just like to have fun and seeing peoples reactions as I play the role, in this case - Evil Tyrant - "NO FOR YOU! FOR ME!! LOL!)

June 2010 - The Truth about the situation in Haiti

2010-01-14T13:35:00.000-08:00

IF Haiti was a Horse it would have been put out of its misery long ago.

If the World was a Human Body, Hati would be a canerous tumor.

This is THE TRUTH and you know it is and you CANNOT deny it and IT is a matter of FACT. You know what I am saying is THE TRUTH that you dare not utter, BUT I will:

Haiti, 3/4ths of Africa & other 3rd World Nations that have had eons to get thier shit together are a "Ball and Chain" on the rest of the civilized world. Since the beginning of time all these beggars have managed to do is breed yet another generation of beggars into the MAGNIFICENT & WONDERFUL SQUALOR they have created for themselves...and you want a "Donation to Help them"?

What significant contribution, if any, have they EVER made to the world to make it a better place that constitutes "saving" them?

Nothing thats what.

Its just the opposite as they have totally destroyed thier natural resources cutting down practically EVERY tree in the country. (Look at a Google Satellite map of the Island. The Lush green side is The Dominican Republic, the other barren looking one is wonderful Haiti.) This is the TRUTH staring you right in the face! YOU CANNOT DENY THIS!!

I personally drew the line in the sand and took this stance some years ago after being at a red light and seeing a family of about 8 Haitians in a brown Toyota Corolla literally dump big bags of Burger King trash out of every window of the car into the streets as if it was the most natural thing in the world to do. IF i had had a gun and knew I could have gotten away with it I would have executed every fucking one of them on the spot. IF you dont have anymore respect for the town or world you live it to trash it like this, you dont belong in it. PERIOD.

A donation to "Help" them is sadistic and ONLY serves to prolong thier misery. You'd euthenize a horse under the same circumstances, yet you want a donation to help them? If you want to help them while HELPING THE REST OF THE WORLD, then ship crates of cynide pills for them to bite down on. THIS would be the humane thing to do.THIS would free the world from the ball and chains that they have been and will continue to be.

And what are we "saving" them from? Themselves? The compassionate thing to do is put them out of the misery that they have been in since the dawn of time itself.

Oh did I say something AGAIN that was the TRUTH that upsets you?

WELL to fucking bad if you cant handle THE TRUTH!! Continue to live in your fantasy world where EVERYTHING is roses and cupcakes.

I live in the REAL WORLD & THIS IS REALITY

May 2010 - The GREEN Movement

2009-12-31T21:24:00.007-08:00

It came like a bolt of lightening out of the sky...STEALTH

They didnt know IT had even entered Earths atmosphere until it had hit in the mid Atlantic Ocean and censors had gone off. At first they had thought the Cape Verde Island Ridge had finally fallen off, but it was much more centered in the ocean and moving West and moving VERY fast!

And moving west it did. VERY FAST.

Satellites reported back as it moved under the water creating a huge tsunami wake in its path and then it appeared from out of the Atlantic rolling still west across at Abijon, Africa ripping a path across the Continent and sinking back into the Indian Ocean creating more Tsunami's in its wake as it rolled and rolled westward.

And it rolled and IT was a problem as it, This Giant Globe from space destroying and plowing up everything in its path -rolled across the Planet.

IT was a BIG problem and Jets were deployed with Nuclear Missles to end this thing before it hit the California Coast.

They attacked the "Thing" non stop for 3 days as it rolled across the Pacific Ocean having waylaid much of Indonisia as it rolled. They hit it with Nuclear Tarpedoes launched from several submarines and NOTHING seemed to phase it in the least and it kept rolling. They Attacked it with coventional weapon having used up all thier "nukes" THEY attacked it with EVERTHING they had and NOTHING stopped the damned thing!!

NOTHING Stopped It and IT kept Rolling.

IT was a PLOW sent to save the Doomed Planet from the Humans that were Hell bent on destroy it at everyturn. Its path was predictable and it was panic to MOVE out of its path -Countries and Cities within its oncoming path took note and The Prayer Flags set up could not stop it as it waylaid entire mountains.

Finally as predicted, it hit the California Coast, First the Tsunami Waves and then the actual sphere and it rolled westward destroying everything in its path -cities, deserts, mountains - and then sank into the Atlantic Ocean. Scientist noted that upon hitting its original point where it had entered it had changed its original path several degrees north and rolled on a fresh course for new destruction.

There was nothing they could do but watch the thing and monitor it as it rolled and get the hell out of its path.

The Earth was waylaid and it took the sphere close to six months to completly cover all ground. It was nothing but rubble and the human that remained did so at a complete loss of what was and had been. This was a completely different world. The population had been culled from billions to perhaps half a million.

Those lucky enough to be in the Military and in deep underground fortified bunkers that were not effected by the spheres path continued to monitor it from satellites and it seemed to have decreased from it original size but neverthless continued to roll plowing up anything and everything in its path.

Earth was NEVER the same again as the sphere continued to roll its way around the Earth.....and it was a good thing for the Planet. It was a true "Green Movement" if you will.

April 2010 - The Best New Years Eve Ever

2009-12-31T18:26:00.001-08:00

I dont want to date myself here but Jefferson Davis had just taken office and taken signage of a new lot of new Negro Slave girls... (Add ample Fart noises here)

I was 17. I was "The Youth Gone Wild" (SEE the previous Blog "Beer Drinkers & Hell Raisers" here) but raised, not pulled up like a weed, So I was wild but not ignorant or dangerous to the piont of killing/attacking someone for no good reason, or breaking into houses to steal whatever. Call it a "Controlled Reckless Abandoned"

I was hanging with my girlfriend Fran and her brother and thier friend Derick and we had an entire house to ourselves because Dericks Mom was a partying ass bitch and she was GONE-Where who know and who cares? A couple phone calls and the cars of people started piling in with beer,beer and MORE BEER.

I remember at one piont being in Dericks bed room (what would have been the living room, never to GO IN in my Christain Prick upraising household) with a black light on, and just jamming out LOUD to AC/DC's Highway to Hell album and girls walking in the front door hugging and kissing me wishing me a HAPPY NEW YEAR as my freind Tim just stood there and watched taking it all in..... Hell YEAH! I was happy with a cold Budweiser and some fucking AC/DC KICKASS Rock-n-Roll and the icing on the cake was ALL THIS!!

The BEST New Years Eve ever based soley on the innocence of my youth, the freedom, the music, being surrounded by friends and attractive girls that didnt go to my school (and some that did that kissed me hard on the lips pissing off thier boyfriends - yeah that'll DO IT everytime!! LOL!!)

I remember as the Party when on into the night well after the entrance of the New Year, the crowd thinned and even my friend Tim who had drove to the Party had gone home, as did my "girlfreind" Fran, and as 4am hit, it was a Pyramid of Budweiser Beer Cans that would have made the Egyptians proud! It was "The ENERGY Of Youth" and up ALL NIGHT with energy to spare. I remember I ended up in a car with a girl named Linda Gogswell, or something like that- Gogswell Gogs?? The Jetsons ok? And she had a Baby Blue Honda Civic and we off to Waffle House to get something to eat. Kids need FOOD!!

On the way into town I would tell her "STOP! GO BACK!" and she would do a U-turn and pull into a closed Country Store parking lot and I'd throw a huge A-Frame Budweiser sign into the car. Stealing signs seemed to be the OBSSESSION back then. I cant even remember what I had to eat at Waffle House or who paid. I think it was a combined effort to pay the bill.

That we, at THAT young age, were even out out that hour blows my mind now. Looking back now I see ALOT of opportunities to "make a move" on these girls and probably not be denied. I've NEVER been about THAT and still am not. I'm NOT. I dont go looking for TROUBLE or SEX, It finds me...Enough said. I remember I unloaded the "obtained" Budweiser Sign in Derricks yard and his reaction a few hours later when he saw it. What his neighbors must have thought at the site of it must have been them asking themselves a shocked "Are they selling beer now?!" LMFAO!! It was the icing on the cake to what was a great rockin partying night with cool friends all around. It was the BEST New Years Eve I've ever had and if I had a TIME MACHINE I'd go right back to that room with the AC/DC blaring...

Bon Scott we miss you man....DONT STOP ME!!!... Highway To Hell...\m/..\m/

March 2010 - The Best Christmas Ever

2009-12-30T15:29:00.001-08:00

As I write this its the day before New Years Eve -New Years Eve Eve, and I got the idea a few days before Christmas thinking back to previous Christmas's deciding which had been the best.

I must have been 6 or 7 and we were living in Greenville, SC. @ 7 Princeton Ave. I remember that because if I was ever lost, I was to tell whoever it was who found me to take me to that address. I also remember I was wearing pajamas with the feet in them so I was probably closer to 6 than 7. That whole Christmas is so vivid making me think as to why previous Christmas's seem to not have excisted at all? I know there were previous Christmas's, I just remember nothing of them, yet I have memories that go back farther of other things - like being in diapers in the basket of my big sisters bike racing down a bumpy grass hill with the metal basket digging into my back hurting me. I remember THAT!

Regardless, THIS particular Christmas was the BEST ever! I vividly remember getting to open a gift on Christmas Eve and it was a red Hess Firetruck that had flashing red lights that lit up my darkened hardwood floored bedroom just like a real fire truck. I thought this was just the greatest visual ever as the red lights spiraled around the room. Then on Christmas morning I distinctly remember an unwrapped GI Joe Space Capsule just sitting there unwrapped on a big wrapped present waiting for me. I sometimes wonder what happened to such toys of mine. Are they pieces of broken plastic in a landfill? Where did they go? They just seemed to have disappeared off the face of the Earth. Who knows, they might even be stored away in my parents attic. I dont keep track of such things but I do know that such a toy would be worth ALOT these days and even more so in its original packaging.

I dont remember much else about what presents I recieved but I remember I was just so happy and content and it was the best Christmas ever. I do remember though that later on that day the house caught on fire and burned to the ground and we all barely made it out alive and once in the yard recovering from the smoke inhalation we were hit by a bolt of lightening and then on the way to the hospital the ambulance was T-boned by a 18 wheeler speeding through an intersection and once at the hospital I was given the wrong medication and went into a coma and then later while recovering I was almost electrocuted by some faulty wiring.

But all that didnt matter as I had that Hess Firetruck that lit up a room with its flashing light and a GI JOE Space Capsule. It was without a doubt -THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!

Feb 2010 - Spider Monkey Jesus

2009-12-29T21:43:00.000-08:00

It was a great day.

We were all having such a wonderful time at the Barbeque = Ribs, Chicken, Burgers, Hot Dogs, Potato Salad, Cole Slaw, BBQ Beans, Pepsi, Beer,Wine, Mixed Drinks...

We were having a marvelous time and conversations of religion, politics and debating World Matters.

....THEN all of a sudden out of NOWHERE Jesus, obviously drunk on wine, got MAD because nobody had been talking to him and the son of a bitch turned ALL the Pic-nic Tables over and changed himself into a Spider Monkey and ran up a tree and would come down.

THEN he made it rain and ruined the whole day.

What a fucking ASSHOLE.

Jan 2010 - A Birthday Wish

2009-11-27T17:50:00.000-08:00

Little Timmy, fresh out of the well (He had already fallen in wells 8 times this year alone) was excited as all his friends gathered around the table. It was his 11th birthday and all his friends were there including many of his rescuers who had pulled him from the many wells he had fallen into over the course of his short 11 years time.

His mother, Julian Anders or some shit - (I think that was just her stage name, I have people checking on that, get back to me later ok?) -brought the white frosted birthday cake into the room and all the videophones, cams etc. panned towards the sparkeling presentation she brought forth and placed on the table. It was a coconut cake with colorful peanut M&M's decorating the vanilla frosting. Doris Chandler, - (I beleive thats her real name. Again, get back to me on all that shit. I have people sorting out all the names and faces) - the next door neighbor, followed behind with a tub of Vanilla Ice cream as all the kids screamed in delight of the sweet goodness to come. Kids like ice cream and birthday cake like Cannibles like human flesh. Hell yeah they do. I dont have to tell you that. Look at thier faces.

"OK Timmy Make a wish and blow out the candles!" his mom instructed taking away the hissing and dancing sparkelers, handing them to some of the kids. Now given all the times the little mutherfucker had accidently fallen in wells -Thats right I said "ACCIDENTLY" I know some in the community say he was throwing himself down the well shafts on purpose just for all the media attention. However, I have proof that disputes this and have seen the video of him under hypnosis that proves otherwise ok? I have privy to such things as a documentary film maker ok? So DO NOT question what I am saying! ok? Can I continue with you're permission?....Thank you.

As I was saying, You'd think he would make a wish to "NOT FALL DOWN IN WELLS ANYMORE." This was not to be as he closed his eyes and formed his cheeks in a round full pocket of hot air and blew as hard as he could. Immediatly some of the 11 candles went out but he had to re-breath to blow out the others and then the deed was done and everyone in unison began to clap thier hands and cheer. It was a happy moment in retrospect. IF they had ONLY known what was to come of it.

Immediatly as the candles were blown out one of the kids shouted out asking "What did you wish for? FUCKING FOOL of FOOLS! Everyone fucking goddamned knows if you tell what you wished for "IT" woodnt come true. Little Timmy made the motion of zipping his lips and throwing away the key. He was certainly no fool.

(add SLAYER's "Hell Awaits" here as the birthday party scene plays out: Happy kids, the slicing of cake, adults laughing, people filming, dogs smiling anxiously waiting and hoping for some cake too)

Everything was going fine and everyone was having a good time -even the adults especially the neighborhood MILFS there for the firemen who had rescued Little Timmy so many times (MY HEROES!-rapid eye fluttering here) - and THEN, Little Timmy with no indication otherwise that something was amiss, raised his head with a strange look on his face (in retrospect looking back some would say a "POSSESSED" look) and began to convulse falling over in his chair onto the floor. Panic swept over the adults and even a few of the children and the First Responders discarded their MILF action and immediatly dove in to action

As you can see on the many videos and the multiple angle shots, Little Timmy wasnt faking it and seeking attention as some would later say. He wasnt deliberatly "swallowing his tongue" and convulsion on the floor. It was a moment of deep concern like one moment everything is happy and then White to Black and then Red Alert. Luckily, Little Timmy's rescuers where there and they had immediatly jumped into to save him. Party over, though some well wishers and kids on a sugar fix lingered getting what they could not get at home. It was a frantic seen of ambalances and fire tucks and news crews who were already on scene, gone into full fucking "get the story first" mode, and hovering helicopter and blogs "LITTLE TIMMY not Fallen in a well but fallen at his own Birthday celebration!!" Local Channels interupted thier regular broadcast to report the "NEWS". News channels Nationwide picked up on it immediatly as well. IF IT BLEEDS IT LEADS!!!

(Add "Just one Fix" by Ministry here...NEVER trust a fucking Junkie)

Later at the Hospital after Little Timmy had be stabalized and was laying in his hospital bed as well and healthy as a Racing Horse, his little sister Amanda cupped his hand fearing the worst knowing, but hoping NOT, asked him what he had wished for blowing out the candles on his cake. Little Timmy emotionally fell into himself crying uncontrollably as the adults and nurses rushed to his side "I didnt mean it! I didnt mean it" he cried "I was only kidding around."

Scene: Arlington National Cemetary, Washington, D.C. The Unknown Soldiers Tomb where United States Marine Corps Guards have stood a vigillant watch 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, in rain, sleet and snow for over 65 years. Semper Fidelis. Always Faithful.

The guard change smartly went through thier routine "changing of guards" ceremony as they had done so many times before, crisp salutes from the senturies relenquishing thier post to the next brother Marine to assume The Watch...And just then a rumbling sound filled the air. An Earthquke. An explosion of concrete. The ground trembling beneath them. Things amiss and thats when the Guards saw the body of the soldier come out of the crack in the tomb, in fact saw the entire cematary come alive with life.

THE DEAD RISE

The Dead had rose enmasse worldwide and they were not happy with the living. The cheats and scoundrels, the politicians and the atrocities that had fallen them in mass graves, the Greedy fucking Muslims, Jews, Christians, Catholics that had surfed on thier blood for eons. The now living dead were not a happy lot to be assured and they had been in slumber for decades and they were hungry to fill thier empty veins with live flowing blow for a change. LIVE BLOOD not this fucking dirt and rot of a greedy grave that had consumed them for so long.

Some FOOLS witnessing this first hand raised thier arms to the empty sky and praised Jesus and declared The 2nd Coming. In fact, IF they had done an ounce of homework on the subject, instead of blindly believing in a ficticious SUPERMAN like character, they would have seen the folly of thier ways (see The DVD "The God That Never Was" it will lay it all out on an historical timeline for you - NOT some JACKASS in a suit and tie up on a stage getting paid to collect your hard earned money! STUPID SUCKERS)

Worldwide, Tombs burst opened and the dead arose. Italy, Germany, Spain, Antarctica.....THIS wasnt "THE 2nd Coming", THIS was a Birthday wish come true. Little Timmy's Birthday wish of blown out candles of the Dawn of a new tomorrow and vengeful justice of the grave and a new tomorrow.

The world hunkered down waiting on his next BIRTHDAY to make it all right. I'm over here in the corner - thats right pan the camera my way! Thats right thats me (Finger to ya face!) and I'm taking bets he's going to wish all you fucking greedy miserable bastards to THE CORN FEILD & in fact am hedging my bets and lobbying him for the same and watching him to make sure he doesnt wander off and fall in any wells. You people BELONG in "The Corn Feild".

What then? Wandering aimlessly around in never ending stalks several feet higher than yourselves just wandering and wandering around aimlessly in The Cornfield. Plenty to eat and Crunchy little cornballs. I dont know and I dont want to know. We all make our beds. You are either GOOD or BAD. Heavan or Hell. In the Corn Feild or NOT

Becareful what you wish for.

Can I get a spellcheck Beatch?

Dec 09 - Idiotic Fools: I'll tell it like you dont want to hear it THE TRUTH

2009-10-31T23:37:00.000-07:00

It comes in cycles.

I'm not going to lead you like a goat with a ring in your nose back to the GREAT DEPRESSION to show you the promises of Health Care and prosperity for all thats led up to the ASSHOLE RAPISTS of the 1989 Banking Crisis to the Present day Crisis to the next to the next to the FUCKING Next.

You are suppossed to forget about all this and slave like the fool you are listening to the lies while hoping for a better tomorrow as the 1% bend your ass over and your family and kids and thier kids and thier kids and fuck you good.

Call me a lier.

I'll call you what you are A FOOL

You are a FOOL for having hope in THE SYSTEM that promises: Prosperity for All

Are you prospering? How about you neighbor?

I know you dont like to be exposed as a FOOL - NOBODY does. But thats what The American People Have become- FOOLS

Patriotism : Tell me the Fallen soldiers Family feels PROUD thier Son/Daughter/husband went to Iraq and ____ (fill in the blank) and died. Fucking awesome! YEAH!

Meanwhile Financial opportunist were (and are) raping the sytem making a fortune. The message you are not getting due to your patriotic blindness is: FUCK you and your family and ALL the troops on the ground. FUCK THEM ALL & especially FUCK YOU

Thats the truth and its a cycle and its been going on since you and I were born and it continues and disquises itself in many ways:

1. Presidential Bullshit talk = The same old rehashed shit (do your homework)
2. Patriotism - Wave the flag, Go with the flow, DIE & CRY & feed the Military Industrial
Complex
3. Hope - See # 1

Has ANYTHING CHANGED Since President Johnson's "War on Poverty"??? (see #1)
Has ANYTHING CHANGED Since President Regan's War on Drugs??? (see #1)

What are the mutherfuckers Promising NOW?

Maybe I should lead you like a fucking goat with a ring through its nose.

Thats the OBVIOUS.... How can we break this cycle?

Answer(s) NOT PRETTY:

1. The System needs to be purged of the Cancer that is these greedy materialistic turds that have- like remoras- sucked the soul out of the nations heart and beating soul. A TOTAL PURGE of the system.

This will NEVER happen unless the nation collapses.

The remoras will suck the host until the last drop and then they will jump ship and try to cling on to the next host.

THIS IS FACT.

We must identify and KILL the remoras to save the whole structure.

This will NEVER happen because the majority are FAT & WEAK & are sheep that are commanded by (see #1)

Therfore in conclusion: YOU are fucked, Your children and thier children and thier children infinity ...are fucked to be just like you are now - Hoping for a better tomorrow by promises of today.

Just go easy sheep and get in your graves.

The TRUTH that you cannot deny

Short Story of the month - November 2009

2009-08-31T10:49:00.000-07:00

It just occured to me that:

If I cut the head off of my mother AND you cut the head off of yours AND we switched thier heads AND sewed them back on the others bodies:

WE COULD BE BROTHERS AND SISTERS!!!

Short Story of the month - October 2009

2009-08-31T10:42:00.000-07:00

I went to the Doctor yesterday about this constant itching sensation I have in my head. He did some X-rays and said I have a racoon living in my head and gave me a prescription for some bait to get it to come out.

So I went and got a second opinion from another Doctor that came highly reccomended and he said it wasnt a raccon but a possum living inside my head!

THATS JUST CRAZY!! How could a possum be living inside my head? A racoon maybe, BUT A POSSUM?? Give me a break!

Beer Drinkers & Hell Raisers Sept 2009

2009-08-27T18:44:00.000-07:00

I am behind the 8-Ball.... Usually in the past I have had these short stories done and posted months in advance, but lately I've been to damned busy and occupied with other things in my life, mostly insanity and madness mixed with bouts of visiting friends, tourist and other sorts of characters coming and going. Its never a dull moment I can tell you that and when it is: LOOK OUT! Because its only a matter of time before all Hell breaks loose.

That said, as I type this I am "winging it" in between breaks of the insanity that is all around me and my constant battle to fend it off. I have tons of material to choose from but am to damned lazy to actually go looking for it by searching through notebook after notebook for something I like and want to share with you. So lets have at it and get this thing done so I can get back to The Good Fight.
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I was probably 15 or 16 when I had my first beer. It was the summer between 8th grade and the start of 9th grade. It was a 16 oz Budweiser. Every once in awhile I'll get a hint of that "first beer taste". MAGIC! Its wonderful but doesnt last long. Something "science" that has to do with the taste buds and the brain I imagine. If I could flip the switch to make it last I would do it in a minute. Nectar of the Gods. I'm in! I remember my mother saying my Grandfather said it tasted like horse piss and he was totally against it. This always made me wonder if he'd actually tasted horse piss. I doubt it as I think he was a very religious man.

That summer I'd ride my bike to the "Happy Foods" or something or other convienence store and get 2 Bud tall boys and pay the Hoss of a lunk behind the counter, a babyfaced man who's shoulders spread out this far (holding hands out) and the mass supported by these pencil thin legs that didnt match at all. Butch Hobson was his name and I know this because this man would end up being the Offensive Line coach of the High School Football team. I remember his face when he realized that it was me that he had been selling all those beers to. I said "Offensive Line" coach OK? Not Mr. Wizard, you catch my drift? But to give him the benefit of the doubt, I was told at the time that I looked older than I was and even though these where some of the first beers I'd ever had, I sure acted like I'd done it 1000 times or more. Ho-hum. Its called "having a pair" OK?

At one point I even had a fake ID just incase I got carded. I got it from an ad some friend, Doug Heaton had got out of the back of a magazine. We'd go into Pizza Hut order a couple pitchers of draft and for good measures a pizza or two. This would eventually lead to a downfall of sorts but I can assure you - a minor one. It happened one night after a football game and we had ordered a few pitchers and as we're there enjoying ourselves in walks this new little shitprick football coach that had been hired and I dont think the clean cut douchebag had even had a beer in his life and here we were 9th grade hellions setting there drinking pitchers of beer like it was no big thing. And guess what - It was "No BIG DEAL. So fucking what that we were underage and it was illegal . We wanted it. End of story.

(Hospital waiting room scene: Parents milling around with worried looks on thier faces, biting fingernails, pacing back and forth. Worried shitless. Mothers with tears in thier eyes. Finally THE Doctor comes walking out of swinging doors dressed head to toe in green scrubs. He also has a worried and very serious look on his face when a mother approaches saying "How are they Doctor? Are they OK?" His head shakes "no" with a look of disqusted failure on his face and replies "I'm Sorry, your Son's are BEER DRINKERS and
HELL RAISERS. Theres nothing I can do." Mothers fall into thier husbands arms crying hysterically)

I imagine that this must have been the scene as "new Coach dick" spilled the beans and informed our parents we were drinking pitchers of beer at Pizza Hut. The Horror!! I remember my Fake ID was confiscated or some shit and I was demoted from 1st string defensive end and regulated to standing on the offensive line during punts. This was the minor downfall I was speaking of earlier. BFD. It sure as hell didnt stop me, or anyone of my friends that I ran with, from drinking beer. If anything we drank more. I know we did as I had a girlfreind named Fran and her brother was a senior at the High School across town and they were buying kegs. I saw this and said "Hey, I can do that." Now granted this was the start of High School, 10th grade at this point, and I'm waltzing into the local Budweiser distributor, throwing down $30 and a $20 deposit on the tap and I'm good to go. No questions asked. Here's your money, thank you, see you when its empty.

Beer Drinkers and Hell Raisers. I think at one point some bright individual came up with the name "The Seven Sons of Sin". Very appropriate. Once we cannoed into this cove on the lake and came up behind this country store, quietly walking through the woods up a hill, cut the screen on the door, opened the latch locking it and unloaded a couple cases while the other guys out front asked advice on the best lures to use to catch bass or something to occupy the old men who owned the store. Once I took my mom's American Cancer Society pins and cans and we all went door to door in every apartment complex in town for donations which we used to buy kegs. I'll probably die of cancer. Who doesnt, right?

That sure was some damn good beer. It was a short time later that I graduated to Clemson University. Now mind you I was still a sophmore in High School but that just seemed like a handicap. On the weekends it was wide open, especially during football season. I have no idea what other kids in high school were doing to occupy themselves during this time -the movies? driving circles around McDonalds? I dont know? I know what I was doing - I was hanging in the dorms with freinds and friends of friends drinking beer, smoking pot, taking acid, making out and getting laid. Beer drinkers and Hell Raisers mutherfuckers! Are you starting to get the "Theme" here?

Now imagine being at a raging kegger with a full beer or 2 in hand and the person next to you hands you a joint and you realize its your high school "Advanced English" teacher. Imagine her horror when she realizes it right? I remember she had a "talk" with us afterward that this should NEVER be spoken of. I dont think she ever looked me in the eyes again in class after that. It just ruined 10th grade english. I think we told a couple of our friends but it was no big deal and more of her panic than anything. I remember I used to draw a character that I named "Hollywood" in her class that resembled Doonsburry and she commented on it more than once and I gave her a few drawings. I cant but help think to this day that maybe she knew the guy who did that comic strip and gave him my character. Very coincidental and simular to be sure. Whatever.

In any case, there was one bump in the road and it only derailed me for part of the summer between 10th and 11th grade. I was working at a grocery store as a bag/stock boy and the guys working thier before me -Frans brother and Co., had chiseled a well hidden cinderblock in the back wall of the store that slid in and out behind a huge box compactor and was perfect for sliding six packs out to waiting friends. And trust me when I say "ALOT" of beer was passed through that opening. ALOT.. But I dont know what I was thinking, but one Friday Night I decided to go in on my night off and get some "ice" and in addition to the ice, I procured a case or two of Budweiser and was busted by the manager in the process. I even had the son of a bitch convinced that I didnt steal the beer from the store and he used the "underage" card and called the cops. Bastard. I equivilate it to a Star quarterback having a shoulder injury. You just knew that sooner of later the son of a bitch was goinna be back in the game. And I was.

After that it all just seemed like "old Hat" and it was probably around this time my taste buds began to lose that "first beer taste." Dont get me wrong, the beer was and still is good, but that 1st beer taste is magical. These days, to be sure, I'm still a Hell Raiser and mostly drink Vodka and am wise to adulthood and you wont catch me taking the risk that I once did that could lead to arrest as its not worth it when it gets right down to it and I'm smarter than that. That was THEN and This is NOW. I still enjoy the occassional beer hoping to catch the "magic". I'll ALWAYS be a BEER DRINKER and HELLRAISER till the day I die and hopefully beyond in the afterlife! LOL! One can only Hope right? Ya Damn RIGHT!

\m/ Beer Drinkers and Hellraisers \m/

...Damn I dont know about you but that kinda makes me thirsty...(Kinda?)

Short Story of the month - August 2009

2009-08-10T16:43:00.000-07:00

A vacant condo construction site, one of many that dot the land from coast to coast, border to border from Mexico to Canada. The greedy developer over exstended, gambling ALL IN, with a massive amount of chips on the table. And it all came tumbling down like the house of cards that it was. Now its the banks problem.

An elderly Hispanic Security Guard in his late 60's sits there on the half finished construction site guarding the place against vandals and theives, but mostly just sitting there. Its his gold mine, bored out of his mind. He, and the Security Company he slaves for, are the only ones making any money off the stalled project. It pays the rent and by the looks of things buys plenty of plantains and rice that he stores in his bloated stomach. He looks like he's 9 months pregnant ready to explode at any moment. He's full of poison, noxious gas and shit. He will ride the bitch all the way to the end and then be assigned to another job site where he will sit and ride that bitch for maybe a month, a year, maybe more, who knows? He has ALOT of time to sit and think about it. Alot of time that is until his time runs out and then what? The mystery question for the ages. The question that has plaugued mankind since the dawn of mankind itself. And nobody knows the answer but the dead and they arent talking.

Day of the Dead

Day of the Dead

Day of the Dead, we're all just waiting on it

Day of the Dead

Day of the Dead

Day of the Dead, we're all just waiting on Death.

July 09 - From the Award winning Short Story series : "Sometimes What I like to do is.."

2009-06-21T13:49:00.001-07:00

Sometimes what I like to do is scour all the local media and classifieds for "Mini Bikes For Sale" on the cheap, usually getting into verbal fights over offering some ridiculous low price like $5 and taking it from there to get the dirt cheap lowest price I can. Just HARDCORE Price War bidding!!

Then I work on the peice of shit and get the motor all tweaked out and the body painted in a Red, Yellow, Black and Orange "Fire and Flames" motiff so its basically looks as evil as possible and breathing fuckin fire like some unGodly monster from Hell where you can hear it coming 3 blocks away with people looking out thier windows at the annoying high pitched winding out maxed out sound. Then I'll have a few Vodkas and get on the Mutherfucker and just rip the town a brand new ass riding full throttle, balls out through peoples front lawns, red lights, parking lots, sidewalks, pedestrain malls etc. all the while looking for jumps and ramps to hit to raise more Hell and get the most out of the fucking peice of shit son of a bitch.

So its basically "Wide Fuck'in Open" all the time as theres no brakes. The ONLY way to stop it is to "dive off" or Smash, Crash, Burn. And usually thats the "Big Finale" as within 20 seconds or so after I've crashed and laying on the ground, if its not smoking and on fire, I'll unscrew the gas cap and light it with a lighter brought specifically for that purpose. I'll then drag the front wheel into the flames to get the rubber burning that deep wicked evil black smoke and start screaming for anyone who will listen :

"Did YOU see THAT!! That fucking Machine is possessed by the Devil!! HELL ON WHEELS!!! BURN!!"

and take off running down the street screaming at the top of my lungs until I've tired and then I'll walk and think about ALL the damage and destruction I've caused not only to private and public property, other people and animals, But to myself as well. Usually I'll have a physical scratch or two but most of the damage is mental as the scenes play over and over in my mind.

Then its an obsession to repeat of the process all over again with searches on Ebay and Craigs List with questions and comments like:

- Does it go fast?

-What color is it?

-Is the motor bored out?

-I'll give you $10 for it cash. Fuck You Asshole! No "Fuck You!"

....and on and on like that till a deal is reached and I have another Mini Bike to turn Evil and Demonic. Maybe if you hear some crazy winding out ungodly motor sound outside your window its ME? Make sure to wave OK?

June 09 -From The Award Winning Short Story series " Sometimes What I like to do"

2009-06-14T18:34:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when I'm feeling extra creative and want to make a little extra money, I'll put on some old ass 70's mismatched clothes like a puke yellow paisly shirt and a pair of red and black striped bell bottomed pants and a pair of wild "Elvis like" sunglasses and I'll get a milk crate, my Roland Micro-Cube Amp/PA, a tip bucket and a plastic Bucket to drum on with the words "ShoeFro Band" on the sides and head down to the busiest intersection median on a Fri-Sat night, and set up for some Jive ass drumming and singing about the next car to drive up. For Example:

"I'm a medium size Chevy dragging these sad sacks around town. I'm red and Brown and these sad sacks are bringing me down. Give me some money, Put it in my jug, Give Me some money, Its better than a smile or a hug from ya wife or ya daughter. The lights still red do what I said. Give Me some Money!! Give me some Bread!!! I be ShosFRO give me some monies before I be dead...."

Sometimes I'll bring my Fender and get all Really Jive'in and shucking. Alot of times the Cops will come by and try and shut me down and take all my money under the threat of making too much money with out a permit. I try and put alot down my socks and in my drawers so when they come by and raid my moneies they wont be getting it all.

Anyway, I'm not in it for the money but the Jive'assin and shuckin and jukin I do out there in "No mans land" Aint nobody doing what I'm doing. I'm a muthafucking artist and aint nothing stopping me from playing where ever and whenever I want to at any lit intersection median. This is cutting edge shit man. And like I said I pick up a little scratch on the side to pay the bills...

....Other times I like to get in a big Washing Machine size box and and set it on a busy Intersection median and get it it and "spy" on the people with small holes cut in the box. Alot of times I'll get bored and go to sleep and someone will get out and open the lid on the box and it scares the Hell out of all involved. I usually start screamin for them to get out of my house and my yard. And because its a red light intersection and it turns to green -They do, so I always win that argument.

MAY 2009 - Outwitting Larry Law (FTP)

2009-03-21T10:31:00.000-07:00

I have not owned a car in about 15 years as the place I live - Miami Beach, is quite small and everything is in a concentrated place and public transportation covers these areas. Plus parking is a bitch and these 3rd world mutherfuckers here can't even read the road signs and are cluless which doesnt make for an enjoy experience, so I refuse to do it AND THEN PAY out the ass for the privledge. FUCK IT!!

In anycase, I have owned several cars before and as such have been in a situation where I was being pulled over by the Police for a traffic ticket and these are 2 short stories of how I eluded them and proof that brains beat braun:

1. I was driving my black Pontiac Trans Am, yeah the one with the golden eagle on the hood - How embarrassing now looking back. LOL! And It was during the day as I was booking ass coming back from Clemson on the 4 lane Clemson Hwy which has a large grass medium separating the 2 oncoming lanes, and I was heading north towards Anderson, SC. when a Highway Patrol Car came toward me in the opposite direction. He saw me and I saw him. As I passed I saw him slow down and do a U-turn to, as I correctly assumes, to come after me. I punched the gas pedal kicking in the 400 hp engine gaining speed. I knew the road as I'm sure Larry Law did as well and I knew there was a shopping center ahead and I made the split second decision to head there.

It was my lucky day as I had a large head start and there was a tractor trailer truck parked in the parking lot of this shopping center. I quickly pulled behind and along side of it and stopped. I remember I had to bend over to see the road under trailer of the truck and I waited to see what would happen next. And sure as hell about 10 seconds later here comes Larry Law with his lights on booking ass 100 mph down the highway in pursuit. LOL!! "Hey dick, I'm over here!!" I guess he didnt hear me! I waited for about a minute of 2 and then pulled out of the parking lot and took the back road home so as to avoid any altercations. Chalk one up for the "The Skull".

2. I was working for a Steakhouse chain and they had sent me to work in a busy Atlanta store for a week or 2 and I was heading back to SC. at night going north on I-95 driving my Saab 900. Be as it may, I had worked my way into a pack of about 3 cars and 2 semi's and one of the cars had a Radar Detector on the dash and I positioned myself behind the truck and on this guys 5 o'clock eying his dectector.

I did this for an hour or so and would speed up as this guy did and follow him into another pack of trucks. Then all of a sudden I saw the radar detector go from green to a flashing red. I forget the position I was in to see this, but I destinctly remember seeing Larry Law parked facing us in the medium by an overpassing bridge column. I also remember punching the gas pedal and taking the lead position in the pack I was in and seeing another pack of trucks ahead. This would be my savior and I floored it getting every bit of horse power out of the engine. I guess Tractor Trailer Trucks are the common denominator in these 2 stories.

At this point I surmised I was the lead target for the cop as he was pulling out to turn around and punch his engine in as well. So to eliminate this I cut my lights off and pulled ahead of the new pack of trucks and then pulled well in front of them into thier lane, the slow lane, and then turned my lights on and innocently began cruising at a lawful 55 mph. IT WASNT ME!!! LOL.

So a few seconds after I had taken up this new position, I was still worried and concerned that I still might be the center of this cops attention. That was soon put to rest as here came the dude with the radar detector flying by 90 mph shortly followed by Larry Law with his lights on. LOL!! Chalk up another for The Skull.

My take on this is - If you can fuck these mutherfuckers over -DO IT!! I have come to experience these assholes lying, disrespecting and being total dicks. (A recent example for the world to see was the Dallas Cop stopping the NFL player Tyan Moats from seeing his dying Mother-in-Law on her deathbed as he played The Typical Dick having no compassion whatsoever all because the guy, safely ran a red light on the way to the hospital. Hello!!? If you are on your way to the Hospital and indeed in the Hospital parking Lot explaining it, Come on!!) As a direct result of my experiences, I HATE these mutherfuckers with a vengance to the point where if I hear on the news one of them got waylaid I'm having a PARTY!!!. Fuck The Police. In my 40 some odd years on this Planet I cannot think of 1 time they ever did anything for me - BUT TO ME. And on more than 1 occassion it was unjustified. So FUCK these assholes!! What comes around goes around. KARMA bitch!!

Apr 2009 - The Straw that Broke the Camel's Back

2009-03-18T16:21:00.000-07:00

An Alarm clock goes off.

It was the start of just another day in a string of days. He was fond of saying "Same Old shit, Just a different pile of it" and it was true. He had awakened, peed, showered, shaved, brushed his teeth, applied deoderant, combed his hair, dressed and was now in his car and was off to get coffee and then hit the highway on his commute to work where he would have more coffee and start in on the added monotony that was his job. He was a dog chasing his tail: He needed the job to pay for the gas and the car to get to the job to pay for the gas and the car to get to the job to.......

There's an area the size of Texas in the South Pacific that consist of nothing but floating plastic garbage:

A chick goes to the beach in Santa Monica and leaves several water bottles behind instead of throwing them in the trash, the tide comes in and sweeps them up and they wash out to sea and flow with the tide and this is where they end up.

A little girl in Seattle skips out the door on her way to the car thats going to take her to her friends house for a sleep over. As she happily skips, the toothbrush she packed in her backpack falls out because she didnt properly close the bag. Later it rains and the toothbrush is washed down the driveway and into the drain and into the ocean and it ends up here.

Now multiply these incidences and many more x Millions of people, 100,000 cities all over the world x 50 years. It adds up. The styrophoam will never disinigrate and decompose. Its here to stay. Basically the same with the plastic bottles, though they will decompose somewhat into tiny beads that will wash up on the shore and blend into the sand. Its here to stay.

EVERYTHING has its breaking point. EVERYTHING. Take the ruler out of your desk and bend it. Eventually it will reach its break point and snap. Same with the Pens, pencils. Look around you -Everything has its breaking point if you apply enough force and pressure. EVERYTHING.

So as he finished his coffee and set the styrofoam cup down, he reached down for chewing gum to freshen his breath. It was part of the routine and a courtesy to his fellow workers. He fiddled opening the wrapper with his hands on the steering wheel at the 12 o'clock position and as he'd done every morning before wadded the paper wrapper with his left hand and slipped it out the cracked window. It was the straw that broke the Camels back. Apply enough pressure to anything and it will break. EVERYTHING has its breaking point. Planet Earth was no different.

At the same moment that he slipped the paper out the window many millions of the same type of transactions were taking place all over the globe, some smaller, many alot larger. However it was his actions the turned out to be "The Straw that broke the Camels back". Everything has a breaking point if you apply enough pressure. This was Planet Earths breaking point and the moment the tiny peice of paper hit the road the Earth began to shake and to break apart in a ripple effect spreading the entire globe. It did not stop for many years. There are still peices of it flying through the void of space still shaking as the huge thing broke apart and shot out in all directions.

EVERYTHING has its breaking point and this was Planet Earths. It was the straw the broke the camels back......

...."Now do you want to pick up that Mcdonalds bag you just threw down without a care in the world, or am I going to have to split your goddamned stupid mutherfucking head wide fucking ass open? Its your choice and eithers fine with me. You have seconds to make up your mind before I make the decision for you."

Mar 2009 - You need to stop eating out of the garbage!!

2009-03-10T20:18:00.001-07:00

This morning I got up at the unGodly hour of 6am to gradually wake up, have my coffee and head out on a job interview. Getting up at 6am is NOT Rock-n-Roll let me tell you!!

In anycase we do what we have to do. So It was no big deal and I went on my interview which was in the Aventura area, which is upscale, crime free for the most part, predominatly Jewish condominium retirees, and the interview went well and its another wait and see, and if they hire me they hire me, IF they dont they dont. No sweat off my back either way.

So as I'm walking back from this interview, I'm walking through a strip mall parking lot with a grocery store in it and theres this middle aged lady dressed in warm ups like she might be out for her morning walk, and she's standing beside a garbage can peeling the paper off a candy bar and picking the nuts out of it -or something?, and throwing them in the trash.

So as I'm walking toward her I say in a scolding like voice "You NEED to STOP eating out of the garbage!" And she replies spewing her words and shaking her head, clearly offended "I'm NOT eating out of the garbage" And without hesitation I comeback at her "I'm standing here watching you do IT!!" And the whole time I'm walking and as I am, an old lady of about 120 - which is the average age for this area- is walking towards me, and I have to stop so I dont walk into her and I say to her pointing at the now pissed off middle aged lady still by the garbage can, "She's eating out of the garbage!" And without hesitation or breaking her stride the old lady rolls her nose up like she smelled a turd and says "THATS DISQUSTING!!" and keeps on walking past the scene and into the store.

So at this point the middle age lady screams louder "I'm NOT eating out of the garbage!! I was throwing something in it!!" And she hurls her candy bar into the trash and proclaims "SEE?" And I'm trying not to break out laughing and I say to her as she's storming off like she's going to go tell someone, which she probably IS, "I'm just telling you for your own good if you keep doing it you are going to get sick!" LOL!!

I love Chaos!!

Febuary 2009 - The 35th Meeting of The Zombie President's

2009-03-10T19:07:00.000-07:00

"Good Goddamn! Get your crowbar and get in there and Get Linclon off of Nixon again! He's trying to chew his face off for God Sakes!!!"

....And so went the 35th Meeting of the Zombie Presidents. Why on Earth they insisted on having this Affair was beyond him. It ALWAYS led to no good. You'd think someone would eventually step up and say "You know, I dont think its such a good idea that we let them all out of thier cages this year and let them mingle with each other like we did last year because...." And just add any number of previous horrors here.

You Would Think. It wasnt his concern why this was allowed to continue. However, maintaining some sort of order was and now he'd ordered one of his men into the pit to break up an attack. In this case Abe Linclon trying to eat Richard Nixons face. You'd think that the 3 cattle carcass's that were laid in a bloody heap in the middle of the large darkened hall would be enough to satisfy them. I mean #17 had been content and occupied enough to chew his way through one of the cows rectums and disappear into it.

He looked at his list to see who #17 was, most of them, including himself, couldn't identify one Zombie President from the pictures when they were alive much less now dead for several years. I mean for a Million Dollars, could you pick out Millard Fillmore from a group of 50 black and white photos? Most of you would say "Who the Hell is Millard Fillmore?" much less be able to identify him from a picture when he was alive. And so The numbers. He found #17 on the list: Andrew Johnson, and thought to himself he must have been a real "go getter" in his time or just really hungry for fresh blood and meat in this time.

He looked at his list again assigning a name to a number he was watching as it appeared to be trying to give a speach at the podium. Dwight Eisenhower. He opened his mouth and appeared to try to speak as his lower jaw fell off. They would have to retreive that and eventually put it back on. He made a note on the list beside Eisenhower's name: "Jawbone, podium area", he scratched.

And so it went as he watched the scene before him - The 35th Meeting of the Zombie Presidents, specifically focusing on his own man , highly protected of course, fending off several attacks as he attempted to break up Linclons unprovoked attack on Richard Nixon's face.

On the speakers in the backround "Hail to the Chief" played on a continuous loop. Maybe next year, he silently wondered, someone would step up and put an end to this madness all in the name of Honor and Tradition........On the other hand, he - Area 51 employee #666 - thought it was his job and it paid well. Very well. And its never good to "rock the boat".

Jan 2009

2008-11-24T18:25:00.000-08:00

Its pretty bad when Dolphins start committing suicide.

Just recently the actor Jeremy Pivens was hospitalized for Mercury poisoning from eating to much sushi/raw seafood.

Are the alarm bells reaching your ears yet?

This all got me to thinking: What are the Mercury poisoning statistics in Japan, a country notorious for eating everything and anything coming out of the ocean?

Its no wonder, humans have been using the Oceans as a garbage dump since the dawn of time. I remember in 1984 I was in the Navy and attached to a Helicopyer Squadron based in Coranado, Ca. and we had deployed on a World Tour on the Carrier USS Carl Vinson (CVN-70). I was a low ranked airman, and as such, had to help in what is called a "working party" whenever requested. This is a special detail in addition to your regular job onboard the Carrier and all departments onboard the ship have to supply "x" number of men.

So the call went out over the 1mc for a "work party" to go to a certain area of the ship. The numbers sounded familiar to me and sure enough when I got to the assigned location it turned out to be a huge storage room that we had just previously filled to the rafters with these big plastic 15 gallon buckets of paint. This room was at least 150 ft x 100ft and 9 ft high and like I said, filled to capacity with this paint. The orders where now to take ALL the paint that we had just put in this room and move it out to make way for something else we were to fill this humongous space with. Guess where we were order to move the paint to?

If you guessed "Davey Jones Locker"/overboard you are the Grand Prize winner!! Even at the time I knew that this was so wrong on so many levels = the wasted materials, the wasted energy and fuel that had gone into transporting this material, the wasted cost and manufacturing effort and of course the Damage to the environment a huge room full of paint thrown into the ocean would have. But when your in the Military you dont question orders, you just robotically execute them. If you do question orders you are labeled a "troublemaker" and your life is turned into hell and you are soon on the outside looking in. So its not in your personal best interest to question orders. Anybody thats been in the Military can and will tell you this.

So just multiply THAT over eons and its really no surprise that people are being sickened by the things we eat out of the oceans, and that other mammals = Dolphins, whales, seals are dying in droves on the beaches. I mean it doesnt take a Nuclear Phycisist to figure THAT one out.

So what does this say about us as Human beings as a society at large?

What does this say about our future?

Answer: NOT GOOD. Ya think?

Short Story of the Month DEC 2008

2008-08-11T20:41:00.000-07:00

What will we do next???.... Hmmmm. December = Santa Claus, Sweet little baby in a manger sleepy time now SSHhhhh ! QUIET!! YOU FOOL!! We just got him down for his nap, HE's been crying all day and my nerves are a wreck and PUT OUT That fucking cigarette are you trying to catch the Manger ON FIRE?!! You moron, YOU KNOW how FIRE follows you around!!! LoL!.....How can we put it in a blender and whip it all around into some perverted twisted nightmare thats more a tribute to " Degenerate Society @ large, and its insatiable quest for more violence and debauchery"???....thinking. something SEASONAL....... Something Special......... hmmmm.......

Hey! If I wanted to be LAZY I could just say: There's yer Short Story of the Month right HERE. A rant thinking about what to write next wt a Christmas/Hanakah/4 Kings Day/Kwanza twisted twist to make others punch walls and fist and others to roll on the floor LoL......

AND TO make it a MYSTERY I can say:

"Is THAT it??!!"

And ITS 2009 Already?!! Geez I thought we'd all be like the Jetsons by now, flying around in Cars and a PERFECT WORLD except for the Dog Walker Machines...call a Personal Injury Attorney!! LoL!! So that's it? THAT's the Dec 08 Short Story of the Month???

The Mystery continues.............Planet Earth 2009 .....

Short Story of the Month Nov 2008

2008-08-11T17:55:00.000-07:00

It had taken a while but FINALLY I had got God and SATAN together at the same table. "Whats the Big Problem?" I asked "Can't we ALL just get along? I mean, WE ALL make mistakes @ some point! IF you hadn't of made SATAN", I said to GOD "He wouldnt admire you so much that He wants to be you" Just then an angel standing along the wall farted and the tension was broken as we all laughed quite loudly.....
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

....And then, to make things more complicated and chaotic the WORLD GOVERMENT commanded that ALL occupants of Earth names would be change to a goverment issued name. George Washington became Terry Richardson. Mick Jagger became Hank Johnston. Martha Stewart became Anna Marie Charmicheal and so forth and so on.

-What'd you get?

* Bill Parker. What about you?

- Steve Lawton..... Wanna trade?

* I dont think it works like that Darrell!!

- Its Steve... Steve Lawton.

* Oh yeah, sorry. I forgot.

SHort Story of the Month: Oct 2008: LA Food scenes and Trends

2008-08-11T16:47:00.000-07:00

I've been making trips to LA on and off for the past 2 months and on one of my trips there I was with one of my "Bff Jills" and we had been out walking under the guise of looking for apartments for me to rent, and I mentioned that I was getting hungry. So she says "what do you want to eat?" I thought about it for a second or two, "I dont know?" I replied "Mexican. A chicken burrito?" And heres where it gets good. She says "Ask that guy right there" pionting towards some middle aged latino man. "Where a mexican place is?" I asked wondering if she wanted me to ask the man where a place to eat was.

I didnt get an answer but a "nevermind" instead, before she began to walk off in the direction of the man. I followed. "2 chicken burritos por favor?" she said to him. "Si" he said in response and began unbuckeling his belt revealing a lining of aluminium foiled burritos around his waist hanging from strings tied to his belt. He pulled off 2 and said something in spanish. "You want hot sauce" bff Jill asked. At this point I was just stunned. ANOTHER Twilight Zone moment. "What the Fuck?" I asked totally in disbelief? "He keeps'em in his pants to keep them warm" she said handing me a warm aluminum foil log. She handed the man $2 and began unwrapping her chicken burrito and taking a bite saying "mmmmm This is good!" between chews. Suddenly I wasnt that hungry.

I wished I could have seen the expression on my face. PRICELESS. My mind was racing with all kinds of thoughts and I asked "What if I wanted a chicken Taco?" and to my amazement she replied matter of factly and as casual as can be "They got them too." She said "Pollo taco?" to the man and he replied again "Si". "You want a chicken taco too?" she asked. Hey @ this piont I was game for whatever was coming next. "Sure" I said. "2" she said to the man at which point he whistled to a lady standing up against a wall. She walked over opening her purse revealing tupperware bowls of cheese, tomato and an aluminum foil ball of chicken, whereupon she began to assemble the 2 chicken tacos. And to push it, I asked for chips and salsa. She had that too.

I ate my chicken burrito and taco, chips and salsa and it was good. Later I learned from my bff, that this is a common thing in LA. I'm world travelled and I had never experienced anything like this before. I mean roadside taco stands in Tijauna -Yes. This - No. I'm betting this will never be on a FOOD NETWORK show!! If you dont beleive me and you are in the LA area just go up to any latino person on the street, with money in your hand, and ask them for a Taco salad or whatever it is you are hungry for. I guarentee if they dont have what you want on them, someone near by does. Truely Amazing Ingenuity and Entreprenuership.

So it was no surprise later in ChinaTown when I asked if we could get a simular "street" meal and the reply was "affermative". And sure enough when I timidly asked a small oriental man for 2 eggs rolls the process was repeated complete wt both duck and sweet-n-sour sauce options. I also had A piping hot egg drop soup complete wt the crispy noodle topping. And while I wasnt that hungry, I was told that if, in fact, I wanted an entree there were people within shouting distance to provide everything from Peking Duck to Chicken Lo Mein and in some cases a man with a wok set up welded to his bike for some blazin sizzling Vegatable Beef. Again AMAZING!!

I havent moved yet, but I think I'm goinna like this town. I already do.

Short Story of the Month Sept 2008

2008-04-15T18:04:00.000-07:00

This month I am TOTALLY deviating from anything I've done in the past except in our fanZINE that we mail out to those lucky/cursed/worthy enough to recieve. In any case a review came back from one of our Zine's and it said "I was the Martha Stewart of Punk Rock" due to my tips and advise.. LMAO!!... So in THAT mentality and mode I give you the following advice and tips: NOTE: This is the clean version NOT the underground Shit.....and ALSO as I write this its actually APR 08 so 3 more segments and I'm done for the year....see how I roll? And I could easily write them and be done, as I have notebooks of unpublished material. I'm just saving them for some NEW ideas that may come to mind in an effort to keep it fresh and as cutting edge as I can w/o getting cut or burned by its razor sharp and burning cut as we all sear into the future,....

1. Free Concerts: Do you like to see ALL the shows at the local Stadiums/arenas? Get a job wt Security, consessions etc. Find the employees locker room. Stash some regular clothes you wear every day in there and lock it. Now quit or get fired from this job BUT KEEP the uniform. Next event you are interested in show up IN UNIFORM walk as your heading into work and go change in the locker room. When I did this once I had trouble getting back stage to get the uniform and actually had to go back 3 days later and pick it up, even though I actually no longer worked there. I saw several good shows using this scam.

2. Make your own smoke effects: This is actually from : The Black Book of Revenge by George Hayduke I believe but am not absolutly sure (I have fact checkers toiling as you're reading this looking for a definitive asnswer) The caption was HOW TO SMOKE OUT A CITY BLOCK: and heres the reciepe:

4 parts sugar
6 parts potasium nitrate OR Salt Peter
8 parts water
Directions: Cook and stir until thick. Set in 8 oz plastic cups wt a wick and let it set till hardened. Smoke effects w/o all that Great White shit where everyone dies in a fire. For all you avg. Joes out there not in a band, my suggestion to you is make a bunch of these, rig up a bunch of colored lights and strobes in your back yard, light of the smoke and put on some DEATH and if anyone ask "What the fuck is going on!!?" Tell them your having a DEATH concert and them ask them if they wanna slam dance in the pit, But dont wait for an answer and just slam into them and run away and slam into someone else. Get in the pit!!

3. Got a Toothache or a swollen absessed tooth and cant get an immediate appt for a dentist?:
No problem. Dentist wont tell you this because it KILLS thier wallets:

1 cup of water
2 tsp baking soda
1 oz of lemon juice
Directions: Mix all into a fizz, drink and hold in mouth for as long as possible. repeat. Symtoms of swollenness should to start to dissipate in 30 min. Baking Soda and lemon juice is one of the most effective mouthwashes and anti-septics you can use and its all natural NONE of this Listerine Bs. Can you drink that stuff and get drunk? Has anyone EVER done it? Does it make a good mixed drink?..."OH I just love that NEW improved Listerine they came out with, mixed with LemonADE its so gooooood!!"

4. Hungry Hungry Hungry but no MONEY MONEY MONEY:

You: I'm hungry.
Me: Hey Ramen Noodles. .25 cents and some hot water and yer eating
You: I dont want THAT! Besides I dont have any money. WHAT CAN I DO?
Me: Ok here's what ya do. Because this worked for me ALOT back in the day...Find out what time the Pizza places in your neighborhood close dowm. Then 30 min before they close call in 2 pizzas for pick up. They of course will want info from you incl a phone #. Give it to them...They will call you back 20 min. later asking you where you are. Tell them you are painting a couple rooms in your house and the fumes are REALLY getting to you and that you are on your way. They WILL TELL YOU that you'd BETTER hurry your ass up because they've been there all day and they're going out to get hammer themselves and....So they may even call again. Dont answer. They will call more. Dont answer. THey will quit calling. NOW, 30 min later go pick up you pizza. It is in the dumpster and more than likely IN THE BOX along with a stack of others!! I remember once there was 15 pizzas in the boxes thrown away...and think about it:

These people are working around pizza all day, everyday. DO YOU THINK THEY CARE about fuckin pizza??? Especially if its a corporation that they work for and despise at the same time because they see .35 cents worth of dough, .20 worth of cheese, a qtr of an onion or other veg. for $1.25 each extra Topping.... and if you dont dig it,you've always got your ramen noodles (I say it RAYman Not Roman) ...I say it louder.

5. It occurred to me that if a BAND Really wanted to tour in a really really underground way they could ALL buy yearly GreyHound Bus Passes and Go for it.

6. SuperGlue. Dont even get me started. Let me just say this though: IF a payphone OR a vending Machine TAKES your money I feel its your civic duty to shut the thing down so it doesnt rip other people off. Enough said.

7. IF they're giving it away, WHY BUY IT? These are things I do NOT purchase wt my hard earned money as "they" are giving it away for free: Mustard, Ketchup, sweet-n-Low, coffee creamer, napkins, slat, pepper, sugar. I realize if you have a family this might not be practical (only because your lazy! LoL!) but for a single punk like myself: IT WORKS and its less money I spend and more money for other things. Also a reader emailed me that this works for him at the Warehouse store wt the free samples saying that he can go in a basically get a free meal sampling the items they're giving away. Hey whatever works!

8. My Medicare Plan - Go to the store- Walgreens etc... and buy your OTC medication. Preferably a large package like 24 count etc. Then take a few of the pills, get over your cold and take them back saying ANYTHING = They make you shit. Whatever. And get your money back. I've been doing this for years. And I dont get those 24 and 48 count packs of medication. I mean for a family yeah, but for an individual? Who plans on being sick that long?!!

9.You WANT MORE? You greedy fucks, you just take and take and take and NOT EVEN A "THANK YOU" or stories of your own success THANX to me?

10. When Shopping for produce - Remove the stems from the grapes and get exactly what you are paying for. This can be applied with watermelon and other type fruit as well. Bring a knife with you, grab a bag and cut the rhine off the watermelon placing the rhine in a bad to throw away and the actual watermelon in a bag to be weighed and purchased. I saw a guy on 20/20 doing this. LOL!! Whatever works right?

11.Oh theres plenty more, lots more where that came from but you know at some piont I have to start charging even if it is a slice of pizza dumpster dived outta ___________ (Fill in the blank) Pizza place dumpster......

....The crazy thing is that this particular" Short Story of the Month" came from walking down the street today and smelling the pizza shops on Washington Ave.. I had a California roll and some shrimp mmmmmm SHRIMP aklklaklklhllahlkalklhaklkak......I like The Simpsons episode where Marge blows Otto's (I like to get Blotto) wedding and Moe has a arm full of the presents and Lisa says "would you like some shrimp?" and he says "YEAH!" and opens his mouth and then says " Put them in tail to head you can fit more in" and then wanted COCKTAIL sauce poured in.....OH The greed ..... Shameful greed.

SEND Me Your LOVE, SEND Me Your MONEY!!...or buy a cd, a shirt......Nah, thats too much work...Just send the LOVE and MONEY!!!!!

Short Story of the Month AUGUST 2008

2008-04-05T19:47:00.001-07:00

....and there she sat, spreading her sorrow. She had been on that street corner crying for an eternity, before that just in the woods crying her mourningful song....anyFUCKINway, they would come along like so much Flotsom & Jetsom asking "What is wrong?" and she would look at them and infect thier feeble egg shell minds with her VENOM saying:

"The Sweet Sleepy-Time Baby man IS DEAD!"

and she would cry aloud again more and more sorrowful to put it to sleep in thier heads forever and they would be infected for life and walk-off crying ONLY to spread the infection 100-1000-1000000000 TIMES OVER and over again.....

It was a monsoon

Short Story of the Month JULY 2008 : ViDEOHHHH Safari to ALASKA: NuclearFUCKINskull-N-Bones

2008-03-29T18:25:00.000-07:00

So I finally hooked up wt a new Video Intern and as it turns out the crazy son of a bitch is loaded to the piont his brains gone numb on him. In anycase, This person applied for the job and you buy the ticket you take the ride.....And so WE talked video and IDEAS (Which are a dime a doz.) and So you get What you get with the upcoming videos WE will have for you CRAZY people..... Its all about mixing all your passions into one life dontcha think?

Video Safari 1 : Abraham Lincon Bear: You see the problem is getting the dosage of the dart right, too much you can kill them.. too little and he'll get upset that you are trying to put 25 yds of pink spandex all around him or as in this case ABRAHAM LINCLON BEAR.

Black tarp and velcro suit, top hat, beard...just add the ZZ TOP "sharp dressed man" sound bite and we have a winner....Thats one sexy, angry bear... a very distinguished bear...

Video Safari 2: The Meryll Lynch and Mountain Dew DeeRssssss : Again, its all about the dosage- too much ya kill'em to little ya get gored shaving and spray painting "Tide" on the side of the son of a bitch angry fucker.....Shit you crazyMUTHERfucker anybody can kill an animal, its dressing them up and improving them that the key. Oh sure I've killed more than one to eat and like i said, ANYONE can strangle a chicken and fry it.NBD. Its dressing it up in a 70's disco outfit wt platform shoes that makes all mankind step aside and say....GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY MUTHAFUCKA!!!......this is not some FAMILY GUY cartoon BUT THE "REAL DEAL".....

Vid Safari 3: The chase is better than the catch.......Well this ones all about us plowing through the bush getting the shots. Trying not to draw too much attention...OH YEAH Right!...we dont want a permit to kill animals, we want a permit to drug them to sleep and paint FEDex on thier sides and heads......I can just see that one: "Ok can you hold on while I go get my boss..." So its all covert and UNDERcover as the vid shows.

VID 4: Ballerina Bear.....Problems and not enough DRUGS to put on the tutu...

Vid 5. ESCAPE FROM Devils IslandD.....

Vid 6. The "Trip" To the NW, incl. San Fran Bay Area, Seattle, Portland, Vancouver, Anchorage Footage = drinking, eating, rockin it wt the locals.

anyway its all in mixing and production stages. The HARD part is done. No more Cutting out suitss snd jackets for bears and beavers and ANYway it should be available on YOUTUBE real soon plus @ our disgusting site and all the other major rager places that you've come to know and love.....

Work in progress to spell check/add

Short Story of the Month JUNE 08

2008-03-22T18:22:00.000-07:00

Back in 1938 (or was it 39?) No matter, it was around that time frame, that 2 men were setting on a park bench in some un-named, minor European city. One enjoyed a pipe while taking in the scenery. The other enjoying the paper and the fresh breezed being warmed by the spring sun. Neither knew the other and it was random that it had come about that they were there at that particular time. ....

..Just then a mother strolled by only to stop and comfort the baby who was crying. "There, there." she said adjusting a pillow and turning the child, placing the pacifer back in its mouth." The man on the left said aloud to no one in particular other than himself, "I love that baby" and quickly went back to reading the article of some high court Judge caught taking bribes. The lady had returned to pushing the stroller, returning in the direction she had come, when the man on the left looked in astonishment to the other man and said "I BEG YOUR PARDON!!" The other man stopped reading his paper and just stared at it thinking to himself "No, This Mutherfucking Son of a Bitch is not Talking to me". The other man stared callously in the direction of the one "reading" the paper. The silence was a dramatic build of what the world was about to become....Then the man put his paper down and looked matter of factly to the other and said "I LOVE THAT BABY!"...

...The HATE and down right animosity burned in the mind and eyes of the other man, " You don't even know that fucking babies name! I LOVE THAT CHILD!!" He proclaimed spitting his words as he said it, clearly aggitated. The other man threw his paper to the ground standing up in his defense, "I LOVE THAT BABY!! I LOVE THAT FUCKING CHILD!" It was a shout heard all around the park clearing birds from thier roost and alerting others calmnly and silently enjoying thier day in nature. A constible was soon alerted.

The argument went on and on and escalated with manacing and threatening glares "I LOVE THAT CHILD! You dont even know its NAAAAAME!!! " One would proclaim loudly, only to be followed by the other just as loud if not louder... Insults were exchanged, threats were made. Each side very capable of carrying out such threats. Names were named. Identities were revealed. Sides were clearly marked.Names were taken.....

......Hours later phone calls were made involving others on each side. Battle groups were put on HIGH ALERT. Warships were re-routed. Salvos were exchanged on the high seas, Pilots and troops were assembled, briefed and put into immediate action. This was TOTAL FUCKIN WAR!!....and it went on for years and years, battle after battle. A surge here, a break in the line there. A TOTAL outright fight to the DEATH. Retreat was NOT an option on either side as the millions and millions of dead bodies piled up, mainly innocent civillians though.

AnyFUCKINway, the maimed and wounded numbered into the hundredes of millions....When anyone had brought up the subject as to WHY THEY WERE FIGHTING in the first place, One would scream out more as a question than an answer, in this case a soldier speaking in a southern dilect "something about the "Neggards..?" Another immediatly correcting the southerner matter of factly "NO! Its the JEWS!" In the corner a recruit quietly asked his platoon leader what a "Neggard" was, though the platoon leader couldnt quite say outright he answered anyway "I dont rightly know, I think its someone from "The NeggerLANDs". ..."Where's THE NEGGERLANDs?" another soldier listening in on the conversation asked while they all cleaned thier guns to a shine. Others said, correctly I might add, it was over 2 men in a park fighting over "who loved a baby that neither of them had ever seen before, much less knew what its name was or what it looked like, or wether it was a boy or girl, or its mother for that matter. But that was dismissed, as it was just too absurb to believe. Certainly they were fighting for HONOR, PATRIOTISM, and NATIONALISM and extreme LOVE for country..

..the bodies mounted and the occupants of each side sacrificed for the cause....Anyway kids This is how World War II was started.If you were like me, in High School they would get to the end of the Civil War in one school year and the next restart from the Revolutionary war all over again. So NOW you know, THANX TO ME (You're WelCome!) how WWII was STARTED and if you dont believe me, just go ask some old person, They'll tell ya! Go ahead ask your Grand Pa or Grand Ma they'll tell ya too. The Japanese even got involved crashing airplanes into ships and digging tunnels. ...go ahead ask'em, It was hell on living earth!

and in closing, I love that baby more than any of you fuckers. . So THERE....Got a problem with it?

Short Story of The Month May 2008

2008-03-01T11:55:00.000-08:00

To them it was just another "situation". Full blown peckerheads in "full-on operational mode". Peacocks dressed up for the parade. They had NEVER seen the likes of him. But he would show them.

Now completely "barracaded" in the house, he decided it was time to let two of his hostages go. All part of the plan.

They had the place completely surrounded. 4 officers down :) They had him cornered with nowhere to go. There was NOWAY he was getting out of this one alive. And then two hostages came running out of the house. Then two more and finally, the last. It was time to move in and take this fucker out!!

He had planned this for years. The tunnels, the explosives, the carnage, The DEATH, the destruction. Yep, he was a man with a plan.

They moved in. He watched them. They cleared one room and then another. He patiently watched them on his laptop. They cleared the house and no-one was to be found. They even did an infrared and NOTHING except a mouse in a wall . The house was empty. He watched them as they investigated the crime scene as they got more and more comfortable. And thats when he hit the switch.

They thought they were in charge. They always do. He had lured as many of the peices of shit into the house as he could. Rats in a trap. And then he hit the switch.

"oh my Gaa..." was the lead sound bite on CNN from the reporter who HAD BEEN on the scene, now several hours dead and vaporized, as the entire house exploded in a ball of flame and the cameras went dead and the studio bitch panned in with her talking head. He watched the tv as he casually sipped his coffee saying to no-one in particular "Thats just terrible".

He hated cops. No, you SHUT THE FUCK UP!! You hate cops because you got a speeding ticket because you were speeding. He had endured years of thier bullshit. Give a man a badge and watch as the heads roll. Yeah, they had fucked him over good on more than one occassion. They really showed him who was boss. He veiwed them as nothing more than "high School chump bullies" and now he dealt with them as such.

He had stood deep in thier den of snakes and iniquity and fought them with venemous anarchy. He spit venom. They hated it. He put his coffee down and turned and left the diner.

He watched them as they went through the rubble. They had eventually found the caved in tunnel. It took them 8 months to figure that one out and even then if it had not been for some bitch with her dog tied to the sagging telephone pole to tip them off they otherwise would still be scratching thier heads.

Yes, he watched them as they held thier Scottish bagpipes blowing a sorrowful mournful tune. Weepy whiney. Boo fuckin whoo and a river of tears and all that bullshit. He laughed so hard he almost cried himself!! A fucking deluge it was. A freakin waterfall!! So many "heroes" lost. How many was it at last count not including the families loss and broken hearts and total devestation?

ANSWER: The VENGEFUL LEGIONS never started counting from the very start so take your fucking guess....Alpha...Omega....get you some. :)

Short Story of The Month APRIL 2008

2008-03-01T11:49:00.000-08:00

It was a mammoth smoking steaming machine that you could see from outterspace. Gargantuous.

People came from miles and miles around just to pay 25 cents to stick thier genitails inside it. ORGASMATRON. The ULTIMATE. FINAL. COMPLETE!! We can ALL die NOW!

And like salmon swimming upstream they came, most blowing thier load pre-maturely, others rithing and convolsing in the grips of it.....

...they lined up for miles and miles, as far as the naked technologically advanced eye could see...ORGASMAfuckinTRON.

March 2008 Short story of the Month

2008-02-11T15:10:00.000-08:00

She thought she knew him well enough to invite him over to her apartment. There previous dates had gone well enough and of course there was that time she had spent the night at his place. So she invited him over.

Things had started off well enough with dinner and a movie and they had gone back to her place and had settled into the couch and had decided on a movie to watch. She had gotten up to go into the kitchen to make some popcorn, the proper way - NOT that microwave stuff, and it was then that things took a turn for the worst.

He had'nt seen them marching down the hall as he was pre-occupied with getting a sports score on the tv before setting up the movie. He didnt notice them until they were on him, and even then he didnt fully realize what was happening.

They covered his eyes, his mouth and his nose. He couldnt breath and struggled against his attackers as one went for his throat wrapping around it as he fell to the floor. "Dont you fuck with our pussy mutherfucker!! That pussy is ours you peice of shit!! Dont even think about it!!"

"Whats that?" she said popping her head out of the kitchen. It was then she saw one of his legs kicking and went into the living room to see what he was doing and thats when she saw him. The fucking pervert was bathing in her underwear. To be specific her panties and thongs! The fucker had them on his face, wrapped around his neck literally rolling around on the floor with them. ALL OF THEM!! You think you know a person! This was DEFINATLY a deal breaker.

How did he get them so fast? she wondered, or for that matter, how did he even know which room was hers, let alone which drawer she kept them in? The entire thing was VERY disturbing. No matter she wouldnt be seeing that fucking creep again. What a perv!!

Later, as the panties had been gently folded and placed back in the drawer, they began to argue loudly again as to who would be ontop of one of the 3 piles, thus increasing the chances of being chosen. And then, as always, the ensuing fight. It was a "pantie free for all" and there could only be on winner.

Side note: Ladies, this is why you should, on a regular basis, say twice a month, empty your panty drawer and give them a good thrashing - just to keep them in line. Or you can have your man "spank them up" wt you in them. Either way, you gotta let'em know whos boss.

Short Story of the Month Feb 2008

2007-12-14T11:37:00.000-08:00

Standing over her fathers writhing maggot filled rotting corpse, he asked her to marry him for the six hundreth and sixty-sixth time. Just then, a rattlesnake crawled into the cavity of the skull's eye socket startling a spider that ran out of the other eye. Fer all you youngins out thar, thatswhere little skull babies come from.......

Short Story of the Month Jan 2008

2007-12-08T11:32:00.000-08:00

The Gods laughed at him.
They laughed at all of them BUT especially HIM.
It was hilareous to them as he saved and recycled every, and I do mean, everything that came his way. Aluminium and steel cans, plastic bottles, cardboard boxes. He drove his family crazy with his "green"efforts to save the planet.
Anyway as the gods laughed at him, much to thier surprise a huge meteriod came out of nowhere (and I do mean NOWHERE) and hit the doomed planet shattering it into peices smaller than grains of sand.
The next day, for the first time since time itself, The Angel of Death took a day off. As a matter of fact things were so slow that he put up a "going out of business" sign and took an extended vacation.
The Gods pondered where the thing had come from, as they had nothing else to laugh at.

Short Story of the Month DEC 2007

2007-11-13T10:30:00.000-08:00

This Month I am going to deviate from the normal short fictional story and do a "CONCERT Moments" (which I usally save for the zine/newsletter I put out to those fortunate few who I decide worthy enough to recieve such) this time around we have " SLAYER 2005 "

Downtown FT Lauderdale: Club Revelution?? The Culture Room???Who knows? The names change so much...it was probably the first and it was an up close intimate setting. Hell yeah People!! SLAAAAAAAYYYERRRRRRR!!! In your faces!!

I took the bus from Miami Beach to Ft. Lauderdale and started off by spewing a 7-up all over this lady setting beside me as I mixed a 7 and 7. I usally dont make these kinds of mistakes and I was surprised that I did and more surprised in the reaction, or should I say, "non-reaction" of the lady, because I really sprayed her good and she didnt say shit. Sorry.

I had 2 tickets for the show. One for myself and one for a "freind of a freind" who said he would drive and in return, I'd give him the ticket for his effort. But again, what these mutherfucking people here in Miami say they are going to do, and what they actually do are 2 very diffrent things. I grew up in South Carolina and I swear, I have never encountered such shit talking mutherfuckers as here in S. Fl in my life!!! If you EVER have ANY dealings with these shcmucks just assume anything and everything they say is a flat out lie. This will save yourself alot of aggrivation in the long run. So I was stuck with a ticket thanks to a "sack of fat lard" who was too lazy to go see a Slayer Show. And this is the shit that plauges the landscape for miles and miles....you DONT wanna live here TRUST ME ON THAT ONE!!!

I could have asked this chick from Switzerland who was visiting relitives at the place I was working at the time (they even suggested I ask her)BUT she didnt speak very much english and I didnt want to be bothered with it. Its call "Total Fucking Freedom" and I like it. So there I was going to the show by myself and by the time I reached the venue I was fucked up and did not want to bother with selling the extra ticket so I just ripped in up.

Outside the venue I remember it raining very hard and I was standing, I shit you NOT- knee deep in water by the Slayer tour bus slamming beers before entering the place. Once inside the crowd had to endure FEAR FACTORY before the REAL show started and when it did: WOW!!!
Same thing you hear on the cd's but LOUDER. The light show was awesome with the reds coming in on que and the cool disorienting white strobes. I was in the balcony and had a perfect veiw of the pit as well as the stage. Several times people jumped from the balcony into the pit, pretty funny watching that. Then Tom was screaming "What song do you wanna hear?" and unbeleivably above the crowd my voice was heard screaming "GEMINI!!! Master of demise, I am your souls salvation thats where my kingdom lies!" and what song do they play? You ask, you recieve. By this time I was by the speakers and was up against it "full on" with my ear right up to one of the speakers and my whole body consumed by the music. (I DEFINATLY got my moneys worth!!) Folks, you can get much closer to SLAYER than that. I mean you could probably climb on one of thier backs while they were playing but the sound wouldnt be as loud.

An Excellent show!! At one piont though some "dick" had come and wedged himself between me and the speaker to keep me off it and we had a "stare down" but no blows ever came about. After the show I decided to go to the beach and crash and ended up walking for miles and miles and still NEVER found the beach!! Finally I crashed for an hour or two in an office doorway across from the library downtown before retracing my steps back to the bus depot. I remember thinking how SLAYER was more than likely on thier tour bus on the way to their next gig in "HOTlanta" IN & OUT, and what a killer job that must be. A fine tuned business doing there own thing NOT comprimising for shit! That is one thing I definatly respect about that band = Finger to the face of the status quo. I also remember the next day how my whole entire body ached from taking elbows, po-go-ing and withstanding the wild crowd on the fringes of the massive pit. Imagine how they felt the morning after. A good time was had by all and a fucking 10 out of 10!!! If you ever get a chance to see these guys live DO IT!!! You wont regret it.

NEW!!! Short Story of the month NOV 2007

2007-10-16T10:26:00.000-07:00

Big Man with a Badge

They lived life on the cutting edge, which is why they were so successful to begin with. They were always going here or there, always doing something or another. Some who knew them wondered aloud if they ever slept, which of course they did by "Power-Napping" while enroute to here and there and back. In anycase, despite their power and wealth they experienced everyday problems just like you and I, and today the problem was the kitchen sink which is why they were standing there in thier kitchen handing the plumber two crisp $100 bills and explaining if anymore money was required that Little Johnny in the other room playing video games would take care of it. By the time the plumber looked into the other room and looked back, they were a cloud of dust speeding out of the driveway on the cutting edge of life.

"This is no way to raise a kid" the plumber thought to himself. "Hey kid, you here by yourself?" he asked taking a few steps towards the kid playing a video game on the large flat screen TV. Without any hesitation Little Johnny repiled "Just fix the sink dick! I'm playing a game here, dont bother me!" If the plumber was irrate before, he was fuming now. "This kid has no respect for adults" he thought, "why if HIS kid were to talk to an adult like that he'd beat him half to death and banish him to his room for a year or more with bread and water just like his father had done to him and his father to his son and....a side note here people: If your hired to do a job, DO THE FUCKING JOB, get the money, leave and repeat. Is it that hard?

So the plummer called the police. No kid was goinna talk to him like that and he'd show the richy rich parents a thing or two about how to raise a kid the right way. Fucking rich assholes. So ten minutes later the cops show up and they're in the kitchen and he's explaining to them the situation. As this scene was going down, Johnnys big brother was watching the entire thing play out on the monitor beside his computer screen. Its what he was being paid to do by his parents.
And he watched listening in on the conversation playing out. Just then one of the cops walked into the Tv room where Little Johnny, now with headphones on, slayed the endless space soldiers coming at him on the new Halo game. "Hey kid, you here by yourself?" the cop asked; and of course he did not hear him, so the cop walked over to him and grabbed him hard by the arm intentionally digging his fingers into his flesh "little fuckin shit" he mumbled under his breath.

Seeing this, Little Johnnys brother got up from his computer and walked into the tv room. "Get your hands off him! He said in a commanding voice that totally shocked the unsuspecting cop, "and you" he said pionting at the plummer "get your fat ass over to the sink and fix it like you were paid to do!" The cop let go of Little Johnny and took a step towards his brother "Who are you?!" he asked. "I'm his brother and I'm 19 and everything is under control here and if this fat ass" he said pionting at the plummer who was still standing there taking the scene in, "would have just done the job he was paid to do and minded his own business you wouldn't be wasting everybodies time..... the fact of the matter was, THEY WERE WASTING HIS TIME as he had been on the computer with a Japaneses client outfitting an entire office complex with furnishings. By the age of 12 he'd made his first million selling office chairs, which was more than the two cops, the plummer and thier respective parents had made, combined, in thier entire lives....."Now LEAVE!" he screamed. All three of the men thought the same thing at once "what a little fucking shit!" He turned and walked away looking over his shoulder at the cop who was now walking towards him. AND THEN HE RAN.....

Meanwhile the A200 Security system had been monitoring the heart rate of all the occupants of the house, but was specifically tracking the "intruders" with weapons. The system identified the armed intruders as wearing police uniforms but the system, when it was installed, had been purposley programmed to over-ride, as any shcmuck can dress up like the police. The weapons system had been activated and was in fact targeting the two armed intruders......AND THEN HE RAN......As soon as the system detected panic in Little Jonhny's brother, the weapons system engaged placing two 45 caliber slugs in each of the Police Officers heads and they both hit the floor simultaniously and began bleeding a large pool of blood. Call the maid. Then The A200, as programmed, activated the 911 system and disengaged the weapons system. Within 10 minutes several more Police cars were on scene and you know what would have happened if the weapons system had not self engaged. Maybe next time. You know I can kill a million fucking shit cops on paper and theres not a fucking thing you, or anyone else can do about it but SUCK ON IT!! If you dont like it DONT READ IT!! Its as simple as that.

And you know what else?... I'll tell you: Everytime one of the fucks gets layed down in real life I'M HAVING A PARTY!!! Because I'm an adult in my 40's and NOT ONCE have these fucks EVER done anything for me but harrassed, abused and pulled that BIG MAN with a BADGE attitude and routine on me.... Like the time in Sunny Isles when the English chicks bogged my car down on the beach going on a beer run. I had called a tow truck and then the Big fucking assholes with badges showed up and announced "You dont call the tow trucks we do!" and with that they sent the tower I had called packing and called there own tower. And the kicker: When the bill came due guess how much it was? Try every last dollar I had on me and I had just gotten paid and there went $650 just like that. ....crooks wt badges.

So yeah, I hope someones putting a bullet through a cops head right this second. Fuck yeah! Die in the street like a quivering run over dog as the crowd spits on your soon to be corpse. And you wonder why people hate the fucking police like poison. Die mutherfuckers! DIE!!

FUCK THE POLICE!!!! for they surely will fuck you....dont beleive it????

Update 10/29/2007:

This was on all the local news stations: An off-duty Miami-Metro Dade Cop pulled over a vehicle and discovered that there was a suit case with $100,000 in it. So what does this prick do? He lets the driver go and takes the suitcase full of cash. Just one problem: The driver was an undercover cop. BUSTED!!! Now you see what I'm talking about dont you? Most of you, I dont have to tell you how it goes as you've been there. For all the rest of you: NOW YOU SEE and this shit goes down all the time and if you dont beleive it just wait your turn to get fucked and then you'll see clear as the nose in front of your face.

Short Story of the Month OCT 07

2007-09-19T09:04:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I like to have a drink or two, SO WHAT? I'm responsible. I',m intelligent. I'm the Nuclear Skull, climb aboard....Is there such a crime as that??? Well I guess there is, as I am now in a shit load of trouble:

I just wanted to have a nice night out and see a show, join up wt freinds... Ok, let me back up here for a second. I've got a used ex-Police Ford that I got in a auction and I had it custom fitted wt a computer that drives the car. If you didnt see the NOVA episode on such then I guess your getting it here for the first time. Basically the computer reads the lanes and everything around you and you just program where you want to go and set back and drive. NBD.

So I went to see the band A.C. COBRA and a good time was had by all. I hooked up wt freinds and we had a few shots and rocked the hut and decided to take the party back to my place. Well on the way there was a Police sobriety check piont and again NBD. So the car pulls over and The cop looks in and sees us all setting in the back and I explain to him nicely that the cars driving itself and its all computerized and completey legal. Well I guess he hadn't seen the NOVA episode either and he begins to go into "Fucking overzealous control freak patriotic freedom fighter (did I say overzealous) freak on some superpeckerhead overdrive mode" and he's screamin for us all to get out of the car for no reason whatsoever and I'm screaming back "fuck you asshole!!"

So what does dick do? Yep, you guessed it, he screams "ok let me see everybodies hands!!" and he pulls out his gun. Big fucking mistake as I also had the car customized wt a "Anti car jacking system" wt a 38 caliber, 40 round ball turret mount on the roof . So as soon as SUPERfuckinDickhead pulls his gun, he's the fine recipeint of not one , but two 38 slugs right in the head. The car, as programed, lurches forward and takes off down the road and automatically dials 911. So all the cop cars are chasing the us now, and again, as programmed the car pulls over and now the cops have got thier nail guns out and they are nailing away.

I suppose you heard all about it on the news, or in your local paper. I was the headline story for a few weeks and you'd have to be living in a cave not to have heard about it. So here I am now, on this chain gang and there's is no Chrissy Hynde in site for miles and miles and miles, just these mountains and beautiful sunshine California Days.........

......Whoa, Hold on a minute. (sound of screatching brakes) If you've got that little finger pionted out and you've got 3 pionting back at you, THEN if you have the same finger pionted at youself (to Blame) then you obviously have 3 pionting back at the other direction. Did you ever think about that?...Well thats why We're "The Skull" and your not. You THINK?

NEW!!! Short Story of the Month Sept 2007

2007-08-23T15:42:00.000-07:00

I was talking to my mother the other day and,..well, it wasn't really my mother but a rat that had got stuck in a sewer pipe grill. Anyway, I loved her more than life itself and would do anything for her. So we'd talk and talk and talk,..well, it was mainly me doing all the talking but every now and then IT, I mean she - my sweet, sweet mother would stop squirming and look at me with her little beady eyes and squeek. Then finally after about 3 days she had to go.....why does EVERYTHING I love run away?

Short story of the month JUNE/07

2007-05-19T08:48:00.001-07:00

Ok mutherfuckers you want a short story, Listen up!

Back in the 80's a cylnder of Ether "fell off the back of a truck" and I piped it into the A/C of a hotel's banquet hall during an upscale artsy fartsy wine drinking event. Previous to this I purchased 12 military gas mask. When everybody went sleepy time the "12 sons of sin" took a bunch of stuff and put a bunch of people in appropriate sexual positions and took pictures: His head in her crotch (poor bastard!), her head in his crotch (Well she is a gold digger right?) and wel, you get the picture. You dont walk into Walgreens photo and say "I want quadruple one hour prints on these please." Well you do if you are stupid (stupid is as stupid does) but thats not the case here.

Ok, Shows over, lets go! Mov'em out! Adios. Nothing to see here, move along, you dont have to go home but ya cant stay here, (Phone rings) "Hello...No I cant I told you Tuesday is no good for me, thats the night I hose down the people I have chained up down in the basement. Wednesdays good. Ok see ya then.) Come on people lets go, I've got things to do so lets move it! Not going to live for ever now are we? Get, Scram, VAMOOSH!! Sianara, sKiddaddle, beat feet.....

Short Story of the month 4/2007

2007-03-29T16:20:00.000-07:00

Long story short: (thus the" short story of the month" handle)

I was working in administration with a Marketing firm and a memo crossed my desk requiring me to hire a black person to equal out the companies quota. When do I have time for this shit I thought at the time????

So being the creative whiz that I am, I sent out my assistant to the hardware and wig store and proceeded to paint the fax machine brown, slapped the afro wig on it and a name tag which read: SHOEFRO. I filled out all the paperwork and the whole thing took less than 10 minutes. Problem fucking solved.

Well, a week later I was called in to personnel and re-assigned to thier department and given a nice raise. It was about a month later that the idea occurred to me that other companies could use this valuable service and thats when I started Scott Personell Services.

I suppose you've heard of it? We have offices in every major city in the world christening various office machines, filling out the paperwork, keeping the records and data updated, pictures, anniversaries, deaths the whole 9 yards. What a great country this US of A huh?

You BET!!

Music Video

2007-02-14T18:10:00.000-08:00

Here is our video. President

Condominium Horror Stories Vol. 1

2006-12-15T12:44:00.000-08:00

Forward: This idea has been on the back burner for about a year and is now coming into light for your entertainment value. This is not payback, revenge or anything else but true short stories about real life nightmares I've experinced working in condominiums. My lawyer will let you know when its payback, trust me on that one. Enjoy.

1. The nightmare of all nightmares

This was old school bordering on the morgue. "Yeah, John Wayne and Spiro Agnew used to have houseboats right there" The old man said pionting to the boat dock, "they used to have poker games that lasted days on end. Mortie Stienberg, Saul Goldberg. They all used to be down there gambling there brains out. But that was long before your time, they're all dead now." "OH REALLY?" I thought to myself. "Was Gene Simmons there?" I asked throwing gas and confusion onto the conversation. "Who?" "Gene SIMMONS. He plays bass in KISS" "Oh I don't know, we had em coming and going back then" the old man responded "This used to be THE place to be in Miami. We had a bellman out front greeting all the cars. He wore a pithe helmet with a feather out the top." "Poor fucking guy" mumbled under my breath.

That was then and unfortunalty for me this was now and I was there to deal with the bones. Her name was Ruth Martin and this was The Fabulous King Cole Condominiums. Well fabulous back then anyways. Her husband would cart her out of the apartment everyday at 10 am bringing her to the pool. He'd give me a dollar and tell me to watch over her and make sure she did'nt fall and break her kneck or get into some equally disasterous event. One dollar. Very generous guy. Shit at least he gave me that!!

Now poor old Ruth was on her very last leg and going more senile every day. What these shmucks failed to tell me is that Ruth did'nt have very good control of her bladder and she peed wherever, whenever. I found this out when I went to take the lounge pads up and noticed a very rank odor. It did'nt take me long to put 2 and 2 together. And these are the pads the general condominium community were laying on as well. Lovely.

And seeing I had to handle these disqusting things, I assigned Ruth her very own pad to cut down on her marking her territory on the other pads. I did this by spray painting the end one of the pads. Ruths pad. She even asked me about it once and I told her "this is your very own pad." end of conversation. No use in embarassing her in her demented state. I mean let the fucking lady have some dignity right? I know, I know I'm too soft, or at least I was back then.

I had to leave the job and find other employment as I was having "Zombie like" nightmares about the place. Try going 2 weeks with that filling your night time dreams. Its the closest ever I've come to working at the morgue. The custodians were finding them splayed out dead in the laundry room. Stiff as boards, faces as blue as a tidy bowl flush. I got the hell out of there and never looked back. Soonafter, the nightmares stopped.
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2. The Nepolean Complex:

In 2000 I found myself bored with life so I applied for a job and found myself waking up at 4:30 am to be to work at the Grand in downtown Miami by 6am (Dont you just love the names that they give these places? I'm sure its quite an ego booster for all involved. Now you probably thinking, that as a Pool mgr, why did I have to be to work at 6am well before the sun came up? As I lay there at 430am trying to wake up while watching the Telletubbies on the PBS, I wondered the same thing. The only reason I could think of was" to watch the sun rise"

The bosses would of course arrive at a more decent hour of 8am-9am. So basically these equated to free hour=free money. And seeing this was not a full service pool, meaning I did not supply towels and the likes, it was basically a maintenance position with one pool and several large to mid sized fountains.

Anyway before I forget to mention it, I have been know to write a prank letter or two in my life. So when I saw the Tellitubbies on tv at that ungodly hour, I noticed that they would all look at the sun, which had a face in it as well, and have a conversation with it. I thought "Good god!! they are going to burn thier eyeballs out!" And this was the jest of my letter to the local PBS "I'm so afraid my little Jennifer is going to burn her eyeballs out staring at the sun!!"

Long story short: I get a knock on my door and its my crazy old frantic cuban coffe landlord jabbering on about a big box that came in the mail. So I follow him downstairs and sure enough there is this really big box with my name on it. I'm not expecting a big box. I opened it right there on the spot to find all the Telletubbies dolls (the big ones) and a Noo-Noo, which is some sort of vacum cleaner elephant looking machine thing and a letter. I took the Noo-Noo and the letter and told the landlord to give the dolls to the neighborhood kids. What was I suppossed to do with them, have a tea party? Take them to the store for a refund? I said I was bored not broke! A year later I would end up giving the Noo-Noo to this little 3 yr old girl in the building I work at. It was a sad day for sure giving it up. Presently I have two standard yellow rubber ducks, a mini orange haired troll doll with a nuclear skull on its face and a Marge Simpson pez dispenser. Why I have these things I do not know. Fortune and Good luck???
As it turned out the letter was from the creator of the Telletubbies expressing her concern about children burning thier eyeballs out.

So there I am 7:30 in the morning drinking my second cup of coffee and dragging water hoses out to wet everything down. I called this "The Water Show". I should have been required to have an actors guild card as this is all this was-Acting. Filling the billet with a warm body. Thats me folks. I might also mention that I was not the only one required to be there at 6am. There were others, specifically this one custodian who I see in the same place every morning standing by a tree looking into a window. So after awhile I walked over to see what the deal was and sure as shit, there she is walking around her apartment naked getting ready for work. She wasn't bad looking but It still creeped me out looking at her. I mean where does it end? The Peeping Tom of the Year award? I only looked that once but HE was there every morning rain or shine. He was probably there this morning as well.

Like I said, the bosses would stroll in around 8 or 9, then would come the lap swimmers, your pasty tourist getting a full days worth of vacation and HIM. I forget what this fuckers name was, and to be truthfull, I could absolutly give a shit, so for all practical purpose we will call him "Dipshit". Dipshit had a severe case of Nepolean Complex. I was told that Dipshit was elected President of the condo board a few months before my arrival and that the position had gone straight to his giant head. The solution was to demote him to Treasurer (pure genius move there folks.)

So dipshit would come to the pool- all 5 feet of him standing in his elevated flipflops- and everything would be in perfect operating order until he'd get in the jacuzzi and it would foam up depending on how much soap he put in it. I would them be summoned from putting on the Water Show and go tend to the matter. And much to his dissappiontment I would calmnly walk to the pool office and get a gallon plastic container of whatever the fuck it was - I'm not going to do an advertisement for the product if thats what your looking for- and then pour an ounze or two of it into the Jacuzzi. Problem solved. He hated it!!

In time I would find out that Dipshit was responsible for the firing of the Pool guy I replaced, who it turned turned out to be some cuban asshole who had sabotaged and backstabbed my efforst at a previous job. Karma Dude!! So as time went on I began to keep the gallon container close to the jacuzzi so that eveytime he did his thing, I could walk a few feet and do my thing. Like I said, HE HATED IT!! At one piont Dipshit complained about the soap suds and I said to him piont blank "Well if you'd stop putting soap in it the problem would be solved!" Dipshit of course went on the defensive, so I said to him "Stand up and lets see what you have in your pockets!" "I'm not standing up!" he replied still on the defensive. "Well" I said leaning up against the wall, folding my arms "I'll just wait for you to get out. I've got nothing better to do." It was a stand-off, that is until he did a quick spin move out of the jacuzzi, almost falling in the process, and quickly put his robe on.

Later in my employment, he would unscrew the bolts to the pool ladder steps then call outraged reporting it broken. I of course would be summoned from whatever it was I was doing and have to get in the pool and fix it. Hard work here folks! Gionna have to lay here in the sun for 30 minutes and collect myself.
Boss: What are you doing?
Me: Drying off from having to get in the pool and fix the ladder dipshit deliberatly broke again.
Boss: (silently walks away into the building)
Me: (continuing to lay there in the warm sun-drying off)

Later on I'd confront the boss with several security tapes showing before/after shots of the Jaccuzzi, as well as a lady with an extremly nice body getting out of the pool using the ladder then Dipshit, at said ladder, doing his thing for five minutes as I'd tightened them really good.
I wanted the management to confront the little fucker and they,of course, were balless and sdid not want to "rock the boat".Chicken shit mutherfuckers.

As time went on there were several incidences of dog/cat shit (I didn't anaylize the shit) thrown from the building into the pool, as well as Heineken beer bottles. (REAL classy people for sure). On the week ends they would be lounging in the decorative fountains like they were jacuzzi's and talking about adults OK?

Side note: Riding my bike around town I notice more broken green glass bottles that brown glass bottles. Why is that? Does drinking this swill in green bottles make you want to throw the empty out of you car into the road? Like I said: Real classy people. Garbage everywhere except in the trash cans where its supossed to be.

Now remember I said Dipshit had been demoted to Treasurer right? Well he starts purchasing all these decorative bronze statues to put in the fountains. I would hate to be a owner and get that assessment fee. And I will admit, some of the statues did look good. However, some where to clustered or too big for placement in the fountains and it came off as "too much" even "tacky"
Around this same time I was starting to feel like a glorified janitior cleaning up after these filthy animals who could give a fuck about the place that they lived. And if you people know ANYTHING about me at all, you know that I do not do things I do not like to do. I do not like radishes so I do not eat them. Its that simple.
So Dipshit asked me: "What do you think about the fountains?" and I told him the same thing I told your previously. I guess he wanted a "pretty lie" and got "the ugly truth", or at least my very honset opinion. I was fired later that day. Thank you immensly from the bottom of my heart Dipshit!!

End Notes:

1. I came to learn that Dipshits "Horse farm" in North Carolina was all imaginary and in his head

2. He had his wife making and trying to sell sandwiches to the workers at lunch but they were not going for it.

3. Dipshit was on an oversight Board of a local downtown park/mall (cough-cough. Doesnt take a Brain Trust to figure that one out) and alot of money had be "missappropriated". Yep this is the guy you want handling the money for the condo. Heres how it works folks:

You approach all the vendors and tell them "You are going to bill "x" amount and I'm going to pay you "Y" which is a lower amount of "x". Happens all the time and is probably happening right now as you read this. You Think? I bet!

4. Hidsight is always 20/20: I should have photographed the shit in the pool and drained it. This would have cost thousands in water bills, chemicals not to mention room comps for hotel guest. Shoulda, coulda, woulda.

5. I do miss the Hotel aspect of this job as it was one continuous party especially when bands would come through town. And there was the horny fashionista from the UK. I miss her too.
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3. "HER"

We were getting calls from jubulent employees at the condominium she was moving from warning us about "HER". I now know why they were calling and so happy. Within days of moving into the building, according to the General Manager, she had complained more in that litte amount of time as some people had in 15 yrs of living in the building. She soon became like the "Boy who cried wolf" and her complaints fell on deaf ears.

And the way she treated the help was dispicable. And they were all afraid of her, well except for me. And this really pissed her off. Fuck "HER"!! She would come into the Pool Office and just start screaming at me and I would literally laugh in her face and taunt her. I wanted to KILL her. Sometimes I'd ask if she needed anything and then just ignore her and put up a magazine to block her ugly haggard face from my view. This of course pissed her off even more. To fucking bad as in: Tough Shit.

And her treatment of the help was not confined to just the building but everywhere she went. As a matter of fact it got her banned from several independantly owned Bal Harbour Shops who told her to never set foot in thier stores ever again or she would be arrested for trespassing. Oh how good this must have made the owners of these shops feel.

So given the fact that bitch and her family were in the restraunt biz, you'd think she'd know better than to go pulling her shit in restraunts. Lets put it this way, I know people who refuse to go out to eat with them ever again because of her treatment towards the wait staff. The word is she doesnt even wait for the food to arrive at the table before she starts to complain. NOT very intelligent. And when the food does come and she taste it, she probably sends it back because it doesnt taste right because she's used to piss and spit in her food. I know wait staff that plain out refuse to wait on her.

And the valets were/are always fucking up her car in some way or another just out of spite because of the way she treats them. Again, it really pays to be nice to the people that are serving you, ya think?

So it was very sweet to hear that Payday has finally caught up with her as they are now having to file for bankrupcy and the Economic recession of 2009 has taken its toll on them!! It could not have happened to a more deserving person. I am ELATED that I dont work at the place where she lives anymore, mainly because I was tired of her shit and the "balless" management not defending me after several verbal and many written complaints. However, the word is that she did not even show her ugly face at the Pool during the 2008 holiday season out of embarassment of the situation. It could not have happened to a more deserving person. THERE IS A GOD!!!

What comes around Goes around.

KARMA BITCH!!

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4. The Balless Cat/Col. Commander the Bloated shit prick:

You have all heard the stories of these "Condo Commandos" right? Well here we go again. I imagine being President of a Condo Association makes these dipshits feel like GODS. I wonder in all thier self glory, they realize alot of people are laughing thier asses off @ them. I highly doubt it. And its a long hard fall from their esteemed and elevated position when it comes. And ALWAYS, they disappear into thier shell and become practically invisible in thier depressive state as they come down to REALITY.....Oh the shame....

This is a Perfect example of such an ass. This pregnant man is an ex-insurance dick. I know what your thinking "How impressive!", I know, I say it LOUDER!!. So this ass is used to fucking people over. Its in his blood as is a strong Military backround. The kinda guy you'd wanna shoot in the course of battle if he was on the front lines. Of course when your this important your NOT in the trenches are you? Hell no. Which probably explains why said bullet didnt find its mark during the course of battle.

I watched this ass, in all his glory, spend thousands on "upgrades" that didnt need upgrading. I watched as the tenants all began to fight and complain about the huge assessments arriving @ thier doorsteps. What was once a "content, peaceful building" turned into a "House of Horrors" with people taking sides, lawsuits being filed. This mighty ass even had the nerve to slide himself into a paying "assistant Mgrs" position. Conflict of interest? You think? ALOT of these asses use these positions to steal funds. I mean you walk into a store with thousands of dollars and these retailers are going to do whatever you want to get the sale. They just caught some asses doing exactly this and it was theft in the millions, I shit you not! So speculation in this situation is in the "eye of the beholder". Its very suspect to say the least.

The kicker for me personally was the day a kid was throwing rocks off the 15th floor balcony. I had reported this to the General Manager delivering a handfull of rocks in the AM. He didnt even leave his office. I might as well have dialed some random number out of the phone book and reported it. So as the day progressed and the rocks kept raining down and no action from mgmt, suppossivly "in charge", I said "ENOUGH!" and marched to the office with more rocks and told the mutherfuckers "Do something or I'm calling the Police!! Someone is going to get killed!!" So what does the GM do? I mean besides shit himself??... He calls this bloated shit prick Condo President who marches down to the pool area and starts to investigate.

So there we are and I tell them which floor we beleive its coming from and this ass says to me and I quote "Its none of your concern!" I quickly countered "Oh yeah? Let one hit me and you'll see how fast its none of my concern!" You fucking bloated shit prick!! What a fucking ass. I've got a serious life threatening situation in my workplace and ITS NONE OF MY CONCERN???...This isnt baseball and I'm not giving 3 strikes. This was "IT" as far as I was concerned with this TURD. You see its all about "The power, The position, The attention" wt these shits. They could give a fuck about the employees. NONE of my Concern.

A perfect example of this is how this mighty "Col. Shit Prick" spent how many thousands re-modeling the Party Room where the employees would eat thier lunches. Well after this expensive re-modeling SHIT PRICK decided that this area was now too good for the employees to enter and everyone was told they could no longer use this area for a break room, THEN regulated all employees to eat his/her lunch in thier workplace and if something came up on your break "Too fucking bad" stop your break and go back to work. And of course these cowering employees are to afraid to object in the least. Except one. Can ya guess which one?

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5. Things I have been fired for or incidences where I said "FUCK THIS SHIT!!:

1. Wearing "Tea shades". That was some old ladies complaint. She said I wore "tea shades to conceal the fact that I was high". Hey folks: You can fool some of the people some of the time, but you can't fool ALL the people all of the time. Tea shades Ha!

2. Night Bellman Tiffany Condo: Fired for standing by a car waiting to open the door for "fart witch" while she sucked face with her haggard old boyfreind. Later on at another job Fart witch would be verbally reprimanded for having me fired for this by her own freinds, right in front of me causing her to leave in a huff (How fucking cool is that?! Very!!)

3. Jockey Club: I found myself at 8 pm on Holloween night doing these peoples pool laundry after working a full shift. Why? Because these multimillionaire shit pricks were to cheap to buy a washer and dryer!! Can you beleive that?! So I went in to the laudry Mat to get the dry towels to throw them in the car and I find the door open to the dryer and the towels were still not dry and I Finally said: "FUCK THIS SHIT!!!"
I threw the wet towels into the bags I had brought them in with and into the back of my 79 Station Wagon and I pulled into that condo's back parking lot sideways in a cloud of dust and took those FUCKING towels out of my Pontiac Grand wagon of a death machine with the fake wood panels running down the side and all, and threw the still wet things in a pile. I was fired for doing this the next day. If I could do it differently I would. I'd throw the towels harder or better yet either leave them outright at the laundry mat for anyone to take or take them out to a dirt trail and light them all on fire!!
Anyway as I can recall I had a blast at the Button South (rip) and even lightly bit a French Maid wt feather duster and all, on the ass on a bet earning a free drink in the process. It was a light nibble not a full on bite.

4. Thunderbird Hotel:Front Desk Clerk. They called me and asked me to come to the Christmas Party. I declined. They called back again, drunk, and insisted. It was only a few blocks down the street so I went. I remember they gave some middle eastern guy a blow up doll and he was terribly upset. I wish someone would give me a blow up doll at a party!! I'd turn it upside down and stick the crotch right in my face and set back and relax. But thats just me, I'm not from the middle east. Anyway a week later they fired me for getting buzzed at the party while on the clock. Par for the course. To this day I outright avoid these functions.

5. Hollywood Beach Hilton, GraveYard shift Front Desk Clerk. It was Gulfstreams Breeders Cup weekend and the town was buzzing. I took this job while working the Beach at the Wakkiki. Fuck! Dealing with the girls afterwork was a job in itself so basically I was not just burning the candle at both ends, but throwing the entire candle in the fire!! This could NEVER work. I remember trying to catch some zzzzz's after work and this chick from New York named "Beebe" fucking herself with my dick while I slept or tried to sleep.

Anyway this man from Argentina was late in arriving and we had given his reservation away and he was pissed. I don't blame him, but this was 1989 and not like today with all the technology to communicate. He bitched so much that I walked around the desk and politely asked him if he wanted to have a civilized conversation or would he rather I literally start kicking him in the ass. He chose to be civil. However, this, surprisingly, is not what I was fired for. So a business shcmuck came to checkout and handed me a Gulf Gasoline Card. I told him this wasn't the gas station and some uptight corporate hag overheard this and I was fired. Later I learned that you could pay the bill using this credit card. Who knew? Oh well, you try to learn something everyday.

6. Tangeirs Hotel: FDC. This was my 1st job ever in Miami. When I got there the owner told me not to take in hispanic people with Hialieh ID's. I asked why and he took me to room 202 and showed me first hand how these people had taken aluminium foil and lined the bathtub and proceeded to have a BBQ. The fiberglass tub was a melted ruin. I can't imagine what the meat must have tasted like with the fumes of the fiberglass. Fucking 3rd world Morons.

My first day on the job a undercover cop car crashed into another car and automatic weapons were drawn, peolple dragged out of the car and kilos stacked up on the sidewalk. Welcome to Miami. This was 1989 and towards the end of the cocaine cowboy days. Anyway the security guard set me up and while he was covering for me (as I was partying with Susan Whitehead and JanetO'Rourke from Chicago) he was also using scissors to steal the bar $ out of the slot the bar put it in. You know what they say about EVERY dark cloud has a silver lining? Well this is proof as I went on to get neck deep in the Pool & Beach business. Also meeting Susan has alot with where I am today with my band Nuclear Skull. She is Rock-n-Fucking Roll!!. (Susan, Get in touch with me if you're reading this!!)

7. The Millenium. part time Pool dick: The lady who hired me quit the same day. So when one of the board members asked me what my salary was I lied and added a couple dollars onto the original agreement. Score a piont for Mark. Anyway I can see why she quit. The President of the condo called me in to his office to discuss why I was 5 minutes late. Now mind you this is another ex-military dick. Annapolis to be specific. So I explain to him that I take the bus from past downtown Miami and 5 min. late is actually ahead of time. This was unacceptable to him and went on to explain (and I quote) "Its like that first shit and piss in the morning, It's just something you have to do." I never quite got the analogy of that and to be quite frank don't even want to try to figure that one out.
The next day I woke up a half hour earlier and clocked in 5 minutes early. And you guessed it, was called to the office again to discuss this infraction of clocking in too early. "Its zero 8 hundred on the dot or nothing." I remember him saying. Fucking Bizzaro World!! I quit on the spot telling them they needed to hire a robot. Fucking idiots!!I want a pt job not drama, though it does make for some good writing NO?

8.4 Ambassadors Downtown Miami. Security. Some lady made the huge mistake of talking to the uniform and not the person in it. I mean she was really letting me have it about how someone had parked in her parking place and on and on. So to enlighten her on the situation I took off my shirt and said to her "You godamned fucking bitch! Who in the fucking hell do you think you are talking to people like that?! Do you like it now that I'm in your fucking face giving it back to you? You NEVER saw that coming did you??!!Well FUCK YOU!! You stepped on a land mine and its expolding in your old ugly wrinkled face. FUCK YOU a 1000 times....." I REALLY let her have it and didnt stop with just that

She just stood there as did her husband albiet several yards away, as not to catch any of the shrappnell. I took off the rest of the uniform as I walked to my locker and was in underwear and socks when I got there. The funniest thing is I heard later one of the employees, who was dead serious when they said it, said "Do you think he's coming back?"

9. The Fountaine Bleau Hotel - A story in itself and a work in progress to do as a upcoming Short story of the month in 2009.

10. And there have been numerous others where the situation was so frustrating with some insane situation or a TOTAL DOUCHE BAG of a boss or whatever the case and I just plain out said "FUCK THIS" and walked off the job, to many to even mention. We've ALL had our share of those type jobs/experiences. The best you can hope for is to learn to spot them ahead of time and bail at the 1st sign of problems because otherwise - Who needs the BS?.... NOT ME!! and I hope not you.
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Management:

1. As far as managers go, I've been pretty lucky to not have been exposed to Major League Assholes.I even try to be "THE GOOD GUY when placed in this position. Example: slipping the main men, the workers cooking over a hot grill, a cold beer or two, during shift.

After giving it some careful consideration though the MANAGER that stands out is:

My Area Supervisor when I was SLAVING for RYAN's FAMILY Steakhouse in Decatur, Al.:

His name was "BOB" and he wasn't such a bad guy, MAYBE the problem was he was TOO NICE? You see he had caught this obese peice of shit General Manager at the Huntsville store stealing money and food from the store. And OH was this peice of work a man of the church Praise JayZUZ!!! Amen brother!..So what does he do? He sends the fat peice of shit (FPOS) to my store where he begins doing the same thing AND backstabbing me!! Real good move there BOB! I'm sure the Money Misers at the Corporate Office really appreciated that . When i gladly left, FPOS took over as GM. You dont have to be a genius to see where this story went. Good is what I say. FPOS was smart enough to steal from the corporation as long as they'd let him. NOT MY PROBLEM or CONCERN.

2. Oh yeah there was This one GM at a condo I was working at back in the early 90's doing , of all things -Day time Valet and he was just a pain in the neck to everybody and I was friends with the Front Desk Security guy named Ray ( an Ollie type character from a Lauren and Hardy film) and Ray particularly didnt like this guy and would regularly transfer the GM's call to me or someone else who were in on the gag, and we'd always answer the call as if we were the GM and always do something weird and/or offensive bordering on violence and psychotic in these calls:

To a A/C Contractor: "You Son of a Bitch Goddamned Mutherfucker!! I dont ever want to do business with your crap Company EVER again and I'm giving you a Trespass Warning now that If I ever catch you back on our Property Again you'll be arrested for Trespassing. DO You Understand me Pansy BOY!Dont call here AGAIN!!?

To Some other unfortunate soul: "Are you coming on to me? What kind of fucking deviant do you think I AM? Ewww You sicking me, you disqusting Pervert!! Dont you ever call me again you disqusting Faggot!!"

I had other Security that Ray had transfered calls to tell me about calls they had pulled on other callers. THis was just the tip of the aggrivation We caused this Prick as we'd go to CVS, Walgreens, and the grocery stores and get those subscriptions cards to magazine subscriptions and fill them out in this guys name and think about all the confusion and the subsequent "Bill Due" and "Past Due- Collections" on your subscription notices. LOL!!

So Yeah, its probably a good thing to be a cool Mgr and be nice to the ones you work with instead of pulling some "Power Play Stunt" Because this is what ya might get and worse. LOL!!

(This is a work in Progress as we tend to attend to and monitor the S.Fl employment subject matter herin)

The Miami Bananna Republic Blog

2006-12-06T11:05:00.000-08:00

12/07 So in the Herald 2 weeks ago there was an article on the front page that said in 20 years or so the entire region would be underwater. OK. So whats the response from local Goverment?

These idiots announce that they are going to:

1. Build a Stadium for the Marlins
2. Bail out the Miami opera Building with Lord knows how many millions
3. Build a Street Car Trolly system
4. Build a NEW and Improved Park and Muesum

and heres the kicker:

5. Build a tunnel for trucks only going to the port

Can you say MONEY GRAB??

And all this is without any voter imput whatsoever.

First of all, at present, at the slightest amount of rain ALL of Biscayne Blvd floods 3 ft. Now how in the hell do these doofusses plan on building a tunnel in an area under sea level? Dont tell me, I dont want to know. And a Street Car trolly system? I wonder how that will hold up in a hurricane?

And this is just "business as usual" in the Bannana Republic. And the public just goes right along with it.

I'd REALLY like to know how amny of these local theif politicians have 2nd homes and an exit stratagy when the water starts to rise? ALL I'd bet.
___________________________________________________________________

Recently there was a Congressman from Colorado calling Miami a 3rd world country,(tell us something we don't already know) and he managed to get everybody in an uproar over it.

The response from the areas career politician Alianna rossanna rossanna danna Ros-Lehtinen was "I invite you to come come down and stay in our 5 star hotals on the beach" I know, I know, your probably wondering why she wasn't manning her "Cuba radar" and focusing her concentration there as she usually does. And you are not alone.

The fact of the matter is, and if this stupid bitch actually paid attention to whats going on here instead of 90 miles away she'd know that a recent Miami Herald addressed the fact that there are no 5 star hotels on the beach. 4 yes. 5 no.

And this is the jest of this blog. I'm surprised several hotels have a 4 star ranking myself. I mean with the wages they pay these people I'm shocked that anyone of the hotel employees would give a shit beyond just showing up. There is ALOT of turn over though you can bet your ass on that.

My personal experience with these " know it all" professionals is one of frustration that I'd not like to repeat. So I don't. Simple as that. But while I've got my pen out might as well expose these fucks and jam it in thier hearts:

Biltmore Hotel, Coral Gables, Fl. (at the time this was the largest hotel pool in the country. BFD right?) And I was in charge of its operations with 3-4 employees under my supervision. It came to my attention that the hotel was purchasing its Sodium Bicarbonate by the week and paying a retail price of $7 a bag. Well having freinds in the chemical business I quickley learned that the exact same product could be purchased in bulk at $2-$3 per bag, AND the company would store the bulk and deliver what was needed during the week at no extra charge. This came to a savings of $70,000 over a years time.

I took these figures to this shmuck named Dennis who was the GM of the hotel and instead of celebrating the fact that an hourly employee had taken the time and researched this I was shot down like a Japanese Zero over the Battle of Midway. "Were not interested in a few thousand dollars a month" this sawed off prick said in all his splendor "when we're billing over 1 million a month." In hindsight I should have gone directly to the owner but really, WHY? Its not like I was saving any money or would have been rewarded for being an outstanding employee.

So where is the incentive beyond just showing up for work and being there? Now multiply this times every fucking hotel in the area and you can see why I'm surprised that they even have 4 stars and can maintain them with the high turnover.

And I laugh at all these high and mighty middle managers in thier cheap suits who are basically low paid dirt workers with thier 60-80 hour work week and they don't even realize it because they are so busy trying to keep staff levels up and so on. Slaves. The story that sums them all up in a nutshell is the retard (I apologize in advance to all the retarded people out there for throwing this dumbass into your kind group) at Turnberry Isles. Now this Einstien managed to give the wrong rental car to a man and his wife staying at the hotel. So what does he do? He calls the people on thier cell phone while they are at a function they have flown in for, and this ass demands that they bring the car back. An argument ensues and this brainiac calls the police. Fast forward to several hours later and the couple pulls up to the reception of the hotel where the Terrorism fighting superHEROs of the day Aventura Police are waiting to put an abrupt end to this crime spree. The man and woman are roughed up and as always, thrown to the ground (thats mandatory folks).

Now would'nt it have been better to just have said nothing and switched the cars when they returned or at the least, send a valet to retrieve the car and giving the man the keys to the correct car. Not here. Not in this pocket of mental retardation. The middle management shcmuck showed them who's boss!! (and now the Mans lawyer will show them who is REALLY the boss and the couple will most likely walk away with a 6 figure out of court settlement, as there is no way in hell they want this to go to trial.) And this is the mentality that rules the day. How these fart sniffers managed to eak out 4 stars is beyond me. Maybe AAA lowered there standards?

And if you have ANY doubts about what I'm saying is true just look at the Sunday papers employment section: The same hotels week after week offering the same low paying jobs.

Pay the fucking people a decent wage and maybe you could retain them and they'd actually give a damn, thus keeping training cost, not to mention having to advertise the same jobs over and over saving more on ad cost. YOU THINK? Obviously they don't and the bottom line profits are ALL that matters so you get what we have here today.

Sad but true.

Then there is the 7-11 on Alton road. This is a perfect example of everything I'm saying. DO NOT hand these fuckers a $10 0r $20 and assume that they are giving you your change. Count your change or better yet, dobn't give them the opportunity to rip you off. Then you see them not using the scanner for the cup of coffee you are buying and they take the money and put it in the register. These people are stealing from the company and the unsuspecting consumer. Why? Maybe because the corporation is not paying them a decant wage? I remember a few years back 2 cashiers at MIA where pocketing $800-$1000 per shift. Alarms started to go off when those in the community wondered how these people could have 2 houses each, brand new cars all the time etc. on a cashiers salary. When the manager was notified he answered cluelessly "I had no idea!" Duh? Maybe your sky high food cost should have been an early indicator? YOU THINK?

You get what you pay for and you see it every fricken day. The rude uncaring employee, the complete and total lack of caring wether they are doing a good job or not. And again: Why should they? I've found out first hand that giving 100% just makes you stand out more than the other employees and you will be the one who is fired because you make all the other slackers look bad.

I'm shocked that there are 4 star hotels on the Beach given the current circumstances of Low wages and unaffordabe housing for the working class.

And this is the way it goes here in The Bananna Republic workforce. Loyalty means nothing. Having pride in your work only means you will probably be the 1st shown the door. It doesn't pay to give it 100% and I'm not the only one that knows this, just the one with enough balls to say it. And like I said: If you can't handle the truth log the fuck off this site and go to Foxnews and get some pretty lies you can swallow down your tiny little chicken necks, because all your going to get here is your tender feelings hurt with the ugly truth.

In the late 90's to present day, the area underwent a phase (especially the Sunny Isles area) where hotels closed down and in there place huge eyesore condominiums were built blocking out the sea veiw for the majority. I explore this more in the blog titled: Condominium Horror Stories Vol I. (true stories from the front lines.)

The Great American (sex) Novel

2006-11-03T13:00:00.000-08:00

This is our 1st literary effort and is available through this site and http://www.nuclearskull.com/

$5 for disc
$10 for print out and art and extras
both include the price of postage ....overseas purchases add $5 to the price of each

This is a fictional account of an adventure to the source of all madness in the world today. Along the way icons are encountered in ways you never image otherwise. Its a modern Day "Alice in wonderland' meets The Far Side.

What more can I tell you other than its a bizzare, an enjoyable read and you've probably never encountered anything like it before in your life.

buy it

and by ALL MEANS, get your faces in front of our NEW video President by logging onto myspace.com/nuclearskull

Short Story of the Month - APR 06

2006-04-04T10:27:00.000-07:00

Recently the flu paid me a visit. Yee-Haa! Eboli, SARS, The Bird flu, The next big booga-boo. Are you scared yet? Yeah, me neither. You have to be afraid of dying to be scared. As our song goes "I look around and I see all these things, I wanna wake up, Its just a bad dream, its just a bad dream, I wanna wake up..." So ontop of it all, I had the flu. Wonderful. In the daze of it all, popping this pill and that pill, labels promising liver disease if you drink 3 or more drinks a day. Who the fuck does'nt drink 3 or more drinks a day? Here's to em' ! they've got more stamina than me.

So in my daze, I happen upon Steve, the ex-Navy seal medic (or so he claims) and the spa owner in the condo where I work, and I promptly thank him for the chocolates that he and his wife gave me for Christmas, (oh I'm sorry "The Holidays") and proceeded to tell him about my current state of disheval, when he suggested a product called ZYCAM. I did'nt know it that morning that I was going to be on the search for this product, but by gaad there I was in the middle of CVS pharmacy on Linclon Rd, "THE" CVS you always see multiple shoplifting arrest in the crime section of the paper and its ALWAYS some weird ensamble the shoplifter has decided to shoplift. A bag of chips, a comb and sunglasses. 50 candy bars and some hair gel. ALWAYS some kind of shit like that. And here I am in my dazed flu stupor in the middle of all these petty theives, and it looks like the fucking circus just got off the bus from a 300 mile straight drive. Freaks, tourist, beast. Complete madness all around me.

I finally found the ZICAM and it comes in 3 forms and its spelled ZICAM. I get the spray labeled mint flavoured hoping for the best as Steve said "the stuff tasted like shit". Mint? I defy ANYONE to tell me they taste mint! After consuming this stuff I imagined some Animal Testing lab down by the docks in New Jersey and to maximize profits they had started collecting various animal urine soaked in monkey shit for good measures. Stirred. Filtered and strained and bottled for the unsuspecting public. ZICAM.

After looking at the label I owe the Jersey boys down by the docks an apology as the nasty stuff is conjured up in Pheonix, AZ. Ok I gotcha, methamphetimines, ZycaM, THE DESERT, MegaDeth, mountains, dust and cactus, that sorta vibe. A filtered ape shit by product nevertheless. Then the effects hit you. Like swollowing shards of glass every time you swallow compounded by the wonderful feeling of a pain in the middle of your forhead like a vaccum is sucking your brains out.

In all fairness To the ZICAM people, thier shitty bottle of ZICAM quit working and I returned the it to the store I bought it from, and the replacement product actually did have a mintish-like flavor. Still the needles in the throat feeling though.

The piont of all this is: I took the OTC medicine to make me feel better. Is'nt this why anyone takes any drug? To feel better or to feel good? Whats so wrong about wanting to feel good? I think its a positive step forward. However, our goverment, which does not reflect the will of the majority of people, demonizes certain drugs that people take to feel better? Why? Answer in short: MONEY. Look at the prison system and those who have a majority interest in the business of keeping it well stocked. Would it shock you to learn that our President owns
stock in a major business supplying goods to the prison sytems in many states? No, drugs such as marijuana and others must be demonized to keep the system at overflowing capacity. Can't we ALWAYS count on the goverment to make desicions that is in the best of its intrest instead of the people? You bet'cha. Never do they make logical decisions that are truley for the people. Will it ever change? Doubtful. Will we EVER see the evil weed legalized in our lifetimes? Don't hold your breath.

I used to hardly get colds. Then the last two years - Bam! WTF? Anyway Eboli, Sars, the fucking Bird Flu and the NEXT big Booga - Boo....see you next month when we'll have a NEW EP "THE VENGEFUL LEGIONS" wt new music and we're presently editing our 1st punk literaty effort "THE GREAT AMERICAN (sex) NOVEL" in which I, the author, escort you, The reader, to the source of all the present day madness. A modern day Alice-n-Wonderland if you will. Will you? We're shopping it around to several publishing houses and if we don't get any takers we will "DIY and let it fly" and have it up on the site for "print on demand" . We don't fuck around, but you ALREADY knew that.....

NEW!!!! short story/Rant of the month 8/06

2006-03-07T13:00:00.000-08:00

Only fools try to count the stars...t

And they added 5 more planets today making the total count 369. Pity those poor wretched kids having to learn them all in order. And then be graded positive or negative on there results in accomplishing this nonsense which they will never need or use in a gazillion years should they live that long. An excersice in game show futality. Most NEVER make it to the show BUT they watch it live and the re-runs on TV many a hour. And for those lucky enough to actually get to the BIG SHOW, they usually fail miserably and the actual winners, after taxes, early withdrawal fees of payouts, state tarriffs, cost of travel, lodging etc. usually came out with a token amount if that. In the end all the memorization drills were in futility. I mean its not as though any of the children would actually visit all these planets, stars, comets, and astriods and its sure as hell not very likely that they will be able to recite any of this jibberish and pay for thier groceries or anything else for that matter.

However, there are a select few who actually do pay the groceries with all this non-sense and thats the "scientist" who actually come up with all this malarkey. They're writing thier own lunch tickets and in the end WHAT THE FUCK DOES IT MATTER?? What is it that you have achieved in the end (but of course with this THERE IS NO END!!!). How has ANY of this really effected mankind in the least? Look at NASA sending $100 billion dollar space probes to Star System Cazania. Why?

Only fools count the stars... and for the general population to set back and accept this Total NONSENSE it makes us the fools. I mean get your high and mighty OVERfuckingEDUCATED head out of the stars for one second and look at this planet for a change. WOW!! Look at that!! Don't you think that just MAYBE that $100 Billion would have actually done some good here then spending it on oversized fourth of July bottlerockets? You think just maybe?

No WE are the fools, all the occupants of planet Earth, for setting back and letting these "PHD heads" count the stars, setting around listening for signs of life in outter space, watching for things about to hit the planet, like they could do anything to stop it. I'd laugh if it was'nt so pathetic. And then theres the kids in school with thier limited time here on earth having thier lives wasted and drastically effected with this bullshit.

Mother:"Oh dear GAAD NO!!Little Timmy got an "F" for not memorizing the planets!"
Father: WHAT!! Come here you little shit, what do you think I'm sending you to school for? To make me look like someone who's raising a fucking moron!!?????After ALL we do for you......"

You fools keep buying into IT and let me know how thats working out for you.

See the Presidential "Common Sense Reform" Platform here on the blog for More on why the NUCLEARfuckingSKULL kicks your damned asses into waking the fuck up.....

Short story(RANT) of the month Feb 2006

2006-01-30T15:32:00.000-08:00

...this is more of a rant than the usual "short story format" you've been subjected to here in the past. This is no doubt an effect of subscribing to Maximum Rock-n-Roll...its a good thing.

Question: Who killed more people Hitler or Henry Ford? and more importantly what do each have in common than thier instruments of DEATH?

Hiltler got his share, but by ALL accounts Ford's invention and mass manufacturing, the assembly line, of the automobile is STILL racking up its toll even as you read this. Smash Crash Burn! AND they were both NAZI's to the core. Don't believe Ford was a NAZI? Well you obviously don't know your history facts.

I'm not against cars, just the problems and headaches car ownership creates such as parking, or should I say" lack of parking", traffic, stupid drivers, tickets AND on top of this, you pay for the privledge of recieving these problems? You've got to be out of your fricken mind!!!

I look at it like this, if you HAVE to have a car, then you HAVE to have a car. I don't. And I am relived not to have to deal with all the bullshit that comes with car ownership, but then thats just little ol' me...if the economy had to rely on people like me you'd ALL be screwed as I do not own the afformentioned auto, do not own a phone of ANY type whatsoever, nor do I own a credit card. But back to the cars...the entire death equasion could be taken out of the picture all together with "avoidance guidance systems" that practically drive the car for you, but then the manufactuers would have to spend more, charge more not to mention "highway infrastructure upgrades" to comply with such a system and the likes. No, the present system serves society at large a purpose of "culling" the population and keeping EVERYTHING in check and we would'nt want to go and fuck with that now would we? I want NOTHING to do with IT! I am a bare bones efficient operating machine. No car, no wife, no kids, no problems, at least not with these things I've mentioned here. For surely, I DO have my problems, bitches, annoyances and aggrivations.

The latest aggrivation that comes clearly to mind, setting on top of the list is my 5 florida daily lotto numbers. A losing ticket is a losing ticket BUT not for me! On a consistent basis the numbers are one number off from the winning number all across the board!! And if not on ALL the numbers then certainly on 3 or 4. I'd think nothing of it, but I'll luck out and win a free ticket and the numbers on these randomly chosen numbers will be one off from a winner on several numbers...it NEVER fails!!! Its like God and all his buddies are up in heaven saying "Oh this is going to be great!! Watch how pissed he gets at this!!" I'm SO glad I can be a jester for the gods ...I hope they're all enjoying thier sadistic fun.

Well, this year I've decided to do something about it. This year I'm going to monitor the "hot numbers" and play accordingly. I play 2 regular numbers, and surely if I changed them - they would definatly come in the very next day! You can count on that! I play another random computer pick and the new "hot numbers" for a total of 4 picks at a cost of $4. Thats $1460 a year. The payoff on 5 correct numbers is an average of $200k providing you are the only one to win, usally 2 people win. Another thing about this that pisses me of is the disparity between 4 and 5 correct numbers, as 4 numbers usally end up being a $140 payout. There's a HUGE diffrence between $200K and a measly $140. What the fuck is that? It should certainly be a couple thousand. Remind me to jot off a letter to the head lotto asshole on that one. 3 numbers, which I get every month or so, pays a whopping $10, while 2 numbers gets you a free ticket. BFD!

Its frustrating to lose consistently in this fashion because I KNOW there is someone out there who is the exact opposite who wins on a consistent basis. I'm not saying they win everyday, and certainly not the big prize, but they win on a consistent basis. Why cant I catch a break? When will it be MY turn? When will the Gods stop fuckin with me like this? I personally know one person who has won it twice, and two people who have won it once, one who won when the thing first started and it was a $500K payout. Oh well, for ALL the frustration and aggrivation and the $1460 per yr cost, its still less frustrating and costly than car ownership. And should the frustration become too much I can always quit and have an extra $1460 in my pocket over a years time, though I don't know what I'd spend it on right off hand...perhaps studio time and another full lenght cd? More advertising...Probably. Just think of the deilma I will be in when I get all 5 numbers. What?! You think I'm playing to lose? I really don't need the money, though it'd be a nice security blanket to set in the bank. To me its the thrill of the hunt. One thing I surely would not do with the money is buy a car. Who needs those kind of problems?!!!

UPDATE 2/3/06: I fucking KNEW IT!!! the "hot numbers I'm playing...you guessed it...one number off on not one, not two, not three, but four numbers!! I swear to God himself - This is driving me fucking insane with anger! Why am I being fucked with like this?! If there EVER was a man that is TRUELY pissed off, then it is ME. Thankfully I have my music and I can vent and vent I WILL...coming up "The Vengeful Legions" Nuclear Fuck'in Skull-n-Bones 1st studio full lenghth cd for mass distribution...the end result of my anger in a rock'in format, a bulldozer plowing under bodies as they take thier last breath, machine of death, sortta like the car your driving thats going to kill yaa!!

Update 2/14/06: Lately I've been on a two number winner streak for the last 4 days in a row...just waiting....still waiting

Update: 2/22: This is going to be an ongoing Blog throughout the year+ monitoring the situation: as of late the #'s have been way off and even though its a loser, I'd rather them be way off then one off on each number down the line. This tells me they have switched machines as they so often do...still waiting...

Update 3/06: Well its "ON" again. The last couple of days its been the one number off scenerio, 2 correct #'s and that one off # from a winner. I am convinced due to some happenings that occurred the other day that "The powers that be" are all circled looking down from thier heavenly perches saying "Ha! You think that was a good one whatch this!!" Whereupon 8 people come out of nowhere wanting chaise lounges and here comes the wind so strong that it literally blows several 10-15 lbs lounge chairs in to the pool. Fabulous. I need this aggrivation! Well ANYTHING to entertain the gods right? Can't have then setting around all day doing nothing now can we? Of course not! That sort of thing would most likely lead to one or more of them deciding he'd be a better "big boss" than the one presently in charge, which in turn would lead to revolt and expellsion creating another "Great Satan" So you see my constant aggrivation is thier entertainment that keeps all in check. just wonderful.....

update 3/27/06: Here are MY #'s issued to me from a "quick pick" :10/14/20/22/31 AND here are the numbers for the actual fantasy 5 : 15/17/21/22/31....and I'm not suppossed to be pissed off about it? 2 #= a free ticket and I'm one # off on 2 #'s from having 4 #'s and this happens time after time after time....

Update 4/21/06: Here we go, this is exactly what I'm talking about. $84 million dollar lotto. I played 7 tickets and on a quick pick 5 numbers were one off. Then if that was'nt bad enough, on the Fantasy5 quick pick 3 numbers were one off and I go two numbers equalling a free ticket (YEE-HAA).You cannot set there and tell me that some sort of supernatural bullfuckingshit is not going on! And it happens time and time again. I have notebooks full of these incidences. A day fucking late and a dollar short. Pissed? You think? OH well, The gods sure have fun with tormenting me to that I scream: FUCK YOU!!!

Update 11/02/2006

Nothing has changed. My notebook is full of these "one number off fuck me's" but it gets worse: I got 4 numbers out of 5. I went to bed that night thinking I'd scored a grand and life was good until I verified the tickets pay out. NOW GET THIS: 2 top winners get $125,000 each OK? what would you imagine 4 numbers get you? $1000?, $500? $100?...if you said "C" $100 you'd be close $101. Now is that a load of chicken shit or what?
I told alot of people and they all told me ANYWHERE else other than this backwards peckerhead state of FLORIDA you'd be looking at $2000 at a minimum. TOTAL FUCKING CHICKEN SHIT.
A person said to me the other day "You are the most pessimistic person I know". I went and got the dictionary to make sure we are all on the same page. We are and YES I am, and I AM NEVER, repeat NEVER disappionted in my angst.

Fuck all you mutherfuckers and get you faces in front of our NEW video by logging onto myspace.com/nuclerskull...go on get up on the couch and start jumping up and down, shit have a fucking party while your'e at it!!!!

short story of the month 1/06

2006-01-17T10:17:00.000-08:00

I recently read in the local newspaper how FSU had spent a gazillion dollars studying the effect of music on people in the hospital and "premies" (whatever the fuck that is) and how the wonderful people at the local hospital had a program for musicians to volunteer to play while people got the blood sucked out of them, the maternity ward etc.

So being the concerned community loving person that I am, I decided to go volunteer, "What the fuck" I thought, we'll call it a practice session AND help the comunity at the same time. "Win/win", " Kill two birds with one stone" and all the rest of that jibber jabber.

I showed up at the hospital at the assigned time with practice amp and effects board in tow and was assigned to the childrens ward. Holy fucking SHIT. You should have seen those kids the minute I hit the first chord on the guitar! It was like someone simultaneously stuck a live electrical chord up thier collective asses and hit the "on" switch...This is when "nurse Ratchet" stepped in and pulled the plug on my amp and started preaching to me how this type of music was unacceptable for this program whereupon I stood up from the chair I was sitting in and said an inch from her prudish ugly face "Well, I don't know if you noticed but It seems to me that THEY like it, pionting towards the kids. A couple of the kids even said that they liked it.

She was having none of it. Afterall, this was HER ward and she would be calling the shots. Its people like this that fuel my fire. I packed up and left apologizing to the kids on my way out that they were subjected to such a prudish ass of a woman and that I would'nt be able to continue. Three kids fell over dead on the spot. I'm sure that if I had been allowed to play those poor kids would be alive today. On the bright side one of the nurses approached me and said she'd like to hear more in a personal more intimate concert setting.

chicks dig my music, and it upsets monsters like "nurse Ratchet".WIN/WIN, killing two birds with one stone and ALL that jibber jabber..... A side note to nurse RATCHET: "bitch, I WILL BASH YOUR FUCKING UGLYHEAD IN IF I CATCH YOU OUT IN PUBLIC!!" Thats not a threat. Its a promise!!

Short story of the month Dec 05: The Hard Rock Cafe Incident

2005-11-15T11:19:00.000-08:00

Miami Florida, Bayside Marketplace Hard Rock Cafe:

I just showed up. No advance notice. No phone call. No letter. I just showed up around 2 pm with my guitar asking for the manager. The hostess said they had NEVER confirmed an audition but by that time I was already on the darkened stage area opening the case and unloading my Fender with the customized paint job (I poured construction yellow paint down the front so it looks like its bleeding, add in the nuclear skull fret decals and the mirror pick guard and well, "Seal the Deal", this guys here to rock!)

And I confirmed as much saying to the hostess "Look theres two tables here eating lunch" upon which time the hostess corrected me saying "one table, the other tables the managers". At which piont I replied "Can someone get the manager and turn on the PA?'

This is when the hostess turns to one of the 2 waitresses and says "Go in the back and ask Larry to come out here." A few moments later "Larry" came out of kitchen, where he previous to my entrance, had been gorging himself on Ice cream? Shrimp? The body he killed last night? all of the above probably.

I'd been there before in Larry's shoes - desparate times in a factory churning out food as THE MANAGER. A party every night is how I looked at it. I tried to make everyone happy - the patrons, the help, my superiors, but mostly myself. You can NEVER make them ALL happy. But I tried and I mostly tried to make myself happy which is why a gave the mutherfuckers thier keys back when they came to me wanting me to move for the 5th time with a promotion to, of all places, Lexington, Ky. in mid winter snow up to your ass, this a week after my girlfriends mother suddenly died in a fire... Here's your keys! I'm done with it, burn the ties, burn the suits. Burn it all!!

...So here comes Larry, wiping his mouth when he sees me. Seal The Deal. He had'not been expecting this. Some small talk, mostly lies on my part, whereupon Larry turns on the PA. I fiddled around with some sweet mello acoustic stuff and Larry indicates to turn it down a little bit and walks over to his table....more acoustic stuff just waiting for the moment. Just waiting. Getting a little bit nastier going into the GNR opening riff to Coma..Just waiting. And then Larry made his move. No sooner had he vanished into the kitchen I was up to turn the PA volume up and back to the DOD effects board switching to FULL ON!! Here it comesmutherfuckers!! Brace for shock!!

I hit them ALLl unexpectingly. Another goddamned surprise attack!! as I hammered down on the 52 tuned to Eb, bordering on "D" for doom!!or there abouts. I was about 45 seconds into the riff to our song "Down" when Larry comes running out of the back, arms waving over his head. I thought for a millasecond he was trying to start a pit, but it was not to be as he ran up on the stage (Security!!) and turned off the PA. "What the cops are shutting us down? I said to him. "You can't do that in here now. Its sounded like a damn train coming through here..."

Thank You Larry. I'm taking it as a compliment and you are not the first to say it...Nuclear Fuckin' Skull -n- Bones = music that sounds like a Train plowing through your house, Climb aboard or GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY!!!! (Check out the band 1st video up on the site www.nuclearskull.com/music) Keep on rockin in a free world....

Mark's Presidential Platform & campaign promises

2005-10-22T09:38:00.000-07:00

Forward:
This is the idea that the common man wt a punk attitude could become The President. (I can tell you honestly, It would be better than what we have now with this cowardly weasel Bush pissing off the entire globe at the U.S.) Instead, How about the angry voices of rioting mobs be heard for once and the minute voices of the rich and influencial be silenced instead. That'd be a GREAT start! (The issue of a decent wage comes to mind when these corporations cry "it will kill us!! It will break our backs!! Meanwhile, executives rape and plunder the thing taking home six figure bonuses and all kinds of perks. Well guess what?: The working peoples backs ARE broken!! They were broken long ago. When the cost of living skyrockets and wages stay the same, there IS a HUGE problem with this scenerio don't you think?
We the people ALL want the same thingsin life: A decent living wage, affordable housing, health care, peace and happiness. But this present situation has repeated itself time and time again over the eons of time. Can't we finally say ENOUGH!!? The easiest thing in the world to do is QUIT. Can't we QUIT fucking things up?!! or do we HAVE to do just one more bombing run and assualt on the village no matter the civillian casualties caught up in some sensless war zone? Whats happening right now in Washington, D.C. is America imploding on itself while pissing off the entire world. Did you ever stop and think for one second how the world at large looks at the U.S.? Its not such a far fetched idea to think they look at us like" world dominating Nazi's" pushing Democracy down everyones throats like it or not, and if you don't like it you are eliminated as a threat. This is not to hard to imagine and is pretty much close to the actual truth. Is this how we as a nation want to be portrayed? Its past time for worldwide change for the better and here are a few collective ideas to bring about such:

The 1st things I'll do as your President is implement a COMMON SENSE POLICY:

1. Abolish ALL pennies from circulation. They will be worth nothing, not even to collectors. They are a national public nuisance and they will all be taken out of circulation and melted down for real and productive usage. This is COMMON SENSE REFORM in your goverment. Retailers and such, begin to round off to the nearest "5' or "10". An Economist has appraoched me and said this will automatically cause 25% inflation. I say a small price to pay to rid us all of the aggrivation of these nuisances, not to mention the cost.

2. ...well I guess I am getting ahead of myself and I should lay down the money to run, fill out multiple forms and whatnot, not to mention have some stickers made up and open several websites dedicated to my campaign and hire several spinsters and political hacks: You know that there is no conspiracy, no one in charge, you are operating under the illusion of a masterplan. We are neither Republican nor Democrat. We don't like labels but we know there is no way around not getting one so here are some suggestions: The" we're not fucking around party" or" The Nuclear party". I don't care, whatever. The Campaign Slogan is: "FUCK THE SYSTEM" and we currently have the T-shirts available www.nuclearskull.com/gear

2. I will expose the poor and offer them a hand up, if that is truely what they want, you know you can't help a man that does not want help...I will accomplish this through TVA like national and international projects and programs to put people to work paying them a realistic wage that will enable them to actually live instead of barely survive. And damn you to fucking hell WAL-MART!! You will pay a decent living wage or you WILL be shut down and another business can and will take your place. Its as simple as that!! Stop exploiting people!! I do not shop at wal-mart. Nor do I want ANY of my records or band merch sold there!! FUCK WAL-MART!!!

3. I will aggressively begin the move from fossil fuels to the Icelandic model of hydrogen, solar and of course NUCLEAR. While setting up REAL Environmental Programs.

4. I will send all nations of the world an apology for transgressions and folleys of the past. (if you will turn your bibles and storybooks to Revalations you will see this is the beggining of 2000 yrs of peace before all hell breaks loose. Hey it has to start somewhere, sometime)

5. I will be truthfull and honest with the people of the world and explain to ALL that there are certainly other lifeforms living beyond our Earth and they are superior and more technologically advanced than us.

6. I'll start pushing some buttons, because an "unused weapon is a useless weapon" and there are certain groups and societys amongst us that will always try and disturb peace. The only thing they understand is "a big stick" so they get the big stick and realize WE are not fucking around: Climb aboard or swim with the sharks. Its that simple. Brace for shock, because here it comes!! "What do you do when you here the flash?....")

7. I will legalize ALL drugs. You want to shoot up heroin? Go right ahead, its your life. You want to snort a line of cocaine from NY to LA, go right ahead, its your life. These drugs will be taxed accordingly and the sames rules to driving under the influence will apply. I will appiont Mr. Bruce Mirken of the Marijuana Policy Project, Washington D.C. in charge of this commission for the good work he has done thus far in this area .

8. I will create an atmosphere of prosperity for all w/o the guilt, greed and sodomy of religion (unless of course thats what you want, and as in present times, it will be avaialable to you) YEEE-HAA to ALL your religions!! Who am I to judge your beliefs?? And who the fuck are you to judge others beliefs?? RELIGION KILLS and this "my god is better than your god" bullshit is going to stop. Your religion doesn't give you the right to kill others just because they don't believe in the "Great HooDoo" or whatever the fuck it is you believe in. You WILL respect others beliefs and they WILL respect yours. And you will stop all the bullshit killing nonsense or you will be wiped off the face of the earth. Now walk the line mutherfuckers!

9. Population controls: There are already too many people on this planet for it to sustain and heal the harm we are doing to it. Wake the fuck up!! If you cant control how many children you have, My administration will. more on the "nuts and bolts" of this later.

10. A real and effective United Nations, one that will effectivly distribute wealth and educate third world countries that despite eons, cannot get thier shit together. Look the fuck out Somolia, Nigeria and all the rest of you dragging shitbird nations, the jig is up, its time to cut the shit and get down to a change for the better.

11. Did I mention ALL people must wear "storm trooper" boots?
- yes, a question?
* yes sir, Larry Fitzgerald of the Star-Tribune, what if you are at the beach, do you still want people to wear the boots?
- Why would you want to take them off? I'll go this far for comforts sake and appiont a "stormtrooper boot commission" where approved footwear and the likes are reviewed. How's that? Next question.

12. Collission avoidance systems will be outfitted on all cars virtually making auto accidents a thing of the past.

13. Common Sense reform shall be the rule of ALL goverments: Why as an elected official for the people would you steal from the same people who have trusted you to serve on thier behalf?
You will be publically executed for any such transgression. The punishment due.

14. The original zero calorie Fresca, unfucked with rasberry and whatnot flavorings, full of sweet, sweet caffine. This army marches on caffine!!!

15. Free speech and naked breast on TV and print ads. Enough is enough. People, the American People in particular, are too hung up on the naked body and words deamed offensive by the FCC. The jig is up ASSHOLES!! Time to get real jobs instead of force feeding the people your holier than thou lines of shit about what you can and cannot say or do!!Goodbye. And to all detractors: If you don't like the channel CHANGE IT!! Its as simple as that!!!

16. As the President I work for you. I'm not here for my benifit but yours now you tell me what you want?

- A realistic living wage?
-affordable housing?
- A goverment you can trust instead of the shit we have now?

what do you want, tell me

17. I CAN make this a reality by cutting back on whats going on in outter space and concentrating on whats going on here on Earth. NASA, time to get real jobs peckerheads!! COMMON SENSE REFORM in goverment. Its time to use your heads. I'm sure the scientist, who like a fool has been studying the stars his/her whole life would argue. I say its time to get a real job contributing here on this planet not sucking in a free paycheck and contributing a pile of worthless data. Lets take care of problems here before you go starting others...

18. Immigration: Can you imagine what it must feel like working as an Immigration foot soldier with the ludicrious revolving door policy we have now? Enough is enough! You want to come to this country? Well come through the front door the right way! Don't try slipping in through the back door uninvited like some thief. And if you do and you are caught you are going straight to one of many work camps for a minimum 10 yrs- maximum 20 years to help build the infrastructure of this country. Many people have died for the freedom this country enjoys and here you come surfing a free ride on a wave of thier blood and we're just suppossed to roll out the red carpet for you? Like hell! Come in the front, fill out the papers and we'll talk about it. Come in the back door and your going right to the camps for 10-20 yrs and when your finished serving we'll fill out the proper papers and see if you are eligible to become a citezen. Do I have the votes of ALL immigration foot soldiers? You bet I do!! This will be a modern day FRD "TVA" type program and there will be U.S. Citizens there as well who are looking for opportunity to mend our crumbling infra-stuctures like the power grid, the hiways, bridges etc.

19. Education: The system will be completely overhauled. Teachers will be paid decent wages but at the same time they will begin to actually teach subjects that are useful. I'm sorry, but little Timmy's not going to be able to buy groceries as an adult knowing which General fought in the battle of New Orleans. Instead by the time little Timmy is in the 7th grade he will begin to learn his vocation in life, the basics to running a business and how things really work. If Timmy wants to learn about the past the library is wide open, but lets not waste his time or ours.

20. Crime and the Death penalty: Ok let me get this one straight: You go out and not only kill, but rape and mutilate some poor kid and we're suppossed to put you up in a correctional facility at taxpayers expense for the rest of your life? Not on my watch. You are going head fucking first ALIVE into an incinerator.The punishment will fit the crime and it will be swift! So swift that it will send a message to ALL. So swift it will make your head spin around on your spinal column causing you to ask yourself "what the fuck was that!!?" I will stop building prisons, turning present prisons into schools and places for the elderly and begin building Incinerators. This will be a major deterant against committing ANY crime don't you think?

-Yes, another question in the front row,Larry I beleive it was?

* Yes, will these "stormtrooper boots" be available in colors and what is the significance of wearing boots?

-I'm so glad you asked that question. First of all a person wearing boots commands respect. It sends an unspoken message and it tells all that "Hey, I'm onboard!" Now as for colors. I don't see why not. I mean if you want to wear pink stormtrooper boots with short short cut off levis with a cowboy hat and go hang out at the beach, why not? Pink,green,yellow,red its ALL good.

20. Weathermen/women: You WILL be accountable for your forcast. The free ride is OVER. Do you know how many millions the local Miami weather fuckwads cost the local economy last holiday? They claimed it was going to rain, therefore people canceled golf, boating etc., the problem was: it was sunny. You do that under my presidency and you are out of a job, you will be jailed and fined and your employer will be fined severely. FREE RIDE IS OVER SHITASSES!!!

short story of the month (NOV 05)

2005-10-19T11:05:00.000-07:00

This is how things go for me:

Musicians Freinds had been advertising the "B.C. RICH rich bitch" in thier catalog for years, but they day (not the day before, not the day after- BUT "THE DAY") I decide to order, the guitar is discontinued from the factory. NOT AVAILABLE. More frustration and aggrivation not to mention the loss of money from having to cancel the money order I used to pay for it....

So there I am riding on the bus in a not so cool part of town and SCREAMING out to me from the window of a pawn shop is, you guessed it - THE GUITAR. I immediatly pushed the stop button and got off the bus. The proprietors were asking $140. (Never pay the 1st price they throw at you in a pawn shop.) I countered "$120, you gotta case for it?" He went to check while I calculated the find: Musicians freinds price was $179 + s/h, easily $200. This was a steal!

The clerk cames back with a "gig bag" telling me he has no case for it. I took the guitar and the gig bag for $120.... and this is the guitar thats on the bands 1st video and the one that sets beside me and I pick up and fiddle around with creating new riffs and song ideas...

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON...and that same sentence reverberated though the halls of time itself and through the bloodstream and hearts of all men and all reason as the river of life flowed through timeitself and towards the listening post on Alpha Sentari..."NO!" he cursed under his breath so as not to alert the others, "This could not be happening AGAIN!!". He thought for a moment and knew deep in his heart he HAD to report it... but instead he went home early complaining of a stomach ache; it was half true. He tried to buy some time. He realized though the jig was up and it would be back to 36 hour day work shifts. He dreaded it. "Just a day with the family" he consoled himself within his concious thought as he flew toward home. "just a day with the family before the "back at it again". He felt like a robot and wondered deeply if he was'nt.

Short story of the month (OCT 05)

2005-10-01T09:47:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time there was an evil country who's goverment constantly lied to the people, they absolutely could not, would not tell the truth, in fact they were not capable of telling the truth at all. They lied over and over and over and over again to the piont where all the people of the land just assumed that anything coming out of thier mouths was a lie and they were correct in thier assumtions.

Then one day, some genius said "ENOUGH of the lies! I'm sick of it!!" and the man standing next to him heard this outburst and he too screamed the mantra and then the man next to him and the person next to him until it spread like out of control wildfire. Anyway, I won't bore you with minute and mundane details of it all, but rather get straight to the piont: This is how The People's Movement for Common Sense Reform in Goverment (PMCSRG) got its start. Yes, you may already be a member and know the story, but for you minority few that don't know the history, this is the same group, which you surely heard about unless you have been living under a rock, that overwelmned the President and his Secret Service thugs at Michigan State University in shere numbers and proceded to pull his arms, legs and head off like a bug. Strength in Numbers. You may recall that the Secret Service had guns and used them. You may also recall the PMCSRG had guns as well and never had to use them. Again, Strength in numbers.It was no contest. You've surely seen the video clip of the rat faced President crying like a baby for the angry disenfranchised crowd to spare his life.

Yes, like the Revolutionary War of 1776, it was a turning piont not only for the country, but for politics all over the world. The "model" had been cast on that glorious day. Now, you'd better fucking believe that any crazy son of a bitch running for President had this image carved in stone in his/her memory. Oh, sure the goverment said they were taking measures to see to it that a "catastrophy" like this NEVER happened again. "Catastrophy"? It was the best thing to EVER happen to this country and besides, what could they do? Have the President driving around in a "Pope mobile" followed by a huge army that still was infantestimal amongst the crowd of many? No sir, that would have come off like so many dictators of the past and "they"- you, would have seen right through it and acted accordingly in numbers.

It was a turning piont where ALL elected officials would actually begin to serve the people instead of thier own self serving agenda. You saw what happened to the Mayor of Miami and the developers in bed with him got. Surely you saw the footage on your evening news. I'm sure this image too is carved in stone in the memories of all politicians. What the President got was humane in contrast. Can you imagine the horror of being strung up "Musillini" style and beaten by a crowd weilding lead pipes, baseball bats and sticks of every shape and size? Ghastly business but it had to be done. Strength in numbers.

Please make you donation to the PMCSRG today, your country, your voice. Strength in Numbers.

Short story of the month (Sep 05)

2005-08-30T14:27:00.000-07:00

You know the saying "Be careful what you wish for"? Well I'm typing this on a wireless laptop underneath my next door neighbors house because the entire city, if not the country is looking for me....It all started innocently enough, we were all playing cards and Boyd Anders says He wishes he had powers to see through cards and I said, jokingly of course "I wished I was a giant rodent hybrid with wings like a bat and teeth that could chew through concrete and red laser beam eyes that could cut through steel" and when I woke up this morning I was burrowed into an embankment in the woods behind our house and the little Parker girl was laying there in front of me in the dirt in a pool of her own blood and and her arms and face were chewed to the bone and to make matters worse I had blood all over my fur. I don't know what the fuck happened.

I was laying there trying to remember when I heard some noises and got spook4ed and ran under Jims house. I chewed through the flooring and came up into his sons room and thats where I found this laptop and an Ipod. You know those damn things can store over 300 songs? I'm listening to "Cowboys from Hell" now as I type this... I know they have a dog so I'm going to burrow a tunnel out into the woods. I wish I was'nt a giant hybrid rodent with wings like a bat and teeth that can chew through concrete and red laser beam eyes that can cut through steel. I keep chanting this matra but it doesnt seem to work. I think I hear someone coming gotta go.....

short story of the month (aug)

2005-07-29T09:00:00.000-07:00

Alot of you people don't know this, but NUCLEAR SKULL, the band and the website, is supported by our local venture supplying escorts for the fine gentlemen of the S.florida tri county area who need companionship at public gatherings and social events. However, we are NOT in the business of prostitution!! If one of our girls decideds she wants to have sex, well thats between the client and our dispatch. We only pride the service of making the connection and be quite honest its all nickel and dimes compared to our real money making venture operating the countries finest and most well respected Babysitting and consulting services.

We are not a nanny or butler service, we are strictly in and out. All my people are highly trained in the martial arts, psychology and MK-ULTRA mind control. If you need consulting work, we come into your home and make reccomendations and can even provide construction work in building in home "jails" for your little out of control monsters.

Think about it because it REALLY works. Your kids have thier bedrooms with all thier stuff they like in there, when they're bad why would you send them to a place they like? Thats why we highly recommend our 3x5 cell, our most popular model and approved by all 50 states child and welfare agencies. For more info please inquire within.

Must see globetrekker EATS

2005-07-22T09:20:00.000-07:00

1. The Corsica episode with Ian: Ian is at some twisted, bent outdoor festival and this lady is skewering live eels and then cooking them alive over hot coals. The end product looks like sausages but HOLY FUCK! Could'nt they at least wack the fuckers on the head first? Geez, the slimey thinks are cross-eyed and writhing in pain from being skewered and then open mouthed fucked with fire.

2. The India episode: at the very end....."...the rat tails are saved for the children" camera pans to a dirty faced kid chewing on a rat tail. Camera pans to a man holding a rat by the nape of its neck, slits its gut open and rams a stick up its ass and begins to cook it over the fire like a hot dog. Yummy.

short story of the month (july05)

2005-06-28T09:04:00.000-07:00

Word had inevitiably spread and he was briskly summoned to a clandistine meeting place where he was asked to explain his radical theories on unconventional warfare to the powers that be.

He told them flat out "I need full compensation for such information and moreso if my theories are correct concerning the present military operations being conducted!" Whereupon a check immediatly appeared. He grabbed it from the hands of a Sargent and looked at it, 3.5 million dollars written from an" oil trust royalty account" from Swiss bank. "Seems about right" he thought.

Shortly therafter, occupational coilition forces began heeving the carcasses of dead babies out of the back of dueces as they traveled through known insurgent areas; began dropping huge pallet loads of the putrid rotting things out of B52's flying over the mountains of Kandahar and Tora Bora; began firing them out of super cannons toward known Taliban, Al Queada, Nazi and Democratic party strongholds.

The results were mixed. The brainwashed religious booga boos thought it was the "Great shitbird in the sky" raining children down on them (not to far from the actual truth) and they either blew themselves up then and there on the spot or they went completely insane and ran out into the desert, naked and screaming madly with the insanity of the "mumbo jumbo".

However, others seemed to relish in the occassion and saw it as some sort of protien handout and developed what some are calling "THE tastiest soup in the world", immediatly creating a underground black market (See the Food Network for more facts).

In any case, He did recieve one more check for 2.75 million made out from the same "oil trust royalty account". Not bad for 2 hours "work", if you could really call it "work".

short story of the month (june 05)

2005-06-07T08:06:00.000-07:00

here's some homegrown Florida horror for you straight out of the Everglades:

"Well I sat there in my truck and finally decided to "step up and be a man" so I loaded Tammy in the back and drove her on up to her Pa's place and carried her all bride like up to the door and asked her Pa for her hand in marriage. Well he passed out and his old hag wife come out screaming and hollarin "you killed my daughter!!" and all kinds of other shit, so I ran back to the truck and got the hell out of there. It don't matter, me and Tammy eloped and I just got finished fucking her and filling her egg sack full, the flys are still fucking her, she's almost ready for the swamp to give birth to our youngins. Tommorrow I'm going fishin with Pa and I'm thinking about harvesting a couple boys. I seen a group of em down by the crick a while back swimming neakid. I can get two or three easy.I'm thinking about making a purse out of one of them for Ma .Her birthday coming up and she'll reallu appreciate a nice purse....

more lyrics

2005-06-07T07:52:00.000-07:00

31. Who, What, When, Where

Graduated from high school
just in time to be cool
yeah, he made the grade
joined the few the proud (oo-rhaa)
seeing the world, gettin paid

Then the son of the father
took an ego trip (your boss sucks!!)
looking for weapons of mass destruction
that don't excist

Serving his country he captured Sadam
for his efforts he was rewarded with a
checkpiont charlie suicide car bomb

chorus:
Who, what, when, where, why??
good soldiers don't ask questions
good soldiers just die
(end chorus)

and the politicians shake thier fist
$400 billion later, 3000 lie under Arlingtons morning mist

What do we do with our shattered arms and legs
once they've been replaced with
silicone, plastic and wooden pegs?

repeat chorus

wipe that silly grin off your
cheesey rat face
We're here to put you in your place
NO secret service or body guards
Just your burning house of cards!!!
You're going down!!
Just give us five minutes alone!!!!!

repeat chorus

____________________________________________________________
32. Brace for shock

I leave a trail of death and horror in my path
on my return I'll be walking on the the shards
and shattered peices of your skulls
And still the anger builds inside of me until it explodes
and thats just the way it goes -

chorus:
Brace for shock
the planet vibrates
no one escapes
Brace for shock because here it comes

(hellashish guitar riff)

In a place where theres no love or happy thoughts
Brace for shock cuz mutherfuckers here it comes!!

repeat guitar riff

repeat chorus

end
_____________________________________________________________
33. Give us What we want

* I usally don't go into a" behind the song" forum here (see the" behind the songs" section) But this song is one I think most everyoneof you can relate to because you know someone just like this. Someone who ALWAYS has nothing but complaints. This particular person who I wrote this song about complains so much its like "the boy who cried wolf", in one ear and out the other, people call to find out if she is around, and change plans if she is, people throw themselves down flights of stairs to get out of mistakenly made dinner engagements (because they are embarassed and/or don't want to eat the cooks and waiters spit when she makes a big scene over her diet coke being too cold or some other ridiculous complaint that ALWAYS arises) people hope and pray the miserable bitch dies in a car wreck and people WILL dance in the streets when she's dead. If you don't know someone like this, consider yourself lucky!

I'm not the things that you say I am
not that I really even give a damn
I'm not impressed with your luxury car
your jewlery
your clothes
your trying to hard

when I see you
I walk away
cuz' I don't need you fucking my day
People like you only excist
for laws on the books
Its not a long list

chorus:
Everyones partying enjoying themselves
your the ONLY one complaining
YOU BITCH!!!
YOU LIER
YOU MISERABLE CUNT!!!
FALL OVER DEAD
GIVE US WHAT WE WANT!!!!
WE'LL DANCE AT YOUR FUNERAL
WE'LL DANCE ON YOUR GRAVE
WE'LL CURSE THE SKY AT THE MENTION OF YOUR NAME
YOU BITCH
YOU LIER
YOU MISERABLE CUNT
FALL OVER DEAD
GIVE US WHAT WE WANT

tbc
_______________________________________________________________

34. Not the only one

I gotta black cloud hangin over me
and its blocking out the sun
I'm setting here
standing here
just waiting for "when?"(shit hell, piss, damn fuck this sucks!)
and I gotta feeling,
I'm not the only one,

My teeth are razor shards
My tongue speaks only of the unclean
My mind is a wounded dog
and if you listen real close, you'll hear its screams

tbc
___________________________________________________________
34. TRAPT

Credit card debt and an inflated mortgage
a lousy job and 2.5 kids
and this is freedom to do what I want?
when I want?
How I want?

chorus:
Trapt - underneath the weight of it all
Trapt- and no one hears my calls
Trapt- in hindsight I never even saw the fall - Trapt!

Avericious, insatiable
she practically lives in the shopping mall
she thinks she needs
she knows she wants it all

repeat chorus

I feel so helpless under the weight of the mounting bills
programed to consume no matter how it feels
Trapt, never saw it coming
If I could I'd get up running

repeat chorus

tbc
______________________________________________
35 Pretty Girl

I see her driving her brand new car
I see her in the shopping mall
I see her walking her crazy dog
a bend over , pick-up and bag his steamy log

Chorus:
Pretty Girl
Pretty Girl
out shopping in a fucked up world
Pretty Girl
Pretty Girl
The blood is flowing and her hair is curled
Prety Girl
Pretty Girl
Out shopping in a fucked up world

2nd stanza
tbc
____________________________________________
36. The parent song

I cant get no rest
I cant get no sleep
These kids are driving me crazy
They got mud on thier feet

Your either in or out
Stop slamming the door

tbc

short story of the month

2005-05-03T10:02:00.000-07:00

FROM THE "JUST WHEN YOU THINK YOU'VE SEEN IT ALL FILE":

My Swedish girlfriend finally talked me into spending a few weeks on her turf. I have to admit Sweden is definately a cool country, a little expensive, but the people are great and the countryside is amazing. However, there was one thing that kind of has me thinking there is some strange undercurrent in the social structure.

The day started off great. We had gone for a 15 mile bike ride into the lake country, went swimming and rowing and where back in town relaxing and winding down enjoying a few cold beers at the local pub when I happened to look out the window and see two grown men and a teenage boy standing against a wall leading into an alley. What really caught my attention is that they had thier pants open and thier genetailia fully exposed just standing there. I brought this to the attention of my girlfriend and she calmly replied in her sexy accent "It's Friday, they are waiting for the milk women to come down from the mountains to milk them for the winter cheese."

Red flashing lights, alarms, information overload!! "milk women", "winter cheese"? At my proding, she went on to explain the tradition of hard winters past, extracting protein etc. I have to admit the entire thing has twisted me around hard. Maybe someone else out there has heard
of this; but it all comes as VERY strange and bizare to me. I can guarentee you one thing: I won't be eating ANY cheese!!

Short story of the month (Apr 2005)

2005-03-31T14:41:00.000-08:00

He had indeed tapped deep into bio-medical technology and his ever expanding bank account and had falcon eyes attached to his machine body made by Titanium Bio Labs LLC (TBL). As a matter of fact, every year he had his mechanical heart replaced with a new and improved model, brain cell rejuvination on his microchips, the whole 9 yards; The works! He was the oldest man alive; some said over 700 years old, others said more like 300 years old, while others said he did'nt excist at all, and why the fuck should he?

Lyrics

2005-03-22T07:30:00.000-08:00

ALL lyrics copyrighted 2008 nuclearmusic

Nuclear Skull is: Mark Scott vocals/rythm guitar
"The Puma" Lead guitar
Brian Hernandez Drums

________________________________________________
Multi-illioniare: 3 song demo:

1. Resident Evil Mercenary (short Version)

Intro (spoken): I wish you'd stop that breathing like that (repeated)

Gas Station
Basement
3rd Floor

Substation
sales office
The bar

(chorus)
Resident Evil
infecting all the people
The damned of the damned
all the people of the land
Resident Evil

(bridge)

Repeat chorus

Colagelated blood
you know
you said
you could
you would

repeat chorus

ending (spoken) She's not dead yet you can't do that, but her (repeated)

_______________________________________________________
2. Nuclear Skull Affirmed

The queen of England
The goddamned fucking pope
referees and umpires
they're all a bunch of jokes
Laughing all the way to the bank
they only have you to thank
when will you learn? - burn!
Nuclear Skull affirmed

(bridge)

politicians and weatherman
shit talking mutherfuckers who gives a damn?
you've gotta live your life
the one that burns
Nuclear Skull affirmed

2nd bridge

ending (spoken) We don't like people like you, part of the problem (repeated)

_______________________________________________________
3. Smash, Crash, Burn (short version)

intro: (spoken) Now tell me right out loud, What are you supposed to do when you see the flash? (nuclear explosion) (sung) Duck and cover, Duck and cover.

rythm Guitar intro

(chorus)
Smash, Crash, Burn!
Smash, Crash, Burn!
Smash, Crash, Burn!

-when in the hell will you ever learn?

(repeat chorus)

-bottoms up with no concern!

-(repeat chorus)

-next in line come on take your turn, Haa, haa!!

(bridge)

(repeat chorus)

-next in line come on take your turn aaaahhhhhhhh

ending: (spoken) Gone to your head and said, buy leather pants, no (repeated)

_________________________________________________________________

4. Kill Again

intro: (spoken) Blackest of the Black
Heart of the attack
don't worry about it mutherfucker
cuz' your not coming back!!!

Kill, Kill, Kill Again
Kill, Kill, Kill Again

(chorus)
KIll --
Kill -- KIllll!!!
Kill --
Kill -- Killll. Don't know the word end, just begin, Kill, Kill, Kill Again!!
Kill, KIll, Kill Again!!

(chorus repeated)

(bridge) repeated intro riff

Kill, just for the thrill
Kill, I know you will
Kill, It's what we do best
Kill, Lay them to rest
Kill, WHO's FUCKING NEXT!!!

(repeat chorus) x 2

ending: spoken (just a cog in the killing machine (repeated)

__________________________________________________________
5. Sick in the Head

Intro riff

(chorus)
Sick, sick, sick in the head
Have a good time burrying the dead
Sick, sick, sick in the head
We'll have a good time so bring a friend
six, six, six in the head
When they find you, you'll probably be dead

(repeat chorus)

tempo break back into intro riff

(repeat chorus)

guitar solo wt wah

(repeat chorus)

ending: fade

_________________________________________________________

6. Plaugeround (pronounced playg- round)

(groovin intro riff)

(chorus)
It's the all adult
It's the all adult
It's the all adult plaugeround

you know I said I need you
you know it was a lie
now I up and leave you as the flowers wilt and die!

(repeat chorus)

(repeat intro riff)

Now I come to bleed you
You bought the dirty lie
You try to break even 'HA
But don't you even try

(repeat chorus)

guitar solo into intro riff

(repeat chorus)

ending: faded chorus
________________________________________________________________

Panties & a bra

intro (spoken/whispered) My whole life is falling apart, if this were a video game I'd hit restart.

my silly girlfriend, she wants a big ring
she talks all day, never says a thing
cigarette in one hand, cell phone in the other
she's on the phone talking to her mother saying Blah, Blah, Blah,Blah
Blah, Blah, Blah,
Blah. Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah,
Blah--
Blah--
Blah, Blah, Blah Owwwwwwwww!
Panties & a bra

Second chorus NOT recorded:

Walking tall in the shopping mall
High heeled shoes and that aint all
she's got her cell phone, her little dog and her credit cards
ooh la, la, la
la, la, la
Ooh la, la, la ,la
shopping for
panties and a bra

solo

Spoken:It aint so bad

end

_________________________________________________________
8. Eatsleepworkfuckrepeat

Intro: Big machine riff

(chorus)
Eatsleapworkfuckrepeat
eatsleapworkfuckrepeat
eatsleepworkfuckrepeat

And try to convince yourself otherwise

(repeat chorus)

And do it until the body dies

(repeat chorus)

(to be continued)

________________________________________________________
9. The Slasher

Intro riff

Theres a little problem inside my mind
It's infecting me and I'm not so kind

gotta problem
got its weight
got its anger
got its hate

got the message?
Am I getting through?
Am I in your mind
Am I infecting you?

got the answer
got its voice
got a razor
got no choice

THE SLASHER!!!!!! INTO our song KILL AGAIN
_________________________________________________________

10. Down

(Acoustic)
on a dark dirt road
at the place where evil lives
on a dark dirt road
one takes and another gives

(Chorus) electric & Heavy
you know you're going DOWN, DOWN, DOWN!!
'' '' '' ''
you know your going

On another planet
in another place
Alien bitch slapped right in the face!

(repeat chorus)

Front yard bar-b-q
religious pamplets handed out to you
We told them-

(repeat chorus)

all obstacles in my path
overcome with insatiable wrath
don't get in my way!!

repeat chorus

Another city
Just another town
here's some heavy music
we're throwin down- GO!!

thrashing free for all solo
(music completely stops)

return to opening stanza (acoustic) end

_________________________________________________________
11. She wants

(Acoustic)
She wants the moon and the stars
she wants luxury cars
she wants dinner and drinks
she wants diamond rings
she want a condo and furs
she wants everything is hers
she wants everything you've got
she wants and she'll never stop!

(chorus)
(electric) (heavy)
and she wants and wants and wants and wants and wants
But what she got was the wrecking ball!
She aint got a soul
she aint gotta soul
take her pulse HA
she's ice cold

(back to acoustic)
and she wants a flowerey grave
and she wants out of the firey lake
and she wants just one more dance
and she wants just one more chance

(repeat chorus)

(to be continued)
________________________________________________________

12. Walk with the Gods

Intro riff

Feel yourself pure
Knowing full well you have the cure
Take what they give
Descretion to forgive
Walk with the Gods
they have lives to lend
world war worried till the bitter end
You must - Walk with the Gods !!
System of exploration
Systematic exploitation
A patriotic stand for a very weak minded nation
You must! Walk with the Gods!

(to be cont.)
____________________________________________________________

13. 1/2 way to Hell

Intro riff

As I saw the flames
I saw the cross
As I felt the fire
I felt the loss

(chorus)
1/2 way to Hell
1/2 way to hell
Not that you could tell
1/2 way to Hell
1/2 way to hell

As we chart the stars
and build more cars
We've gone way to far
to heal the scares

(Repeat chorus)

(To be cont.)
_______________________________________________

14. That Man

Intro riff

names carved on a wall
bones turned to dust
Incalcuable national deficiet
The results of insatiable lust

And life goes on
steel turns to rust
millions and millions of people
and not one soul you can trust

Make a single line
Do you think you can?
I shake my head "NO"
I can't be that man!!!

(to be cont.)
_________________________________________________________

15. Lucigan

intro riff

Terrorizing the neighborhood
prognosis don't look to good
sinking fangs now in your throat
she wears the sign of the devil goat

She's loose again
she's lucigan
she lost her mind just your kind
she's loose aagain
she's lucigan

Open sores on her hairy legs
Desparatly she lays her eggs
needles in her sunken veins
lives off childrens nieve brains

She's loose again
she's lucigan
she lost her mind just your kind
she's loose again
she's lucigan

to be cont.
_____________________________________________________________

16. In and out

I can't live
I can't breath
I only come to leave

(chorus)
In and out
In and out
In and out
I'm in,
I'm out

I just need
Its so much greed
I went and did it
Turned around
got up to leave

(repeat chorus)

to be cont.
___________________________________________________________

17. Rip Ride

Intro riff

Slow motion explosion from the beginning of time
spinning around in caos
It's your life and mine

fools try and count the stars
fools ride around in luxury cars

(chorus)
Rip ride
Rip ride
Look around at all that died
Rip ride
Rip Ride
It's a life, yours and mine
Rip ride
Rip ride , pile'm up and pile'em high

to be cont.
___________________________________________________________

18. Destruction

Heavy groovin intro riff

Rip it down to build it up again

Destruction!

I've been working all day, where the ya been?

Destruction!

Destroy, tear it up

Destruction!

Lay it down, fuck it up!

Destruction- destroy!
we've got systems to employ
Destruction!
Destruction!!!

to be cont.
____________________________________________________

19.Wasted

Don't want no job
Don't want no wife
Don't want no Kids
I've got my life

(Chorus)
I just wanna get wasted
I just wanna get wasted
I just wanna get wasted
Success mission achieved!!!
kickback and watch how the masses feed
Oh my God you just would'nt believ
I just wanna get wasted

wanna do it every day
wanna do it my own way
I'm the dog - won't sit
won't stay

repeat chorus

to be cont.
_____________________________________________________________

20.In the here and now

I come in, finished last
Aint gett'in nowhere fast
Ed Gein lamp shade past
Fast lane railroad tracks
80 proof window seat
Dream hole 6 ft deep
Electric axe took the power leap
blew the socks right off your feet
Channel of contradictions
Govermental gross afflictions
Bleeding cartel corpse
an engineer of destruction of sorts
Vangence screamin blaster
2000 mile stratocaster
In control now, thank you
I'm in the here
In the here and now
_____________________________________________________________

21. Slaughter House

Slaughter house
rip your mind
Slaughter house
rip your soul apart
Slaughter house
conveyer belt finish back to the start

Repeat

To be cont.
_____________________________________________________________
22. The ouja Board

Searching for the answers that -
Searching for the questions that -
Searching for the spirit that - releases all inner know

In the closet in my room, hidden well below
Darken the lights, gather round, the tension builds and grows
This game, not a game, no trivia persuit
Burning the candle, its flames does grows, the fear does makeyou mute
Now the answer do appear, in the court jesters laugh,
upon your brain apparitions sear
spoken: What the fuck have you done?

Chorus
Caution chanced the ouja board, conjuring presence of evil lord
master of black death, breathing down the back of your neck
His anger starts to grow
The blood begins to flow
Searching for the answers that -
searching for the questions that -
Searching for the spirit that, releases all inner know

Intestinal fortitude, indirect discourse
sequestration , castration, you were warned of the force
Invitiation into the mysteries, the talisman does charm
Evil deit in your home, has got you by the arm
Released from a 1000 year spell,
Oh so glad to welcome hell,
you asked for it, you got it,
now all is not so well

(repeat chorus)

Now you know, your sorry you asked,
Hermes does lead you soul
A helot in hades, you drew the black spade
your excistence now a black hole

(repeat chorus)

Sounds of children screaming. Mother turns to father setting on the couch "Larry, go up there and see if you can quiet those kids down and get them ready for bed so we can have some peace and quiet around here" He replies "OOOKAY"

fade
______________________________________________________

23. Fairwell

Intro riff

Laying on the embalming table,
draining the guts out of me,
This hell is all to real,
what has become of me?
Hell yes I can feel,
this hell is all to real,

Chorus
6 ft above I was man, 6ft below I cannot stand,
The smell of rot is all that I've got, I'm paying hell, I'm paying alot
Thisbible weighing upon my chest, In this hell called layed to rest
Oh God please NO!! This eternity is so damned slow
6ft above I was man, 6ft below I cannot stand

my prospective in the jaws of the beast
This plethoria- a demons feast

To be cont.
______________________________________________________

24. How does it feel

intro riff

The truth that I embrace, is such a damned discrace
like a cold winters morning slap right in the face
I see the setting sun and when all is said and done
that to be called survivor is to be the unlucky one

Chorus
How does it feel?
How does it feel?
How does it feel when reality is so unfucking real?
How does it feel
How does it feel to be left for abandoned - left overkill! (echo)
How does it feel?
How does it feel?
How does it feel when reality is so unfucking real?

Enjoy the desicration while you are still able to
because whats coming next will be triple World war II
When all has come undone and your staring at the sun
remember it was your invention and I hope your having fun!!!

(repeat chorus)

No more fame and glory
End of time, end destroy
you say you are alive,
What you really mean is dead
tibulation bullet blew off half your rotting head

bridge wt solo

(Repeat chorus) x2

end
_________________________________________________________________

25.Land of the Dead

intor riff

River of red, pheonix burns rises its head
Madness rules on a throne of blood
Servants toil in feilds of mud
Iron shackles on whipped men
Laughing jackles in the fools den
Hatred fights and madness rules
knashing teeth, devils tools
Living sorrow, dreads tommorrow
Dragon fed in the Land of the dead (Repeat x 2)
Underworld, dark decay
Black world, death ray
Hail storm, evil cloud
Black cloth of a death shroud
river of red runs through the land of the dead (Repeat x 2)
you made your bed
now off with your head!!!!
Land of the dead
Land of the dead
Land of the dead
They get up and walk
If they could only talk
Land of the dead (repeat x 2)

(end faded)
____________________________________________________________________________

26. Deadline

intro riff

Welcome to my nightmare
take my hand let me take you there
Stalked and luered, the hunter becomes the hunted
wicked world, evil evolution, all growth is stunted,
Basic needs and secret decay
razor claws sinking into skin
Terror screams, death throes,
one life ends,
another begins

(chorus)
Deadline, right on time,
How do you like this nightmare of mine?
Pain and suffering
Human misery
Please God set me free!!!!

Damaged goods on the mend
Do me a favor and give me the end
Tormented of every second of every day
How much longer will I have to pay
Satan loosened 1000 years
Eternal death in a sea of tears

(Repeat Chorus)

Alone in the dark in the halls of the mad
Alone in the nightmare is worse than bad
Take my hand, let me take you there,
Its so lonely to be alone (echo)
so painful to be alone (echo)
and in the end we're all alone (echo)
spoken: Hello! can anybody here me!!? Hello

(repeat Chorus)

end
_________________________________________________________________

27 . A million dead cops

chorus
And no one stops till we got alot
a million dead cops

to be continued
____________________________________________________________

28. The anti you:

Unsecure and paraniod
in your 9 to 5 prison cell
Then it's back out on the streets to
your backed up self made traffic hell
Then finally home to unwind, to a get up and do it again and you better fucking be on time

Short hair
suit and tie
your in the grave
before you've died
corporation mind control
dig deeper fucker its your hole

Chorus
I'm the anti
I'm the anti
I'm the anti you
(repeat x1)

Easy actor
its your play
you do it every single day
get up
to go to work
look in the mirror
can you see the jerk?

repeat chorus

tbc
______________________________________________________

29. We Ain't buying it

chorus:
We aint buying what your selling
clean out your ears
open your eyes
Go outside
and listen to all the people screaming
all the people screaming
and yelling-HEY!
We aint buying what your selling

tbc
___________________________________________________________
30. coffin on wheels

you and your forty thousand dollar coffin on wheels
splayed out all over the highway,
I calmly ask how it feels
cross eyed and open mouth bleeding
I get the impression that it KILLS!
You and your forty thousand dollar coffin on wheels

tbc
__________________________________________________________________
Other titles we are working on:

Just a bad dream
Lie to me
My blood boils
Preachers son
Alien Ruler
Head Said
Traffic Jam
President

covers:

The Motels
Walking in L.A. (with Nuclear skull intro)
She wears her breast like a badge to pass
In her wake a glimse of her ass
And she walks and walks and walks and walks
But only a NOBODY walks in LA
walkin, walkin,
nobodies walkin, walkin.....

nuclear skull FAQ's updated APR 2008

2005-03-19T09:14:00.000-08:00

0. What is nuclear skull?

Nuclear skull first and foremost is the band who's memebers enjoy punk, metal, hardcore and all things chaos related.

1. Whats the story behind the logo? Who came up with the cool logo?

The conception of the logo design was purely accidental. Mark had a small studio office and the walls were one big collage and as it happened a skull n crossbones from a chlorine gas cylinder was placed beside a nuclear logo and Mark saw that the two could be combined and the design could be outfitted to present a never ending image with the skull within the skull. So basically Mark took two internationally known images that no one person can own, combined the two into one entity that he now owns.

2. Do you make any money doing this?

Mark: Our #1 goal is not to make lots of money, but to write the next cool groovin song that makes its way into the ears, hearts, minds and bloodstreams of millions of people.
Lee: So what's the answer you fuck!?
Mark: Hell no, we're ALL broke and we're wearing plastic grocery bags and rubber bands on our feet for shoes. Send us your money. Buy a T-shirt and a cd. We're desparate!! MAKE A DONATION!!! BUY A Fricken cd, a T-shirt something!!! Geez!
The puma: Yeah and send us someLove too!!

3. Will you ever have small T-shirts in the designs you are offering now?

Mark: For the LG's and the shorties? What kind of lunchbox did you have in school?
Lee: I had a purple scooby Doo lunchbox.
Mark: Cool, I had a beige/yellow Rat Patrol lunchbox with an airbourne jeep with this guy in the back manning a big ass machine gun. It definately affected my mind, to this day I'm into WW II. What a crazy, insane time it must have been to be to have lived through that nightmare, the piles of dead, everyone fighting for world domination.
Brian: Who won?
Mark: The midgets.
"The Puma": So what about the fuck'in shirts?
Mark: Yeah most likely. The licensing agent is working on a couple deals with some manufactuers and distributors. What kind of lunch box did you have asshole?
"The Puma": I had a fucking bag of nails.
Mark: Good answer, good answer.
Brian: Good acid, Good acid, survey says!....

4. Do you really sell custom motorcycles and cars?

Mark: The examples featured on the web site at times are "For sale" as I know people who have showrooms featuring some very cool exotic machines. I personally dont condone auto's. WALK get out and experience a day in the sunshine

5. When are you going to tour/play live/come to our town?

(see bio)

6. How can I join"THE FALLOUT CREW"?

Mark: It a complex initiation process. 1st you must be approved then.....Send us a note via email or snail mail and we'll send you a street pack of flyers to make copies and distribute as you see fit.
"The Puma": Yeah and then we get angry emails from upset people telling us to stop!!
Mark: Yeah like those crazy bastards in Cleveland, Baltimore and Chicago with thier stickers! Holy fucking hell! Listen, we're responsible for ourselves; If some of our fans and supporters happen to plaster a police car or a shopping mall entrance with our logos, Thats not us!
Brian: Mark, you told me that you could fly all over the world at night and it was you putting stickers all over the place.
Mark: OK, you've busted me - sometimes I fly and hover in the night sky and travel the globe putting stickers all over peoples stuff. When the sun goes down the party begins!!

7.What are your Present goals?

Brian: Do people really asked these questions?
Mark: yeah, probably some 13 year old girl responding from our Hit Parader ad, either that or a prisoner from our Outlaw biker ads from the past.
Lee: I want a giant space ship to land on earth.
"The Puma": Yeah, that would be cool!
Mark: Alien Ruler, what could be crueler? Alien Ruler yeeeaaahhhh.
"The Puma": The song or the real thing?

8. The band seems very political, what are your political stances?

Mark: Live and let live. Fuck all these religious bullshit wars! Can idiot mankind learn from the past?
"The Puma": I guess not.
Lee: FUCK THE SYSTEM!!!

9. What are your influences?

Mark: OVERKILL , people that piss me off
"The Puma": Scorpions, AC/DC!
Brian: Black Sabbath , Carcass
Lee: Jim Neighbors!
Mark: There's one in every crowd.

10. What are/were your day jobs?

Mark: Navy( Administration), Steakhouse Manager, Hotel Front Desk clerk, and then I got wise and burned all my suit and ties and got a job chillin at the beach. Who can ask for a better office? girls walking around in bikinis,people relaxing (except for one particular family who EVERYFUCKINGWHERE they go cause some sort of problem or have some trivia complaint. Die already you miserable fucks!!).
Lee: Fat old canadian men in speedos and thongs!
Mark: That is a major drawback for sure!! I try to block that out of my mind. Unpure! Unpure! !!!
Lee: I work for Dade-County animal control, you can see how that translates to Rock n roll dealing with crazed wild dogs, rabid racoons, snakes and crazed cat ladies!
"The Puma": I work on a pleasure fishing yatch. I've got the best job screaming at wimpy tourist "What the fuck are you doing!!!".
Mark:( sung) "A three hour tour...."
Lee: Who plays Gilligan, little buddy?
Brian: I've worked retail a few years managing Blockbusters. I've got the best job getting to see movies before anyone else does and fucking with peoples minds. "mam how much have you had to drink today? Perhaps you should come back when you are sober."

11. What is ETERNI-tv?

Mark: It's a solar powered flat screen TV I designed for your coffin so you won't get bored while your down in your grave rotting. ..google it and see how these "slick LA fucks" took my idea and are running wt it. Can you beleive that. I cant wait to go knocking on thier door when I move out there.
Lee: Yeah you fucking fucks!! TV 24-7, any channel you wanna watch.
Brain: Are you insane?

12. When will you have a full length cd?

Mark: It'sout now. Th..e Vengeful legions and we are presently working on #2 The Nuclear Skull-N-Bones Society. Its all on our sites

13. When will you have a video?
14. When will you start touring?
( for 13-14 see bio)

15.What happened to "little Timmy"?

Mark: Last I heard he was still down in the well.
"The Puma": AGAIN!!??
Brian: Yep!
Lee: Is he dead yet?
Mark: He'll never die! He always survives only to fall back in the well again. This is why he was put on earth sort of like "Billy the Kid"

16. What happened to" little Sissy?"

Mark: Oh she's still getting killed and comin back to life and each time we try to" one up" her last death.
Lee: The last I heard she was setting in her breakfast nook eating a bowl of cheerios when a meteor, a cargo plane hauling dynamite, a 18 wheeler haulin 1500 gallons of gas and a mortar that was accidently knocked over from the nearby Army base all plowed into her simultaniously. And two days later she came crawling out of the still burning hole looking for her Sunday dress.
Mark: When did that happen?
Brian:Last Thursday
Mark: Really?
Brian: Yep.

17. What is in your cd player right now?

Lee: A grilled cheese sandwhich
Mark: Soundgarden: The A-sides
The Puma: AC/DC live
Brian:Judas Priest: Angel of Retribution

18. Whats behind the "Fuck the System" T-shirt?

The Puma: Hopefully you wearing one!!
Mark: I had a bad year with authority figures stepping over thier boundries and on me, add to this the state of things in the world today and when the pressure cooker explodes, THIS IS WHAT YOU GET. Shithellfuckdamnpiss!!!

19. Whats your favorite color?

Brain: Is this from the 13 yr old Hit Parader girl?
Mark: Nah, this is her 7 year old brother.
Brain: Blood red
Lee: Blacker than black
The Puma: Nothingness
Mark: Is nothingness a color? I like them all.
Lee: Even BROWN?
Mark: Especially brown.
.

20. Whats your favorite movie?

Brain: Caddyshack, comedies
Mark: The Shining, "redrum, redrum"
Lee: I like the James Bond series, action flicks
The Puma": Dawn of the dead, Evil dead, Night of the living dead, I'm into horror flicks, either that or hardcore porn.

21. Whats your favorite video game?

Mark: It depends on my mood: Resident Evil series, Steel Reign, Thunderstike II, Ace combat, I.Q. I've been playing the 1st Tomb Raider as of late. ols school.
Brian: I like the war games, Covert ops, Harrier Attack stuff like that.
The Puma: Need for speed, Grand Prix, San Andreas, the competitive racing games
Lee:My mommy won't let me play video games.
Brain: Your mothers 70 yrs old!!
Lee: SO!
Mark: Why won't she let you play them?
Lee: back in 1986 I was supposed to be in at 10:30pm and I got in at 11:15pm.
The Puma: Good GAWD man!!!!! What kind of son are you!!!
Mark: I heard in Saudi Arabia they cut off peoples heads for shit like that!
Brain: Yeah its true, they do!

22. Whats your favorite food?

Lee: Chinese buffet. You rikey sushi?
Brian: Yeah me too. Its got everything vegetables, meat, soup, one stop shopping
Mark:Beer.
TP: Is malt liquor food?
Mark: Do you want it to be?
TP: Yeah I do.
Mark: Ok I'll see what I can do. I know a guy who can call a guy and have it up before the Senate or Congress. I'll see if we can't get a bill passed or something

23.Whats your take on MTV today?

Mark: Bring back "THE" Headbangers Ball and fuck all the bullshit shows
TP: I wanna sodomize Ashley Simpson with a pool que!!!
Brian: My bitch is VH1's slogan is "music first" meanwhile they do everything but!!
Lee: Garbage, fucking garbage!!

24.What are your favorite TV shows?

Brian:Retro stuff like Hawaii 5-0. Its so corney its hilareous!
Mark: The Simpsons, Family Guy and Globetrekker, I love that show.
Lee: TV sucks!!
TP: X files, history channel

25. What are your favorite sports teams?

Lee: Marlins, Dolphins, Heat
Brian:Nascar. I got the need for speed
Mark: sports amounts to a bunch of overpaid egos prancing around in tight pants! They can all go get fucked!!!Who gives a rats ass? Its all a bunch of wanker shit!
TP: He's just mad because he lost $3000 on football last year.
Mark: FUCK YOU Brett Favre!!!

26.If you could be any animal what would you be?

Lee: You've got to be shitting me!! What the fuck is this?
Mark: Listen, it's probably some little 7 yr old girl from Teen Beat and BY GOD if she wants to know what animal you want to be then Goddamn it she's going to know!
Lee: I wish I were dead! Hows that?
Mark: We'd need another bass player then. I'd like to be a seahawk.
Brain: Bigfoot.
TP: Death

27. What pets do you have or have you had?

Lee: a dog with mange.
Brian: Is this a survey or something?
Mark: Yeah, all the data here is going to the Purina corporation which is owned by Umbrella.
Brian: Umbrella?
TP: Resident Evil
Brian: Oh yeah, ok.
Mark: I've had two dogs and both were insane. I guess naming one "Cujo" did'nt help much.
TP: I have fish and they are all in the ocean.
Lee: OH really?

28. What kind of Car do you drive?

Lee: 2005 Celica
Brian: A 1986 Saab 900 turbo
Mark: No car, no problems: No gas bill, No insurance, no parking problems, No maintenance, No speeding tickets, no hassles with the fucking asshole cops. Just money in the bank.
Lee: A Jeep cherokee good for hauling what you got.

29. What is your dream car?:

Mark: Cars suck. It's damn hard to be killed in a car accident if you aint got one.
Lee; A 911 turbo
Brain: An Abrams tank to wipe out all these old fuckers with thier turn signals on!!
TP: A Lamborgini, silver.

30 . Whats your pet peeve?

Brian: All these old mutherfuckers riding around with thier blinkers on. There should be a cut off date on the age of drivers. Everybody over the age of say 199 - no driving!!
Mark: Pennies. They are bullshit and the goverment is bullshit for not doing away with them! That and people who talk shit and NEVER back it up. Total crap.
TP: Traffic and the way these people drive, its crazy
Lee: I'm allaergic to animals, If i even think of animals I'll break out in hives.

Who is your Typical Nuclear Skull Fan?

Mark: Probably a person who likes all the bands and scene we like posted on our TOP 20 on our MYSPACE. Motorhead, Overkill, Death, Death Angel.

(These questions were originally concieved, purged from stacks of mail by "Michelle" our very 1st intern who didnt even know what a "zine" was when she got involved wt us! We threw her into the fire pretty quick wt the duties of Fan, prisoner mail, orders, copies and this FAQ session which was her idea. We created a MONSTER!!! You go GrL..)

Bio circa Aug 2009

2005-03-18T07:37:00.000-08:00

Nuclear Skull was created from a pure power source of anger.

In 2002, Mark Scott, the founder and all that is Nuclear Skull, was involved in a business start-up and was attacked and conspired against by the very people that were there to" help". "They helped me all right " Mark explains " I ended up losing a very valuable domain and it cost me thousands of dollars, not to mention years of hard work and sacrifice. At that piont it was ON! It was either buy a full automatic machine gun and kill the mutherfuckers or buy a guitar and go ballistic. I had been writing all along, which was something that pissed off these goverment assholes in the first place, so I bought the killer pawn shop guitar and turned the lyrics into music using Nuclear Skull as the platform."

In 2003 Mark hooked up with Ft. Lauderdale drummer "Fang" of the Creepy T's and layed down the garage version of "NucleaRage" which featured "Kill Again", "Sick in the Head" and "Plaugeround". "Fangs bass player was suppossed to lay down the bass tracks and he turned out to be a typical S. Florida wanker: ALL talk and no action. So that was the deal killer. Fangs a standup guy who backs his shit up, he just chose the wrong person to back him up. End of story.

Despite featuring only rythm guitar, vocals and drums, Mark released the tracks promoting them in Hit Parader, Revolver, Easy Rider, Metal Maniacs, Rag S. Fl, Outlaw Biker and Maximum Rock n roll. "I had to have something to build on and this was it" Mark adds.

Unfazed and more determined than ever to put out more of OUR music, in 2004 Mark added lead guitarist "The Puma" who brought along new drummer Brian Hernandez. Bassist Lee Scott (No relation to Mark) answered an ad in a local musicians magazine, and all have touring experience and the group proceeded to produce "Multi-illionaire" the bands 1st studio demo featuring "Resident Evil Mercenary", "Nuclear Skull Affirmed" and "Smash, Crash, Burn". "Being the paraniod psychotic that I am, and with damn good reason" Mark adds " I thought this was some kind of set-up as these guys were too good to be true. I mean to find a group of like minded individuals in this sea of human shit that is Miami, who can actually play thier instruments and back up the words that come out of thier mouths with action is unreal. I am still pinching myself"

2007:

The band put out its 1st full length cd "The Vengeful Legions" and arranged international distribution with Ramhaus in Sept 2006. The video for the song "President" was released in Oct 2006 and can be seen currently on the site. (Later on 2008 Mark would take Ramhaus to court to get the initial inventory back plus Computer work done for them as Mark had refered the ire Intern/computer guy and Ramhaus was playing games on paying this guy his money. So Mark stepped up to the plate to get justice and Ramhaus was orderd to filled all thier obligations.)

2008:

THE SKULL -n- BONES Society CD our next cd is in the works.... hear our 1st release "PsychFUCKINmaniac" on MYSPACE

Currently the band is promoting itself on an independant basis DIY and let it fly!!!) in Metal Edge, Metal Maniacs, Maximum Rock-n-Roll (the coolest punk publication EVER!!!) and Razorcake.

2009:

In early 2005 there was an incident on a Miami Dade County Transit bus where Mark had laid some promotionals of the Band on a few of the bus seats. Despite the fact that there was an elderly Hispanic lady passing out religious brochures person to person - a violation of the posted rules, the Bus driver basically verball attacked Mark and the Band in front of a Bus load of college kids, calling him and the Band a Nazi and Racist Organization and kicking him off the bus after getting a Miami Police Officers help in doing so.

Over time, this incident escalated and "snow-balled" to the point where Mark was continuously being confronted by individuals that where aware of the situation that had occurred on the bus
and being called a "Nazi" and that "Nuclear Skull Nazi band guy". Having spent nearly $50,000 since the bands inception, only to be falsely labeled and defamed in this manner, Mark decided that he had had enough and filed a defamation Lawsuit vs. Miami Dade County in 2008.

Incidently, this lawsuit came to the attention of the local New Times and was reported for the absurd, "Twilight Zone", "ONLY in Miami" story that it is and days after its puclication Mark was subsequently fired from his job and main source of income of 8 yrs, which largely funded the operations of Nuclear Skull.

As a direct result, Nuclear Skull -mid sophmoric cd : The Skull-n-Bones Society" has come to a sudden halt and is on hiatus while this Legal matter is sorted out and plays itself out in the court

Mark: " This is like a fucking nightmare. I mean here I am minding my own business, doing my own thing wt the momentum of all the ads we had going and I'm moving the project forward and then this happens. I havent spent close to 10 yrs of my life and $50,000 of my hard earned money to be labeled a Nazi. And I certainly am NOT going to just set back and accept this, which is why I have, on my own w/o a lawyer, filed this lawsuit for the REAL damages that I have incurred due to some coward Cuban rafter that has floated into this country running from oppression, ONLY to turn around and do the same oppressive bullshit to me, A person who was born and raised in this country. Are you kidding me?

I still havent recieved anything close to an apology and these FUCKS continue to condone the actions of this Bus driver and the damages this has caused my personal life and reputation as a musician. And they basically continue to call me and the band a Nazi/Racist organization. I AM FUCKING LIVID!!.

...Now you know why they call this fucked place "The Bannana Republic". This would NEVER have been allowed to escalate the way it has in any other part of the USA. This entire area is shit, run by TOTAL shit coward people and thier actions speak volumes, you dont have to take my word for it OK? And no matter the outcome of this Lawsuit, to some I will always be known as "That Nazi Band". The damages are irreversable and irrepairable. I cant get out of this 3rd world shit hole of a place fast enough and as soon as this Lawsuit is settled I'm outta here the very next day.

From the inception of the band, its definatly come full circle and its par for the course of this area. The people are nasty, bitter, resentful and hate Americans. And if your having anything that resembles success and/or happineess in your life they hate you even more. Why ANYONE would come here to live, OR vacation for that matter I have no clue? The beaches are filthy and ALL man made, the people are rude. And if its "intelligence" your looking for then "Hang it UP!!" I'm world traveled and never have I been ANYWHERE where there is such a concentration of the some of the stupidest mutherfuckers on the Planet!! Why would you want to give them your money?? Take it from me: Avoid this place like the plauge. You have been warned"

June 2009 -

Mark : I'm Still pissed over this entire chain of events that have derailed my life. Personally I'm slowly becoming functional again as far as working and being gainfully employed since being Fired from my plush Cool Pool gig of 8 years. And it all gets back to The above described "Bus incident" and fall-out. THen to further throw fuel on the fire (And what I'm about to describe here is a typical Miami Stunt and way of doing business). I come to learn via the defense attorney that The fucking Bus Driver hasnt even been served yet!!!.... So instead of telling me this The Process server just sat on it and didnt even tell me they had NOT been served. When finally approached and asked why, The Process Server said They were not being allowed in the facility to get to him to serve him at the Bus Terminal." So basically the time I'm spending here NOW to finally get him served and having to go through his initail response, then my response, ALL this time here could be spent asking to have this set for trail and having depositions set up and otherwise moving forward.

TIME. I'm NOT going to even begin to calculate the months this may have cost me. Instead I'm concentrating on 1 thing - Getting this A-hole served. I ended up getting the Sherriffs Office to serve the papers and they also had trouble as the driver was on some leave or something, So the Sherriff got his Home Address and they are going to get him there. So its moving forward and I know what I have to do next and I already have my move after that planned in requesting a motion to set hearing when filing my response to his response to the court. Its alot of VERY administrative bullshit that I could be spending my time otherwise creating my music and progressing the NUCLEAR SKULL Situation.

However, as I come out of my funk of all this, and not working for close to 8 mos. or so as a result, I now will have a few extra bucks to get the next batch of songs out and get back into the studio and finish this music for release. I listened to some tracks the other night but have an entire notebook of details to review as well and then there is the last session with drum tracks that was sent to me on computer that got deleted by Hotmail as an old file or something that I dont have and need to request from the Producer......

..... At least the Music Process is starting again to finish this next batch of somgs up and do this and I want to get it done because its been on my plate for to long. I'm going to get more studio time and adds some riffs to the session to have them for later usage/songs as I do not have a duel cassette deck to work with on my own as before. And in saying that I'm just trying to make a positive out of a turd in taking so long and all this Bullshit. As I can look at it like "well I've got my most recent guitar riffs recorded, whereas before I wouldnt have this" BFD!!

The outcome I want to see out of all this is a monetary Settlement for the Trouble, Time, Momentum lost, aggrivation Etc. all this has caused me. And if thats with the court or the defendants, I Dont Care. The Bottom line is this objective is met and acheived and I can move on with my life and "Move on I will". I have NO interest in doing ANY more of this Miami-Dade County Lunacy. Its ameturish @ best. I want to move on to Vegas or LA and regroup the band into its next phase which I want to be a Live Performing band playing shows & Recording. And the same thing for my personal life, I want to take this Pool Management to the next level and THAT looks like Vegas. First things First and back to the "Reality" of whats happening today and what I can do to acheive this. Small steps to big success. Regardless of any judgement in this case, when all the dust is settled theres NO USE in me sticking around here for MORE aggrivation, So suck on some of that and put it in your hat.

So as of this blog, THIS is whats presently going on with Nuclear Skull and Me -Mark "THE NUCLEAR SKULL doing it all. Its a big Pain in the ass to have this ongoing Lawsuit but my Damages Need and WILL BE Heard before the court and I will describe THIS and how my life has been turned upside down by all this and my current Local reputation because of this incident as a "Nazi/Racist"Band. We'll settle this thing out of court or as the Judge sees fit. So far its Justice Delayed is Justice Denied" and I'm fighting like Hell to get this thing before the court. So far according to the Judge to quote "You dont need to say anything. You are winning" (I made a locking Key to my mouth motion and gestured like I was throwing the key away.) The Defense Attorney went on to explain how they were not liable because the actions where not "Excessive" whereupon the Judge asked "You Dont think calling him a NAZI was excessive?" (All Smiles here!" and its not as if I'm making this up or anything, I mean the Driver even admits to doing it!!)

Welcome to the Insanity that is my Life.

For more on Nuclear Skull see:

Nuclearskull.com
Myspace.com/nuclearskull
Facebook.com/nuclearskull

or write to:

Nuclear Skull
1101 98th st #6
Bay Harbour, Fl 33154